- This is how I filled out the questionnaire the host of the podcast sent yesterday afternoon:
1. Tell me a little bit about yourself, so that I can introduce you on the podcast. (Ex: where you have lived, worked, passions, awards, family, creative endeavors or personal interests important things to you). This is a little bio of sorts. Please write in the third person and keep it to five sentences or less.
Wendi grew up in Palmyra, New York; Orem, Utah; Tallahassee, Florida; and Longmont, Colorado. She has been married to John for a quarter of a century. They are the parents of two adult children and grandparents to a very loved baby grandson. She enjoys walking and talking with friends and family, taking pictures in nature, and spending time with her grandson.
2. What is an interesting little known fact about you?
My Tetris skills help me with closet and drawer organization. :)
3. Please share with me some of the “hard times” you have experienced and would like to share on the podcast.
* I have struggled with clinical depression for most of my life. My actual diagnosis is Bipolar 2 Disorder, which is heavy on depression interspersed with periods of elevated mood called hypomania. Along with that, I have struggled with social anxiety, which made it very difficult to leave my house for several years. I also have overlapping challenges with generalized anxiety, perfectionism, and some obsessive compulsive tendencies.
* I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in January 2013. My right side has different levels of loss of feeling and discomfort from my ribs to my toes. My “uniform” has become heavy skinny jeans and very supportive sneakers. When I wear that combination, I have less discomfort and can walk without limping.
* My husband and adult children no longer believe in the same way I do and no longer participate with me in organized religion. However, they continue to be some of the best people I know. This unexpected circumstance has caused some ongoing dissonance and loneliness in my life since August 2012.
* Our children both had some medical conditions, which ended up triggering long-term emotional distress for me. Our son was in the NICU for the first 10 days of his life. Our daughter suffered from epilepsy during her growing up years, which required me to stay in the hospital with her for almost two weeks on two different occasions.
4. What were the top 3-5 lessons you learned during your "hard times?” (You can list more than 5 if you want).
* Comparing my life, accomplishments, or progress with others often causes discouragement and self-doubt.
* We each have different strengths and weaknesses that give us the ability to influence, contribute, serve, love, empathize, and connect with people in unique and important ways.
* Perfectionism isn’t the same thing as perfection. It causes unnecessary suffering in the form of stress, shame, and guilt while trying to achieve the impossible.
* Walking in the fresh air and sunshine can help almost any problem seem a little more manageable. The act of moving your body and choosing to put one foot in front of the other is an effective way to change the direction of your thoughts—and eventually your life.
* Focusing on “small or something,” instead of “all or nothing” is helpful when feeling immobilized by anxiety, depression, or perfectionism. Breaking large problems into smaller ones or choosing to just “do the next right thing” is a powerful way to cope with feeling overwhelmed.
* Mental illness is not a character flaw and when we talk about it more with others, we can lessen the stigma surrounding it, along with understanding that it affects many more people than we realize.
5. How have you changed or what have you done differently because of your challenges?
* I gradually learned to face my fear of leaving the house by walking to nearby destinations each day—to shop for a few items or run small errands.
* After that, I continued learning to overcome my social anxiety by going out of my way to visit over 500 women. In the process, I was able to help several who also suffered with depression and anxiety. I also found some dear friends who have been an uplifting and supportive influence in my life.
* Those activities built enough confidence in myself to return to college and earn an associate degree at Utah Valley University when my daughter started attending there after high school graduation. I was never able to take more than 6-9 credits each semester, but I rarely missed class and learned to turn in homework assignments early (unlike the first time as a young adult when I was often immobilized by anxiety and depression).
* It also gave me the courage to move to a new home that we built to better fit my needs for MS. We lived in a four-level-split for over 18 years, but it became too difficult for me to climb stairs several time each day. So we built a home across town with main-level living and room to accommodate possible future wheelchair needs. Because of that, we have a place for our daughter and grandson to live in our basement.
* I am still trying to learn how to self-comfort, instead of self-criticize. Showing compassion for others in their difficult circumstances is much easier for me than extending that same compassion to myself.
6. Do you have a favorite Bible verse that you would like to share that became meaningful to you during your difficulty?
* Philippians 4:13 ~ “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”
(That verse has helped me develop self-confidence and the strength to overcome anxiety and discouragement.)
* Proverbs 3:5-6 ~ “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”
(Those verses have helped me better cope with difficult circumstances that have been confusing and overwhelming in life.)
7. Are there websites, books, music or other resources you would recommend to someone in a similar circumstance?
The music and especially lyrics of Hilary Weeks (an inspirational, Christian singer) has become a type of soundtrack to my journey. In addition to her many CDs, she now has an inexpensive subscription program called “
Live All In” where she releases a new song with additional material each month. More than anything else, her music helps interrupt the downward spiral of my thoughts and begins to replace them with more uplifting thoughts.
8. Do you want to be able to have people contact you after the show? (Ex: on a website or on Facebook if they really connect with you and your story). If yes, please share your contact information.
If people wanted to contact me, my writing blog is “Wend Your Way.” I’m not currently posting on it, but it includes many of Hilary Weeks’ lyrics, along with experiences and lessons I’ve learned during my journey. People could leave a comment with their contact information there.
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After listening to 2.5 episodes of her podcast last night and this morning, I decided to post several updates—so there will be more than just half-finished book chapters on this blog. It has been very soothing to the anticipatory anxiety I was starting to feel about the upcoming interview, which will be on Wednesday morning.
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This is the "head shot" I sent
(my husband took it down by the Ashton's house on one of our walks a few months ago)
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This is the picture I wish I could have sent.
It was taken of me and our grandson at the beginning of August. |
