- Final update to my life coach on the evening before our 22nd coaching session:
Friday, October 9, 2020
Summary and Miracles (fourth and final thought download to my life coach on October 7, 2020)
Thursday, August 13, 2020
Chapter 26: Spiritual Learning
On July 23, 2018, I took a tour of UVU with my sister and her
oldest daughter, since she was considering coming here for college the following
year. At the end of the tour, we were walking past the back door of the Institute
of Religion and my sister wondered if the door was open. We went down to check
and it was. So we convinced her daughter to just be willing to check it out
with us. One of the teachers there gave us an impromptu tour, some tips about
good times to hang out there, and a plug for the inexpensive parking. At the
end of the tour, I mentioned that I was a student at UVU also. He surprised me
by saying I was eligible to take classes there too. That thought had never crossed
my mind previously and it planted a seed, in the same way it did during the original tour of UVU with our daughter. I took
a copy of the classes offered and looked over it when I returned home. I decided
to take Teachings of President Russell M. Nelson and two other classes,
but I wasn’t allowed to register for them online because I’m over the age of 30.
I called and the secretary told me she could register me if I came down there
in person. So I rushed back to the Institute before I lost my courage. I signed
up for two other classes on Monday and Wednesday as well, since my UVU classes were on Tuesday and Thursday.
On July 30th, my sister
and I met a family friend for breakfast at the Kneaders near our home. She gave
my sister a book titled Joseph Smith’s First Vision: A Guide to the Historical
Accounts by Steven C. Harper. I spontaneously decided to go along with my
sister up to Temple Square that day. She was meeting a friend for lunch and I
thought it would be a peaceful experience to get away, walk around Temple
Square, and read that book in preparation for beginning Institute classes the
following month. We separated when we arrived and I wandered through Temple Square
taking pictures. Then I watched the panoramic short movie of the first vision
in the Church History Museum and it felt like I was there in the sacred grove
with Joseph. I just stayed seated after the film ended and pondered about how
grateful I was that he had the courage to pray and find answers for himself. I
decided to stay and watch it again. A Japanese family came in and sat down,
which meant the film was shown in their language. It helped me feel the Spirit
even stronger when I couldn’t understand the words being said. That experience
was the perfect preparation for reading the book later. After the film ended, I
looked around the museum and paid special attention to the Kirtland time period,
since our parents were currently serving a mission in Historic Kirtland. I didn’t
feel like doing anything else, so after I took a picture of the Christus statue
in the North Visitors Center, I sat on a chair below the ramp leading up to it.
I rested my leg and started to read my sister’s book.
I decided to walk around a little
more after reading for about 45 minutes. So I headed over to the Joseph Smith
Memorial Building. I rode the elevator up to the tenth floor to see the view
and read a little more of the book on a bench just down the hall from the fountain
and restaurants. Then I rode the elevator back down to the mezzanine level to
listen to the beautiful piano music coming from the lobby below.
After listening to the music for a few minutes, I felt ready to read some more. So I sat in the chapel and read while I waited for my sister to meet me after her lunch. The book discusses the different accounts of Joseph Smith’s first vision from a historical scholarly perspective. The short movie I watched earlier blended a few details from the different accounts to provide a fuller perspective of Joseph’s reasons for praying that day. The different accounts were told at different times to different people in different settings. To me, if each telling were exactly the same, that would make me feel like it was fabricated – like he memorized a story he made up. Each time he shared the story, he discussed different details to fit the audience. The whole afternoon was a very spiritual experience for me with plenty of time to ponder and pray about what I was reading.
The appearance of Heavenly Father
and Jesus Christ to Joseph, not only ushered in a new dispensation with Priesthood
power on the earth, but also explained more about Their character. Heavenly
Father called Joseph by name, which meant He knew him and cared about the
concerns of this fourteen year old farm boy from a poor family. He introduced
Jesus and asked Joseph to “Hear Him.” This vision showed that They were two
distinct and separate Beings. It also demonstrated the complete trust Heavenly
Father has in Jesus as the Savior of all mankind. I’m grateful that I took the
time to visit the Christus statue as well. My testimony is centered in Jesus
Christ. I’m so grateful for His perfect life, which showed us the way to live
ours. I’m even more grateful for His atoning sacrifice for each of us. This
selfless sacrifice included His suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane, more agonizing
suffering on the cross, and His resurrection on the third day. Because of Him,
we will all be resurrected. Through His grace, we have the opportunity to
repent, forgive, progress, change, and become more like Him in the process. This
experience only strengthened the testimony and I know I was inspired to
spontaneously join my sister that day.
When I walked into the Institute on
the first day of class, I was overwhelmed by the peaceful Spirit in that building.
It was even more tangible than I feel it in the temple. I was grateful for the
opportunity to spend more time in another building dedicated for holy purposes.
I immediately loved my teacher for Teachings of President Russell M. Nelson
and felt a desire to talk with her as often as possible after class. I soaked
up the information in each class and took pictures of most of the slides so
that I could revisit what I was learning. I also became friends with two female
students - one sat behind me and the other sat next to me at the other end of the
row. I believe that the teacher and one of those friends were a big part of the
reason I was supposed to attend Institute. That is the teacher who encouraged me
on the last day I attended class to pay more attention to references in the temple
endowment session about the cross. I discuss that later in the chapter titled “Being
Tutored in the Temple.”
I enjoyed the lesson in the other
two classes on that first day, but I also knew I wasn’t supposed to take them after
all. Along with that thought, I unexpectedly had a strong desire to try to graduate
from Institute, which was not on my radar at all. So I went to talk to the
secretaries about the possibility of transferring my religion credits from BYU.
Two of the secretaries lived in the 5th ward of our previous stake
and the other one was related to a family in the 3rd ward. What are
the odds of that? I wasn’t ever able to visit them when I lived there, so I
thought this might be an opportunity to get to know them better. They agreed to
transfer both classes from Fall semester 1992, which was such a relief and meant
that nothing had been wasted from that original college experience! My Sharing
the Gospel class transferred as an elective and they were willing to allow
my Book of Mormon class to count as one of the core classes in place of Eternal
Families, since I just didn’t think it was a good idea to expose myself to ideal
teachings with my current family situation. In order to graduate, I needed to
take three core classes, so I knew I needed to start that semester. I wasn’t
sure which core class to choose, so I asked the secretaries for suggestions.
They suggested I talk to one of the teachers and so I went to the classroom
where his class was just finishing. He immediately reminded me of my dad and he
actually knew my dad. That was enough of a reason to take the class from him,
so I registered for Foundations of the Restoration and began attending the
next class.
I signed up to give a short devotional at the
beginning of the following class on August 27, 2018. I’m including that here. “In
Words
of Mormon, Mormon abridges the large plates of Nephi and he puts the small
plates with the other plates. Verse 7 says, ‘And I do this for a wise
purpose; for thus it whispereth me, according to the workings of the Spirit of
the Lord which is in me. And now, I do not know all things; but the Lord
knoweth all things which are to come; wherefore, he worketh in me to do
according to his will.’
This verse is explaining how the Lord prepared a way
for the work not to be frustrated when Joseph lost the 116 pages. But, in
a personal application, I have been so grateful for the promptings of the
Spirit when I'm trying to figure out my next steps. That happened to me
last Wednesday. I was prompted to go to the temple before class and put all of
my temple cards in my backpack. I didn't know why, but I know better not to
follow a prompting. During the session, I was given a stronger prompting to ask
others if they would like to help with some of the names. That wasn't something
I planned. I feel like it should be a priority
for each of us to find our own family names to take to the temple. But a couple
of older ladies in my previous ward asked me to help them with their names,
which I did for several years. And that laid the foundation for finding my own
names. I hope that will be the case with the people who help me as well. I
know that personal revelation is a gift from Heavenly Father. I'm so grateful
to Joseph Smith for following his prompting to pray out loud and ask God for
more wisdom.” I passed around a sign-up sheet after that, even though I probably
wasn’t supposed to. Several students signed up and continued to help me with my
temple work all semester. Three kind returned missionary guys helped me with
several endowments each. Two female students in that class and also my two friends
in the other class helped with baptisms, confirmations, initiatories, and a couple
of endowments. In addition, I kept running into a guy I met in the class I
dropped. I asked if he would be willing to help also and he did several initiatories
and endowments as well. It was clear that the Lord orchestrated which classes I
should take and I’m so grateful for those divine intersections.
On September 7, 2018, I was prompted to attend the Friday noon devotional where Steve Harper spoke about the new book titled Saints that he helped edit. (He is the author of the book on Joseph Smith that I spent an afternoon reading at Temple Square in July.) I didn’t realize that my dad taught with him in the BYU religion department several years ago. When my teacher found out about that connection, she spontaneously invited me to the speaker’s luncheon afterward.
I decided to visit my parents on their
mission over Fall break. So I flew there by myself and had a good experience staying
with them in their apartment and touring the nearby historic sites. In fact, I
wrote my final paper on my visit to Kirtland and Hiram, Ohio on October 18-19,
2018. I’m including part of it here. “Before flying to see my missionary parents in Historic Kirtland, I
learned about the areas I would visit in our Foundations of the Restoration class. In the three classes
preceding my trip, we discussed lessons titled “The Vision” (Doctrine and Covenants 76), “The Kirtland Temple and Priesthood Keys”
(Doctrine and Covenants 109-110), and “Strength Amid Opposition” (Doctrine and
Covenants 112, 121, and 122). I’m grateful for the deeper perspective my visit
gave to the events that I learned about in class.
We visited the John Johnson home on
the first day I was there. It is located in Hiram, Ohio (about 45 minutes away
from Historic Kirtland). My parents and I were the only visitors on the tour,
so we were able to take our time and I felt the Spirit confirm to me the
importance of this place. Joseph and Emma Smith lived there while Joseph worked
on the translation of the Bible (JST). He and Sidney Rigdon received the vision
of the degrees of glory in the upper room of the Johnson home and it was
recorded as Doctrine and Covenants section 76. The missionary who led the tour
took a picture of my parents and I in that room where the Savior was seen in a
vision!
A mob of men violently dragged Joseph from the Johnson home one night, beat him unmercifully, and poured tar and feathers on him…. He made his way back to the house later that night, and the women there helped to remove the tar and feathers. He recovered enough to preach a sermon on the front steps of that home the next morning and was able to identify members of the mob among the group. I am impressed with the Christlike attributes of forgiveness and humility that the prophet Joseph Smith demonstrated.
The Kirtland Temple was the first temple to be built in this dispensation (D&C 88:119). It was dedicated in March 1836 (D&C 109) and the Savior appeared there to accept it as a place where He would reveal His word (D&C 110:1-10). After that, Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery were visited by Moses, Elias, and Elijah—they each restored priesthood keys for this dispensation (D&C 110:11-16). Moses restored the keys to the gathering of the lost tribes of Israel (I think of that as missionary work or proclaiming the gospel). Elias is a title and the Abrahamic Covenant was restored through him (I think of that as temple marriage or perfecting the saints). Elijah restored the sealing power (I think of that as redeeming the dead, where the hearts of the children are turned to their fathers and vice versa). Joseph Smith also saw a vision of the celestial kingdom in the Kirtland Temple (D&C 137) and I love verse 9, which explains that we will be judged by our works and the desires of our heart. That gives me great comfort because good people always seem to have a desire to do more than they actually end up doing, so we get credit for both. We have a very merciful and loving God.
The last place we visited was the
Isaac Morley farm, which is a couple of miles away from the main Historic
Kirtland site. My dad bent a smaller limb down from one of the large trees on
the farm, so that I could have a leaf from a tree that existed during the time
of Joseph Smith. I appreciated learning that Isaac Morley stayed true to his
faith, in spite of opposition. He and his wife, Mary, were some of the first
converts to the Church in Ohio. At the time of their conversion, several
friends lived on their farm and shared a communal lifestyle. Later, they better
understood the higher law of consecration and were willing to eventually
sacrifice their farm when the Lord commanded it. I’m very grateful for the
faith, dedication, and courage of the early Saints, which makes it possible for
me to enjoy the blessings of the gospel and temple work today.”
I shared
my family situation in relation to the church with the sister missionaries during
the tour. At the end of the tour, they shared a quote by James E. Faust with me.
“In the pain, the agony, and the heroic
endeavors of life, we pass through a refiner’s fire, and the insignificant and
the unimportant in our lives can melt away like dross and make our faith
bright, intact, and strong.” He continued, “This change comes about through a
refining process which often seems…hard. In this way the soul can become like
soft clay in the hands of the Master in building lives of faith, usefulness,
beauty, and strength. For some, the refiner’s fire causes a loss of belief and
faith in God, but those with eternal perspective understand that such refining
is part of the perfection process. In our extremities, it is possible to become
born again, born anew, renewed in heart and spirit….This trial of faith can
become a priceless experience. Stated Peter, ‘That the trial of your faith,
being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with
fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus
Christ’ (1 Peter 1:7). Trials and adversity can be preparatory
to becoming born anew. A rebirth out of spiritual adversity causes us to become
new creatures… born of God, changed, redeemed, and uplifted—to become the sons and daughters of God. (See Mosiah 27:24–27.)” (“The
Refiner’s Fire,” Ensign, May 1979).
No other
semester compared with that first semester with those two classes hand-picked
just for me. However, I still enjoyed and was uplifted by the other classes I
took at the Institute. In Spring 2019, I
took a second core class, Teachings and Doctrines of the Book of Mormon.
In Summer 2019, I took three classes, so I could graduate and focus solely on
my last semester at UVU in Fall 2019. During first term of Summer, I took my
last core class, Jesus Christ and the Everlasting Gospel. I also took an
elective taught by the Institute director, Repentance and Forgiveness. It
was a powerful class and I met another friend who I have stayed in touch with occasionally
since then. Both teachers and that friend were helpful in supporting me after I
found out our daughter and her boyfriend were going to have a baby.
I
took my last class during second term of Summer, Witnesses of Christ. There
was only one other female student in that class and she didn’t participate
much, so it was like having my own personal lesson with the teacher each time
we met. Two ideas have stayed with me from that class. First, Nephi and Laban were
types and shadows of Christ and Satan. In 1 Nephi 4:10, 18-19 it says that
Nephi “shrunk and would that I might not… I did obey the voice of the Spirit…
and I did gird on his armor…” This can be loosely compared to the Savior
describing His intense suffering in Gethsemane, “…and would that I might not drink the bitter cup, and
shrink—Nevertheless, glory be to the Father, and I partook and finished my
preparations unto the children of men” (Doctrine
and Covenants 19:18-19). Nephi cut off Laban’s head and put on his armor,
which symbolizes Christ’s full victory over Satan. I would have never discovered
that comparison personally and I was grateful for the way this teacher helped
me to look deeper in the scriptures. Second, I learned, “marvel not, neither should
(you) doubt” (Alma
5:49). Marveling about miracles (and spiritual experiences) does not produce
faith. Instead, it produces doubt. Saying, “I can’t believe it” when something
good happens, actually shows doubt and not faith. Don’t say, “I know I was praying
for it, but I can’t believe it actually happened.” Instead, thank the Lord for His
blessing, which you expected, and continue on with faith. That was another
principle I would have never thought of on my own. I’m grateful for teachers
who study and teach with the Spirit.
I have
always appreciated the eloquence of a quote by Parley P. Pratt, ever since I
first heard my dad quote it when I was a teenager. I discovered it again in Doctrines
of the Gospel Student Manual. “An intelligent being, in the image of God,
possesses every organ, attribute, sense, sympathy, affection, that is possessed
by God himself…. These attributes are in embryo, and are to be gradually
developed. They resemble a bud, a germ, which gradually develops into bloom,
and then, by progress, produces the mature fruit after its own kind. The gift
of the Holy Ghost adapts itself to all these organs or attributes. It quickens
all the intellectual faculties, increases, enlarges, expands, and purifies all
the natural passions and affections, and adapts them, by the gift of wisdom, to
their lawful use. It inspires, develops, cultivates, and matures all the
fine-toned sympathies, joys, tastes, kindred feelings, and affections of our nature.
It inspires virtue, kindness, goodness, tenderness, gentleness, and charity….”
(Key to the Science of Theology, 61–62; quoted in
“The
Gift of the Holy Ghost,” Doctrines of
the Gospel Student Manual). I am grateful for these strengthening and enhancing
blessings.
In the video “Wrong Roads,” Jeffery R. Holland explains, “ There are times when the only way to get from A to C is by way of B…. Noting that the sun was going down, (he and his son) decided we better get back. But we came back to a particular fork in the road, really the only one, that at that point, was absolutely unrecognizable. I asked my son to pray about which road to take, and he felt strongly that we should go to the right.... I did as well, and we went to the right and it was a dead end. We went four or five or six hundred yards and it was an absolute dead end, clearly the wrong road. We turned around, came back out, took the other road, and clearly the road to the left was the correct road. Somewhere along the way, Matt said, ‘Dad, why did we feel, after praying about it, that the right road was the proper one to take, the correct one to take, and it wasn't?’ And I said, ‘I think that the Lord, His wish for us there, and his answer to our prayer was to get us on the right road as quickly as possible with some reassurance, with some understanding, that we were on the right road and we didn't have to worry about it. And, in this case, the easiest way to do that was to let us go 400 yards or 500 yards on the wrong road, and very quickly know, without a doubt, that it was the wrong road, and therefore with equal certainty with equal conviction that the other one was the right road.’ I have absolute certain knowledge, perfect knowledge, that God loves us. He is good, He is our Father, and He expects us to pray, and trust, and be believing, and not give up, and not panic, and not retreat, and not jump ship, when something doesn't seem to be going just right. We stay in, we keep working, we keep believing, keep trusting, following that same path and we will live to fall in His arms and feel His embrace and hear Him say, ‘I told you that it'd be okay, I told you it would be all right.’” I have been grateful for the times when my prayers have been answered in a similar way.
Richard G. Scott explained, “What do you do when you have
prepared carefully, have prayed fervently, waited a reasonable time for a
response, and still do not feel an answer? You may want to express thanks when
that occurs, for it is an evidence of His trust. When you are living worthily
and your choice is consistent with the Savior’s teachings and you need to act,
proceed with trust. … When you are living righteously and are acting with
trust, God will not let you proceed too far without a warning impression if you
have made the wrong decision” (“Using the Supernal Gift of Prayer,” Ensign, May 2007). I have
experienced this idea of moving forward unless I feel stopped by the Spirit,
rather than waiting for the Spirit to prompt me in every action.
Another
lesson came when I prayed for a stronger testimony of prophets and apostles in
the temple on a Tuesday evening. This was during a difficult time when I was still
sorting out my feelings around my family’s unbelief. I received an unmistakable
answer from the scriptures during Gospel Doctrine class that Sunday on May 9, 2016. “…the Spirit speaketh the truth and lieth
not. Wherefore, it speaketh of things as they really are, and of things as they really will be; wherefore, these
things are manifested unto us plainly, for the
salvation of our souls. But behold, we are not witnesses alone in these things;
for God also spake them unto
prophets…” (Jacob
4:13). I attached this note to the verse in Gospel Library, “We can know of
a surety that prophets and seers speak truth by the second witness of the
Spirit who we can always trust to testify of truth.” I will end with a basic spiritual
lesson I’ve learned. Repetition in the gospel is a good thing because it helps
us know what we need to focus on most. When I notice repeated words in scriptures,
like “remember, remember” or when I notice repeated themes in General Conference
talks, I have learned to pay attention, rather than tune them out because they
may seem redundant. That lesson has served me well time and time again.
Wednesday, August 12, 2020
Chapter 32: Family History Fun (part 3)
I was asked to give a
second presentation to the youth on the blessings of family history and temple
work on December 30, 2018. In that presentation, I repeated what I already
shared above. I also brought one of my white 2” binders to show them how I keep these
ancestors in my thoughts. When I print out the cards, I print out an extra page
and put it in a page protector. Then I can write down how I’m related to them
or comments that I have about my temple experiences with them. And my favorite
part is when I can staple the completed card back into that binder. It helps
them to feel more real to me and it reminds me that each card represents an
actual person, a child of God just like us. During a sealing session earlier
that month, I looked into the mirrors on each side of that beautiful room and pondered
what I would share with the youth. Gerrit W. Gong gave voice to my thoughts, “Together the temple mirrors reflect back and
forth images that stretch seemingly into eternity” (“Temple
Mirrors of Eternity: A Testimony of Family,” Ensign, Nov. 2010). Quentin
L Cook explained, “These reflected images help us contemplate parents,
grandparents, and all previous generations. They help us recognize the sacred
covenants that connect us to all generations that follow” (“See
Yourself in the Temple,” Ensign, May 2016).
David
A. Bednar taught, “As members of Christ’s restored Church, we have the covenant
responsibility to search out our ancestors and provide for them the saving
ordinances of the gospel. ‘For their salvation is necessary and essential to
our salvation, as Paul says concerning the fathers—that they without us cannot
be made perfect—neither can we without our dead be made perfect.’ (Doctrine and Covenants 128:15). For these reasons we
do family history research, build temples, and perform vicarious ordinances” (“The
Hearts of the Children Shall Turn,” Ensign, Nov. 2011). Joseph Smith taught, “Herein is the
chain that binds the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the children to
the fathers, which fulfills the mission of Elijah” (“Becoming
Saviors on Mount Zion,” Teachings of the Presidents of the Church:
Joseph Smith, 473). Quentin L. Cook explained, “The combination of
increased numbers of temples and advanced technology to fulfill our sacred family
history responsibilities for our ancestors makes this the most blessed time in
all history. You are literally among the prophesied saviors on Mount Zion” (“See
Yourself in the Temple,” Ensign, May 2016). In other words, as we
perform vicarious ordinances for our ancestors, we do something for them that
they cannot do for themselves. This is symbolic of the way our Savior saved
each of us from sin and death through His atoning sacrifice, which is something
none of us could do for ourselves. It is the way He allows us to help in His work
of salvation for each child of God. I’m so grateful for this opportunity we’ve
been given to serve others in such an important way.
One evening in February 2019, I was sitting in the baptistry waiting for some ordinances to be completed. I normally tried not to stay at the temple into the evenings because it detracted from family time at home. However, this time I felt prompted to stay and I texted my husband to let him know that I would be home as soon as I could. I then went out to the desk to ask for more blue and pink papers to attach to each set of five male and female cards for baptisms and confirmations. The man at the desk noticed that my family names were from the Netherlands and asked if any were from Germany. I replied that one family line married into a German line. He just happened be a professor at BYU who specialized in family history with an emphasis in Germanic names. He asked if I would be able to share some with him and several students who were planning to participate in a “German night” at the baptistry. He explained that on the evening of April 3rd, all the ordinances would be performed in German for ancestors from Germany. I agreed to try to find some names for them. So I spent the next few weeks following several lines and was able to supply him with more than enough. They ended up completing a little over 200 baptisms that night. I felt compelled to finish the rest of them, so I sat in the baptistry (most of that time shivering by the font) for six hours the following Tuesday to complete 200 more female baptisms, along with waiting for 60 more male baptisms to be completed. I learned that if I released those names to have the initiatories completed by temple patrons, they would often be finished very quickly. Then I reserved many of them again to complete the endowment and sealing. After this set of events, I watched the initiatories being completed over several days in real time - each time I refreshed the screen on Family Search. I was so grateful for the miracle that Heavenly Father provided to allow so many to begin on the covenant path prior to Easter. I love the song "Risen" written by Shawna Belt Edwards. One of the lines says that Jesus "set the captives free." I felt that powerfully during this experience. I am in awe at what God can do with a willing heart, hands, and feet. He magnifies our relatively small offerings in often unexpected and miraculous ways. My family history work increased exponentially after that.
Over the past two
years, many kind people have been willing to help me with the growing number of
ordinances. I have needed the most help with endowments, since they take the
longest. Their selfless service has allowed me to continue working on baptisms
and sealings – almost exclusively. I love the opportunity that gives me to begin
and end the process with most of the ancestors I have found. When I share my temple cards with people who are
willing to help me, I tell them about my grandma who came to America from the
Netherlands. I hope it helps them to feel even more purpose as they help with
the work. One friend asked if she could send some cards to her parents and
adult brother who live in Idaho. Her brother has some emotional struggles and
he found purpose in helping me with those endowments, which felt like a win-win
situation. My previous academic advisor at UVU who has become a dear friend has
also helped me with a large number of endowments and the youth in her stake completed
many baptisms during a youth conference. I was in an endowment session at the
Mt. Timpanogos Temple one evening and noticed a couple who had previously moved
from our ward. It was a large session, so I went back and talked to the woman
while we were waiting to go through the veil. She and her husband stopped by
our house later that week and picked up some endowment cards as well. A couple
in our ward who served as full-time stake missionaries have been very helpful. They
texted me a picture of a poem on August 4, 2019. The poem was written by
Don L. Searle and is titled “One Holy Moment.” They wrote, “This poem reminds
me of the feelings we have when we take your names to the temple. Thank you.”
Here is the part that was most meaningful to me:
Born in different centuries,
You and I, an ocean apart,
And half a continent.
Never would our lives touch
But for this holy moment.
In a temple of our God…
Did you know joy in your years?
I hope you know it now,
As our lives touch
In this sacred moment,
My one brief chance to serve.
Would that I could reach a hand
Across two hundred years,
Or put an arm across a shoulder
To tell you what I feel…
Because I graduated with my
associate degree from UVU in November 2019, I had some extra time that I could
spend in the temple before our grandson was born in January 2020. So, as my
Christmas gift to Jesus, I made a goal to spend as many days as possible in the
Provo Temple before it was closed for Christmas. During that time, I talked
more often with an older woman who was retired and never been married. She lived
near the temple and spent each day there doing work for other people. She specifically
focused on sealings and we ended up in many sessions together. One day, she
offered to help me with some of my sealings and I was so grateful. I brought 30
cards for her and she finished them in one day. I couldn’t believe it! She
offered to do more for me over the Christmas holiday, since she would be going
to the Provo City Center Temple, and gave me her home address. During those two
weeks, I continued to prepare more names for sealings. Initially, I drove to
her house and clipped 65 cards to the side of her mailbox near the front door. Again,
she completed them in two or three days! That process miraculously repeated two
more times during the Christmas holiday. Meanwhile, I attended the Mt.
Timpanogos Temple while the Provo Temple was closed. I was in a few sealing
sessions with a man who regularly served in that temple also. He saw how many
names I was trying to complete over several sessions and asked if he could
help. I left a few cards with him and he finished them that day. A few days
later, he walked into another of my sealing sessions and I was so happy to see
him. He also wrote down his P.O. box number and gave it to me. I started
sending him sealing cards as well and he completed approximately 200 sealings over
the next three months, which was another miraculous gift.
When the Provo Temple opened again
in January, I was so grateful for the chance to thank my sweet temple friend in
person. She said she felt kind of burned out, which was very understandable, so
I wasn’t planning to give any more cards to her. Remember the older man I met
in the temple cafeteria who completed seven endowments for me in April 2018? A
few months before the Christmas break, I saw him again in the sealing area. I
was really grateful for the chance to thank him in person after a year of
wondering if our paths would ever cross again. From that time on, whenever he
was in a session with me, he would take a few of my cards, so that I could go
home to my family a little earlier than I had planned. (He decided that he was needed
more in the sealing rooms, so he started to only do two endowment sessions,
instead of three, each day. Then he would end each day of service by participating
in five or six sealing sessions.) When he found out that my other temple friend
was feeling burned out, he offered to help also. That was a relief to the
friend who felt burned out and she decided she could help me after all. They
became a dynamic duo. I continued to prepare names at home and brought 100 or
200 cards at a time to the temple. When I saw one of them, I gave them the
cards and then they divided them up. I was in awe at how many completion
notifications I received from Family Search each evening. They miraculously completed
each set of cards within about a week each time. When the temples closed on March
14th due to the COVID-19 pandemic, they had completed a combined
total of 1,750 sealings. (That number is in addition to the 195 my first friend
completed during Christmas holiday. It also doesn’t include the children they
helped seal to parents or the names they helped me with while I was serving in
the sessions with them.) I’m convinced they were sent to me as angels to help
me complete a work that was far too overwhelming and basically impossible for
me to do alone in that amount of time.
About three months into the
quarantine, I sent out texts to many of the people who helped with my temple
work during the previous two years to thank them once again for their selfless
service. On June 10th, I received another reply text from the couple in our
ward who previously served as stake missionaries. It said, “We have appreciated
the opportunity of taking names to the temple, especially since my ancestry on
one side is Dutch. A couple years ago you indicated you felt the need to get
these names done. Possibly a forewarning about the forthcoming closure of the
temples?...” I replied, “I absolutely know that I felt the urgency because the
Lord knew the temples would be closing for a while. I’m so grateful he sent me
earth angels like both of you to help with that miracle.” This whole experience
reminded me that a definition of Zion is being of “one heart and one mind” (see
Moses
7:18) and it is built by people who serve selflessly with Christlike love. I
am grateful for the privilege of being surrounded by people with those
qualities. One of the last lines of my patriarchal blessing says, “As you help
to gather genealogy, you will become a savior on Mt. Zion and will be a great
blessing to those who have passed on beyond the veil. When you leave this earth
there will be a great reunion with your ancestors who will be glad to receive
you because of your work in their behalf.” As I mentioned earlier, I never thought
this was even a real possibility before Family Search sent me the notification
for that first ancestor in January 2018. This experience has truly shown me
that with God, nothing is impossible (see Luke
1:37).
Tuesday, August 11, 2020
Chapter 32: Family History Fun (part 2)
I'm
still not finished with this chapter, so I'm going to post this and continue
working on it tomorrow.
Miracles
and divine intersections continued regularly during the following two years. On
April 5, 2018, my sister in North Carolina found an entire family of our
ancestors when she followed up on a notification for Cornelia Driesprong (2nd cousin
of our grandma’s dad) that Family Search sent her daughter in February. The
temple closest to my sister was now closed for long-term renovations, so I
reserved the work for the Driesprong family. The next day, on April 6th, my mom
forwarded a notification to me that Family Search sent her back in March for
Jansje Cornelia Kruidenier (4th cousin of our grandma’s dad).
As I looked at her family members, I noticed that all of her mom’s temple work
had been completed in 1961, except for her being sealed to her parents. So
that's how I found her parents, Pieter van der Wel and Maria den Boer, who also
needed all of their work done. So I reserved the work for the Kruidenier family,
along with their grandparents. That meant I could do the baptism and
confirmation of a grandma at the same time as several of her granddaughters. I
printed out all of those cards and invited one of my walking friends to go with
me to begin the temple work for these families the next day on April 7th.
I
returned to the Provo Temple on April 12, 2018 to do the initiatories for these
female ancestors. After I arrived, I met a kind woman at the initiatory desk
who offered to help me complete half of them. Because of that, I also had time
to do one of the endowments, and I ended up sitting by that same kind woman
during the session. I looked her up later on Facebook and sent her a message.
We decided to meet at the Provo Temple again the following week, so we could
get to know each other better. I went a couple of hours early on April 19th to
wait in the baptistry for the male ordinances to be completed. Then I asked a
kind man to take those completed cards into the male dressing room, so the initiatories
could possibly be completed while I was in the endowment session. When my
friend arrived, we went to the cafeteria to visit while we ate lunch prior to
the endowment session. As I waited for her at a table, I noticed an older man
sitting in the corner of the cafeteria and I felt prompted to go over and talk
with him. I explained that seven of my male temple cards were in the men’s
dressing room and I wasn’t sure if the work was actually being done or not. He
understood my plight. Since he was almost finished with his meal, he would
check to see if they were completed. If they weren’t, he promised he would do
them for me. I was very grateful for his kindness. He came back a few minutes
later with the completed cards. He then surprised me by explaining that he
spent every day in the temple and completed three endowment sessions each day.
This was a Thursday and he said he could have those cards completed for me by
Saturday. I immediately jumped up and gave him a big hug, before I realized
that it may not have been appropriate. He laughed and said he would take a hug
like that anytime, just like he would from a granddaughter. I was overcome with
joy in that moment and felt extremely grateful for this obvious divine
intersection.
True
to his word, the endowments were completed by Saturday afternoon. As soon as
the notification appeared on Family Search, I gathered the other cards I had
been working on during the previous two weeks and drove to the temple to help
complete the sealings. President Freestone was the sealer that day, which made
the experience even more sacred. (Our families know each other and I didn’t
realize that he had become a sealer on the day before my birthday in February –
which is when this journey began for me. He and his wife now have a special
place in my heart). I briefly shared the experiences that brought me to that
session and he commented later on how contagious my enthusiasm was. Over the
following year, I occasionally asked Heavenly Father to bless that kind man who
helped to complete those seven male endowments for me. I wondered if our paths
would ever cross again, since he was there each day and my time at the temple
had increased. That time would come later.
I was asked to give a presentation
to the youth in our ward on the blessings of temple and family history work.
That presentation occurred on May 20, 2018 and I was grateful to have the
experiences of the previous month to share with them. I also used a Conference
talk by Dale G. Renlund as my theme. He explained, “When God directs us to do
one thing, He often has many purposes in mind. Family history and temple work
is not only for the dead but blesses the living as well…. We (can) identify our
own ancestors who died without receiving the ordinances of salvation. We can
perform the ordinances vicariously in temples, and our ancestors may choose to
accept the ordinances. We are also encouraged to help ward and stake
members with their family names. It is… amazing that, through family history and
temple work, we can help to redeem the dead. But as we participate in family
history and temple work today, we also lay claim to ‘healing’ blessings…. This
long list includes these blessings: increased understanding of the Savior and
His atoning sacrifice; increased influence of the Holy Ghost to feel
strength and direction for our own lives; increased faith, so that conversion
to the Savior becomes deep and abiding; …increased joy through an increased
ability to feel the love of the Lord; …increased love and appreciation for
ancestors and living relatives, so we no longer feel alone; …increased
protection from… the intensifying influence of the adversary; and increased
assistance to mend troubled, broken, or anxious hearts and make the wounded
whole. If you have prayed for any of these blessings, participate in family
history and temple work. As you do so, your prayers will be answered” (“Family History and Temple Work: Sealing and Healing,” Ensign,
May 2018).
He
continued, “When ordinances are performed on behalf of the deceased, God’s
children on earth are healed. No wonder President Russell M. Nelson, in
his first message as President of the Church, declared, ‘Your worship in the
temple and your service there for your ancestors will bless you with increased
personal revelation and peace and will fortify your commitment to stay on the
covenant path.’ An earlier prophet also foresaw blessings for both the living
and the dead. A heavenly messenger showed Ezekiel a vision of a temple
with water gushing out of it…. Two characteristics of the water are noteworthy.
First, …meaningful growth occurs going backward and forward through the
generations as sealing ordinances weld families together. Second, the river
renewed everything that it touched. The blessings of the temple likewise have a
stunning capacity to heal. Temple blessings can heal hearts and lives and
families” (“Family History and Temple Work: Sealing and Healing,” Ensign,
May 2018).
I
feel like the blessings of the temple have made every part of my life better.
It hasn’t solved all my problems, but it has given me strength to deal with
them better. Each time I complete the temple ordinances for an ancestor, I
believe they become another angel that can help strengthen me and my family
when life is difficult. Temple work is an amazing kind of service because
the people who have died can’t do this work themselves. So we are literally
helping Christ to save them. He has the power to do it all on His own, but he
allows us to help Him. I shared with the youth how the temple helps us grow up
in a more spiritual way. This scripture passage explains what I mean, “…Do thou
grant, Holy Father, that all those who shall worship in this house….may grow up
in thee, and receive a fulness of the Holy Ghost… and be prepared to obtain
every needful thing” (Doctrine and Covenants 109:14-15). Dale G.
Renlund concluded, “President Russell M. Nelson, however, cautioned: ‘We
can be inspired all day long about temple and family history experiences others
have had. But we must do something to actually experience the joy ourselves.’
He continued, ‘I invite you to prayerfully consider what kind of
sacrifice—preferably a sacrifice of time—you can make [to] do more temple and
family history work’” (“Family History and Temple Work: Sealing and Healing,” Ensign,
May 2018). I thought I wouldn’t ever be able to figure out how to do
family history work, but I’ve been so grateful that Heavenly Father
knew exactly what was needed and provided a way through these miraculous
experiences.
Sunday, August 9, 2020
Chapter 32: Family History Fun
It is important, for many reasons, to know where you came from. One of those reasons is the strength of your ancestors, and the way they overcame challenges, can strengthen you.
One of my ancestors is Lijntje van Wijnen. She is my maternal grandma. When she was five years old, she sailed to America from Rotterdam, South Holland in the Netherlands. She made the trip with her recently widowed mom and they arrived at Ellis Island in New York on January 2, 1923. At that time, her name was changed to Lena Van Wynen. She and her mom boarded a train and traveled to Ogden, Utah. The missionary who baptized her parents a few years earlier met them there. She eventually married my grandpa, Lowell Carter Burns. My mom is their only daughter, born between four older and two younger brothers. I am my mom’s oldest daughter. I lived with my Grandma Burns for a semester when I attended Weber State College in 1990. I still feel a special bond with her.
Genealogical research is a priority of The
Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Their online program, Family Search,
is an amazing tool for family history research. Prior to that, my paternal grandma
worked tirelessly on the genealogy for her side of the family and recorded it on
long horizontal family group sheets. However, very little work had been done my
maternal line. I always thought family history work was basically impossible
for me and I never completed any work other than a four generation pedigree sheet
on both sides of my family.
In
January 2018, I was still trying to write this book, but it became too
overwhelming. So I decided to just work on it as my personal history instead. During
that same time, my parents were preparing to serve another mission. One evening,
my mom showed me some treasures she found while going through boxes. They
included her mom’s journal, several important documents, old letters, and some
pictures. My mom allowed me to take them home so I could look at them more
closely. I immediately began typing a copy of the handwritten pages from my
grandma’s journal. She wrote less than 20 pages and it ended after their first
child was born. I was fascinated with what she had written, though, and was grateful to learn a little more about
her early life. At the end of January, I received an email notification from Family
Search letting me know that temple work still needed to be completed for an
ancestor named Jaapje Buitelaar. She is the maternal fourth cousin of my Grandma
Burns. I usually just disregarded those notices, but I felt different this
time. I clicked on the link, printed out a temple card for her, and that was
the first step in my family history journey.
Meanwhile, my sister had been doing family
history work for a while. She lived in North Carolina at that time and the
temple closest to them would be closing for long-term renovations shortly. When
I told her about my unexpected change of heart, she asked if I would be willing
to finish the temple work for 13 remaining ancestors. I agreed and invited my
mom to help me. So we went to the Mt. Timpanogos Temple on my birthday the next
week. I was recovering from a cold, but I thought it would be neat to have my birth date
stamped on all 14 of those cards (for Jaapje and the 13 my sister transferred
to me). My nieces had acted as proxy for the baptisms and confirmations of
these 13 ancestors. So my mom and I acted as proxy for the initiatory ordinance
of each one. The initiatory is a beautiful ordinance, which takes place prior
to the endowment. It is a much shorter ordinance, so more can be done at one
time. My
mom and I had to wait two different times, but we were each able to do the
initiatories for seven ancestors. It
was a memorable and sacred experience for both of us, in addition to being a great way to celebrate
my 46th birthday. I returned to the temple on February 8th
to be proxy for Jaapje’s endowment, which was also a very special experience.
Later in February 2018, I wrote the following partial entry
in my journal. “I've recently become painfully aware of my human weakness as
I’ve continued to visit with people over the past few weeks. So I have been
prompted to shift my focus to compiling my personal history and working on my
family history and temple work. I'm hoping I will make less mistakes with the
dead than I have with the living. However, it's a miracle that someone who has
struggled as much as I have with depression and social anxiety was able to
visit as much as I did in the first place. God did way more with that
experience than I could have ever done on my own. I'm so grateful for the
opportunities he gave me to try to help and lift others in my very small way.” I
discussed three of those divine intersections with Janell, her half-sister and
niece in chapter 24. I accompanied Janell’s niece to complete her initiatory
and endowment on May 12, 2015. Since that time, I met her niece for lunch on
several different occasions, but she never felt ready to help seal Janell and
her husband, along with sealing their two children to them. (Even though Dee and Janell weren’t active in the
church, they did have their children’s temple work done after each of their
tragic deaths.) I was anxious to
participate in that sealing because it felt like the beginning of the happy
ending for their family, since they are all now together after 20 years of separation.
However, I knew it needed to be on their relative’s timetable, not mine.
Several miracles occurred shortly after I wrote that
bittersweet journal entry. Janell's niece visited me spontaneously on the afternoon
of February 20th to deliver an invitation to her upcoming civil wedding.
She explained that she had already waited too long to help seal Janell’s family,
she handed me the temple cards, and asked me to do it in her behalf. I could
not believe it! I was so honored for the privilege and opportunity she had literally
just handed me. I was already planning to help seal Jaapje to her husband the
next day and I was so grateful for the chance to help with this important
sealing in the same session. I remember praying that our house wouldn't burn
down while we slept or that I wouldn't get in a wreck on the way to the
temple... because I had been waiting for this day since Janell’s niece completed
her endowment almost five years before.
I made it safely to the Mt. Timpanogos Temple the next
morning. I acted as proxy for Jaapje as she was sealed to Jacobus Borstlap. Then
I had the privilege of being proxy for Janell as she was sealed to Dee in the
same session. Immediately after their sealing, I had the privilege of being proxy
for their daughter, as I helped seal her and her older brother to Dee and
Janell in the next ordinance. I cried tears of joy through all three
ordinances. I wondered if Janell and Dee were permitted to watch the ordinances
from where they were in the next life and I hoped they knew how much I love
them. Toward the end of the session, I thought I heard a voice in my mind that
said, “Hi Wendi Bird,” which is a reference from Peter Pan and it's what
Dee used to say to me when I came over to walk with Janell. (In case that wasn’t
enough of a tender mercy, right after I heard Dee’s voice in my mind, someone
with the last name of Darling was sealed – that was Wendy's last name in Peter
Pan!) I hadn't thought of that nickname in a long time. I took it as a sign
that they were happy and accepting of my gift to them and their children. I am
looking forward to the day when I can see them in the next life. I feel very
connected to their family now. I kept alternating between a big grin and tears for
many hours following the sealing session.
I remember feeling like
I could finally be at peace about Janell for the first time since the Monday
after Easter 2014 when I found out she passed away. Another interesting side
note is that Jaapje and Jacobus had a son named Cornelis. Cornelis married
Maria de Groot and I printed out a temple card for her just three weeks after
our daughter told us she was pregnant in May 2019. The interesting thing about
that is DeGroot is the last name of our grandson and his father. I just noticed
that recently and it was another sweet moment when I was reminded that God is
aware of me and my circumstances.
I also had the opportunity to attend the wedding of
Janell’s niece just two days later on February 23rd. It was a very
snowy day and I wondered if it was worth attending as my car slipped and slid
through the snow on my drive to the Provo city courthouse. She asked me to be
one of the witnesses when I arrived, so she now has a marriage certificate with
my signature on it. After the ceremony, I joined her, her two cute kids, her
new husband, and several other family members at Pizza Factory for lunch
afterward. That gave me the opportunity to talk with Janell’s half-sister for
the first time in quite a while. I was grateful that I made the effort to support
their family. I visited with my good friend who was the Relief Society president
during my experience with Janell. I explained to her again how I thought I was
in Janell’s life to save her life, but I was so confused when she died. This
friend explained to me that I actually was in her life to help the Savior save
her in my small way. I am grateful for the miracles that have occurred to help
all of this happen in God's perfect timing. I know that Heavenly Father works
miracles in our lives. I’m very grateful that He allows us to help in these
miracles that we could never make happen ourselves. I know that the greatest miracle
of all is the atonement of Jesus Christ. I'm so grateful for His mercy and
grace. I know that we can have “more freedom from earth stains” as we partake
of the sacrament and attend the temple.












