Showing posts with label spirituality. Show all posts
Showing posts with label spirituality. Show all posts

Friday, October 9, 2020

Recording the "great things" God has done

I spent about eight hours posting these eleven posts today. I was wondering if I had just been completely obsessive, but then I remembered 3 Nephi 23:9-14

11 And Jesus said unto them: How be it that ye have not written this thing, that many saints did arise and appear unto many and did minister unto them

12 And it came to pass that Nephi remembered that this thing had not been written

13 And it came to pass that Jesus commanded that it should be written; therefore it was written according as he commanded.


The things I wrote were some of the "great things" that God has done for me over the past six weeks

I planned to not post anymore after the first draft of the book was finished, but it felt like important work to do in preparation for the podcast interview on Wednesday morning. 

I posted the four thought downloads I sent my life coach between Saturday morning (before General Conference began) and Wednesday evening (prior to our session on Thursday afternoon). 

I made four separate posts of the details about my four spiritual experiences that pierced through the darkness of the past six weeks


Plus, a few posts about corresponding with a potential new therapist (we have a preliminary phone call on Monday afternoon) and preparing for the podcast. 

Unexpected invitation and God's timing

Yesterday afternoon, I was unexpectedly invited to be a guest on the "Stories of Hope in Hard Times" podcast. The text from Tamara K. Anderson came as I was having a Zoom call with my life coach yesterday afternoon. 

  • I explained in my reply: 

We were discussing how my faith in Jesus Christ can help me learn to see myself as He does and how my value isn't connected to my productivity or my challenges. I just surfaced from a few weeks of a difficult depression, so if your text had come a day earlier, I probably wouldn't have had the courage to accept your invitation. Thank you for the opportunity to try to be helpful to your listeners. I didn't write much from a spiritual angle, but I can talk more about that if you would like me to.


  • This is how Tamara described her podcast in the follow-up email: 

"My goal is to spread hope, especially to those who are exhausted and overwhelmed right now in their trials. More than anything I want people to glean a glimmer of hope as they listen. Hopefully they will leave uplifted and with the idea that 'if they could do that, I can hang in there a bit longer in my trials.'"


  • I sent her the completed questionnaire and "head shot" yesterday evening and she responded this morning:
I am so glad you accepted. As I was praying about who I should invite to be on the podcast yesterday, I felt I was supposed to invite you…so, God is in the details. I can’t wait for next week.

  • This is the reply I just sent:
Thanks, Tamara. I believe in prayer and God's timing. I'm continuing to learn how timing is an important detail ("tender mercy") when our prayers are answered. It helps us know He is aware of us in a more intimate way

I wrote several long "thought downloads" to my life coach beginning on Saturday (before General Conference) and ending Wednesday evening. The combination of ten hours of General Conference, lots of prayer, and emptying out my brain like that are the reasons I finally pulled out of my depression. I had to put away my book on September 17th after several revisions of parts 1-3 because it was just making the situation worse. 

I had the chance to walk and talk with two dear friends on the Friday before and the Monday after General Conference. I hadn't seen either of them during the previous weeks of depression. Then my younger sister "just happened" to drive here from Colorado a day earlier than planned on Wednesday night and we walked and talked yesterday morning. 

She is my only sister and is one of my dearest friends. She understands and loves me completely, even though she knows all the less than positive things about me and my life. I read the thought download emails to her toward the end of our walk. As she was leaving, she said that she thinks I didn't have a mental block or a "nervous breakdown" over my book--she thinks there is just more of my journey that will need to be included before I can finish it. I had never thought of it that way and it gave me hope. Writing is very difficult for me and it doesn't come naturally. It helped me to not feel like I failed at something I worked so hard on after all. 

After listening to a couple of your podcast episodes, I decided to post those thought downloads on my blog today. 

Your invitation came at precisely the right time. God prepared me to be able to say yes--and gave me time to be introspective, which may help us talk about what most needs to be said for your listeners during the interview. I will continue to be prayerful between now and then.

***

One other side note: Tamara is the cousin-in-law of my good friend. My friend, her children, brother, and parents have all helped me with many temple ordinances. I am so grateful to her and them. She sent me this text on July 2nd: 

"I was just talking to my cousin's wife who does a podcast on having hope during hard times. She asked if I had anyone I thought she should interview and I sent her your number because I think you are amazing and articulate. So if you hear from Tamara Anderson it's my fault."

My friend is a BYU English professor, so that is high praise coming from someone who is as amazing and articulate as she is. 

I thought Tamara would never contact me and I hadn't thought of it since that text. So, here we are a little over three months later. 

God's timing. I'm so grateful for how he orchestrates so much behind the scenes to bless each of us. 

Piecing events together (third thought download to my life coach on October 7, 2020)

  • Here is what I'm piecing together as I look back on the past six months (edited for this blog): 
Back toward the beginning of our coaching, I expressed disappointment in my prayers and how I felt like I had to gear up for prayer, like it was an event. I basically stopped praying on my knees in the bathroom before going to bed and just kept praying in my mind. But then my mind started not functioning as well. I was looking more and more to coaching sources for answers because I was trying so hard to make progress with our coaching experience. That meant I spent less time on truth from God's sources—although I think coaching and the gospel can complement each other in a beautiful way. 

During that time, I also felt strongly prompted to start writing my book—and made more progress than I have ever made before. I really do believe that I was receiving magnifying and enabling help from heaven. So I spent a little over two months focusing on that project almost exclusively. I stopped watching the "Don't Miss This" videos, which was how I was studying for Come Follow Me, and didn't spend much time in the scriptures—other than searching them and Ensign articles for verses and quotes that inspired the journey I was writing about in my book. I think that's why I was so confused and eventually defeated when my husband kept telling me I couldn't quote them nearly as much as I was. 

Meanwhile, there were no ongoing temple ordinances or refuge from the storm that I found within the temple walls—which used to occur several times each week. There was no more family history (which was effectively turning my office into a temple), institute classes (twice a week for the previous year), church family, or friends strengthening me (except for a handful of walks with my friends—when it used to be 2-3 times weekly). There was just an occasional walk or talk with my ministering sister (who is on her own confusing journey after two years of crisis and turmoil surrounding a difficult situation.) It was just me in a house full of people who don't believe in ways that are supportive to my faith. No ministering brothers (except for one or two texts), no family members I could trust with my emotional or spiritual health (except for my sister and it's hard to figure out a time to talk on the phone), no priesthood blessings, no outside guidance—other than coaching, coaching podcasts, and Instagram. 

The bishop gave my husband authorization to administer the sacrament to me, but he doesn't believe, so he couldn't ever say anything spiritually uplifting. So my church was just listening to "In Humility, Our Savior" by Hilary Weeks while I got myself and our bedroom ready to be a place of sacramental worship. Sometimes, prior to that, I listened to "Broken" by Kenneth Cope (along with a few other EFY songs) while I was taking a shower before getting ready. Therefore, my last lifelines to spirituality were the music and lyrics of Kenneth Cope and Hilary Weeks—I wasn't listening much to her other music because I needed to focus while writing my book. Then I had that complication with Hilary giving permission to use the lyrics in my book after all. And my communication with Kenneth was also very unsettling, although he tried to be supportive. They don't actually know me in real life, though, so that isn't their fault. I think that communication with them ended up being the last crushing blows to the small shred of spirituality and self-confidence I had left. I used to listen to hymns by Vocal Point in my car, but I have driven my car only a handful of times in the past seven months. 

The overarching theme has been that my husband has felt more stress and pressure than he's experienced in 15 years because of the complications to his two jobs by COVID-19, while also trying to earn his master's degree online. He needed more than I could give in support and he had very little energy to give me much support in my challenges. Meanwhile, therapy and coaching were becoming more and more heavy and draining—and, suddenly, all the self-introspection brought self-hate and self-doubt rushing to the surface. Then I started watching our grandson part-time, which left me sleep deprived and emotionally unstable. 

I read these verses in 3 Nephi 18:18-20 last night and again this morning: "Ye must watch and pray always lest ye enter into temptation; for Satan desireth to have you, that he may sift you as wheat. Therefore, ye must always pray unto the Father in my name; And whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in my name, which is right, believing that ye shall receive, behold it shall be given unto you." 

One of the reasons I have avoided those verses in the past is the one that follows them in verse 21: "Pray in your families unto the Father, always in my name, that your wives and your children may be blessed." There hasn't been family prayer in our home for several years. So, I guess the final verse was causing me to feel doubt about the previous two verses. 

And I'm learning more and more that Satan is mean. He can't cause mental illness, but he will definitely exploit any weak spots a person has. I think I was kind of being "sifted like wheat" in every direction. 

I never sent my coach the first 16 chapters of my book. Those are the ones that discuss the spiritual and emotional side of my journey. I discussed the compensatory blessings I've received, even though my prayers haven't been answered about my family's unbelief in the way I have hoped. But most of those spiritual compensatory blessings gradually disappeared as the pandemic went on and my isolation became more destructive. My coach only read the social side of my journey, which is the section I was editing during the last part of these challenges. That part wasn't giving me the spiritual upliftment I needed along the way, and it also emphasized how those things were no longer a part of my life—which is why I started feeling like a hypocrite. 

That is why I was feeling so parched and empty coming into this General Conference. The first session was all tears. The second session started my recovery. The third session began giving me the answer to switch my focus from coaching sources to gospel sources. The Sunday morning session gave me my definitive answer to shift my focus fully back on Jesus. 

By the time the final session ended, I was drained emotionally because conference weekends are the most difficult weekends of the year at our house. I am in my office with the door closed for ten hours—which pushes everyone's buttons. And, it's "insult to injury" for them that it's ten hours listening to people they don't respect, preaching things they don't believe in (and they feel that preaching drives a wedge between me and them). 

Does it make sense? I take full responsibility for my errors in judgment along the way. But I also feel like my physical/emotional illnesses played a part in that—although I'm trying not to use that as an excuse. And I understand that circumstances are neutral, but I think this particular combination of circumstances was a difficult set for me to manage with the challenges I was dealing with behind the scenes. 

So, that is why I'm confused about the coaching experience at this point—especially since I spent $2K on it over the past six months. I think I was supposed to quit listening to other coaches (since they are just dispensing general coaching), but not quit working with you (since it's more personal). I also think that you're probably the only coach in the world who has the empathy and spiritual strengths that I need to help me recover from this unfortunate situation I've ended up in. I feel like I've made the proper course corrections, but I also feel unsettled about my level of self-confidence as I continue my progress on this correct path. 

I'm also anxious about focusing too much on my thoughts and feelings because it seems like that is part of the reason I gradually ended up in this situation. That is my understanding at this point, but I'm not trying to discharge blame. So I'm hoping that the combination of Jesus, my coach, and me can help me back onto solid, steady ground over the next month. 

More waves of emotion (second thought download to my life coach on October 6, 2020)

  • Post-General Conference update to my coach on Tuesday afternoon (adapted for this blog):

My emotions have been all over the place since our last coaching session. Last night, I wanted to send an email and tell you I was quitting again. I'm so grateful that I didn't. I will try to share what has happened. I just wrote it all in my purple notebook. 

As I mentioned before, I stopped following Jody Moore (and also my friend who has recently become a life coach) on Instagram and unsubscribed from their podcasts on Saturday evening during the General Women's Meeting. I was so sad about it. But now I understand why. 

After praying this morning (which I have rarely done consistently), I stopped following Hilary Weeks, Emily Freeman, David Butler, and "Don't Miss This" study on Instagram. Instead, I started following four accounts that focus more regularly on Come Follow Me, General Conference, and beautiful art in connection with them. I realized that they (and Kenneth Cope and Brad Wilcox) are all extroverts and are very popular. Plus, I realized that when I follow them and interact with them, I feel like I am inferior and not contributing to the world in a positive way. 

I cried on Sunday evening after my husband did the sacrament for me (because I thought it would help me feel less empty after Conference), but it just made me feel more sad that I couldn't talk about it with anyone in my family. I accidentally mentioned that there would be a temple built in Lindon too, which was definitely the wrong thing to say to our son. 

I cried so much yesterday morning also. It ended up being the day off of our grandson's dad, so he watched our grandson—and I didn't have anything constructive to wake up to. I just can't figure out what to focus on. So I sit and spin my wheels—while trying to pray for direction. I texted my friend (I wrote about her in Divine Intersection #1) that I was too depressed to come and wouldn't be good company. She didn't want to pressure me, but felt like I should still come if I could. So we switched the time to noon, instead of two, and I forced myself to drive over there. 

We walked for awhile and then sat under some trees and talked before walking back to her house. She also agreed that I had a "perfect storm" of circumstances that was very difficult—especially since no friends were around to support me during the past month (except for my ministering sister a couple of times). She thought that maybe a reason I'm not getting answers or feeling inspired to do anything more is that I need to prioritize rest—since I've been so exhausted. She reminded me that my MS keeping me up at night, my depression, and also my early mornings with our grandson could all be taking a toll on my physical and emotional health. I thought that laying in bed was depression and reverting to my old ways, but she thinks it has been wise self care. My husband actually agrees. 

I forced myself to do the rowing machine for a few minutes in my husband's office after I returned home. I'm still trying to get the $340 refund from our marriage therapy, trying to decide whether to change treatments for MS (my neurologist wants me to try a ten-day pill solution, instead of an infusion), and trying to decide on a new individual therapist (two have responded and they seem much more user friendly than our previous office). I'm nervous about the side effects of changing medications and also don't want to start more therapy until I'm done with coaching and until my deductible is met (hopefully in early November). MS treatments cost $40K, so patients' assistance helps pay for them and meets our deductible—I feel like that's the only way I can contribute in a positive way to the family's finances. 

My husband also clarified that he doesn't mind if I work on my book or family history or organizing my closet—as long as I don't focus solely on one activity to the exclusion of all others (he calls them mono-activities). That is so difficult for me (with the combination of a slow warm up to activities because of depression and then hyperfocus because of obsessive compulsive tendencies and hypomania) because I'm afraid it will disappear when the next wave of depression hits. That's what happened with my book. 

Yesterday evening, I watched 1.5 videos from that organization program I bought because I couldn't focus on actually doing something. (She is the one I had the complimentary call with that inspired me to start writing my book.) She taught "the self-coaching model" in the first video. She explained that a way to process emotion is to try to describe what is happening to an alien, who has no idea what human emotion feels like. That was a different way of thinking about it, but I don't know if it will help. As you know, that's the part that I've never been able to figure out. I started crying again because it all felt so futile. 

I decided to "give up" and go to bed early again. I continued to listen to "Grace Where You Are" by Emily Freeman, but that seemed to make my tears worse. I know that I have a really good life. I don't have struggles like the pioneers or people who have cancer or are blind, but sometimes my emotional instability is more than I feel that I can handle. My husband was very sweet and he just sat by me last night as I kept having waves of tears. (He reminded me that this has happened before and it will pass like it always does. It's almost impossible for me to remember that in the darkness of that moment, though.) 

My husband also said that I make him feel good because I always believe he can do more than he can do and it encourages him to do more than he normally would be able to. I'm grateful that there is something I'm doing right in our relationship. He wants me to practice focusing on my divine worth to Jesus, since that's what I believe. That works well when I'm feeling healthy, but I get very upset with myself during times like this when I'm floundering. He says that's exactly when I need to practice it, so I will keep trying. 

Today, when I was watching our grandson, I cleared some of the excess clutter out of his play pen (sometimes we give him empty bottles and other "garbage" to play with because he loves them so much more than toys). In that moment, I realized that I need to continue clearing out anything that makes me feel like I don't measure up. I'm not cool and stylish like Jody Moore and Hilary Weeks. 

I don't have the ability to make any money like my life coach or them. But I keep trying to tell myself that I don't need to be productive or influential to be valuable; I just need to be the best me that I can each day. I need to love and give in ways that I am able to on that daynot any other day and not like other people do. As I uncover who I really am through more simplicity, I will be able to love myself more and more. I know that was the Spirit speaking because I'm not confident enough to just write that normally. 

So I thought I should share it with my coach also. I'm nervous about our final sessions. I want them to be productive and I want to follow my coach's counsel. I know I was led to her, but I just don't know why—since I haven't been able to figure out my thoughts and feelings very well.

My Answer (October 3–4, 2020)

  • Update to my life coach after evening session of General Conference on October 3rd: 
I feel much more grounded now that I've listened to six hours of conference talks and calming music. And have cried a bucket full of tears. 

During the women's meeting, I made the hard decision to delete Jody Moore off Instagram and unsubscribed from her podcast. I literally sobbed when I pushed those buttons, but I felt the Lord whispering that I need to focus more on the simple and basic truths of the gospel to refill my tank. She was one of the reasons I found my coach, though, and I'm grateful for that. Perhaps, I will find a new therapist because of those promptings this morning as well.

  • Update to my life coach before morning session of General Conference on October 4th:
The answer to my struggles has descended powerfully upon me overnight. 

Picture from Jasper National Park in Alberta, Canada
(I'm not sure who to give photo credit to.)

I have spent so much time trying to figure out my brain and feelings (which are both damaged because of mortality) over the past six months that I have completely turned my life upside down. Jesus is my answer. If you're able to support me in that, I welcome your help. I also welcome your prayers. 

I'm all in with this new model. I've never been so sure of anything in my life. Are you interested in coaching me with this? 

* My coach replied:  Absolutely!!! He is the answer to everything.

"More Purpose in Prayer"

  • I sent this email to a temple sealer in our ward on September 19th:
I have meant to watch your talk for the virtual youth conference ever since the bishop sent out the link back on August 8th. 

I have been more depressed than I've felt in years (since about August 28th). I continue to have powerful personal revelation and try to follow it—and it just kept getting harder and harder. Well, today was the day. I have been watching your video off and on throughout the afternoon and evening. I made a sign for my "prayer closet" that says "Listen and Feel / Turn your prayers from casual to mighty." 

My husband walked in and wondered what was wrong. I was on my knees and explained that I was trying to get centered again. The scriptures you shared (I rarely ever read in Psalms and Jeremiah!) and especially that video you made at the end filled my soul with love and peace. Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing your testimony and gifts with us. 


  • This was his thoughtful reply:

"You are welcome. I understand and relate to the need of becoming more centered from time to time. Especially in the current season in which we are living! Thanks for sharing with me part of your journey. I admire you for your desires and diligence and believe God will respond. May God bless you as you continue to seek and draw near to Him!"

  • Powerful verses in Psalm 143 that were so meaningful to me during that dark time: 

David meditates on the Lord’s works and trusts in Him. A Psalm of David.

1 Hear my prayer, O Lord, give ear to my supplications: in thy faithfulness answer me, and in thy righteousness.

3 For the enemy hath persecuted my soul; he hath smitten my life down to the ground; he hath made me to dwell in darkness . . .

4 Therefore is my spirit overwhelmed within me; my heart within me is desolate. 

5 I remember the days of old; I meditate on all thy works; I muse on the work of thy hands

6 I stretch forth my hands unto thee: my soul thirsteth after thee, as a thirsty land. Selah

(I learned from Emily Freeman that, in Hebrew, this can mean pause--she uses that word more as a time to ponder, rather than just a break in the psalm). 

7 Hear me speedily, O Lord: my spirit faileth: hide not thy face from me . . .

8 Cause me to hear thy lovingkindness in the morning; for in thee do I trust: cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto thee. 

9 Deliver me, O Lord, from mine enemies: I flee unto thee to hide me. 

10 Teach me to do thy will; for thou art my God: thy spirit is good; lead me into the land of uprightness. 

11 Quicken me, O Lord, for thy name’s sake: for thy righteousness’ sake bring my soul out of trouble

12 And of thy mercy cut off mine enemies, and destroy all them that afflict my soul: for I am thy servant.

  • Notes from his digital fireside that I typed next to those verses:
* Take time to listen and feel when you pray. 

* Turn your prayers from casual to mighty. 

* Invite Him to join you throughout the day for strength, direction, peace, and comfort.

* Take time to think back and be grateful.

* Be willing to ask Him what you need to ask, how you need to change, what you should do to live according to His will for you. 

* Part of our journey is to rediscover the great love we already have in our heart for Heavenly Father and Mother and for Jesus.

* Our mistakes don't show lack of love for God--they are simply manifestations of our humanity

* As we draw near to Them, we are given grace to change and improve

* They are united in Their efforts to bless us. The Holy Ghost is a beacon that leads us to Them and shows us the way (the next right step). 

* Make Heavenly Father and Jesus the primary focus of your life

(That seed was planted exactly two weeks before I received the powerful follow-up prompting during General Conference!)

  • Cross references: 

Psalm 91:15 ~ He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him . . .



11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end

12 Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you

13 And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart

14 And I will be found of you, saith the Lord: and I will turn away your captivity . . .



62 . . . my friends, I leave these sayings with you to ponder in your hearts, with this commandment which I give unto you, that ye shall call upon me . . .

63 Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you; seek me diligently and ye shall find me; ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you

64 Whatsoever ye ask the Father in my name it shall be given unto you, that is expedient for you

Three tips from Hilary Weeks' digital fireside (and some extra encouragement)

Hilary Weeks participated in a digital fireside on Sunday, July 19th. I "just happened" to watch it on August 31st, the evening of my 25th anniversary.

God reached me in a powerful way that evening. I took these notes: 


  • Tip #1: Take inventory and present to the Lord what you have to offer, even if it seems small and insignificant. 

John 6:9-14 ~

9 There is a lad here, which hath five barley loaves, and two small fishes: but what are they among so many

 10 And Jesus said, Make the men sit down. Now there was much grass in the place. So the men sat down, in number about five thousand

11 And Jesus took the loaves; and when he had given thanks, he distributed to the disciples, and the disciples to them that were set down; and likewise of the fishes as much as they would. 

 12 When they were filled, he said unto his disciples, Gather up the fragments that remain, that nothing be lost

 13 Therefore they gathered them together, and filled twelve baskets with the fragments of the five barley loaves, which remained over and above unto them that had eaten

14 Then those men, when they had seen the miracle that Jesus did, said, This is of a truth that prophet that should come into the world.

* This note was typed in the margins from a previous study: Offer what you have and are to God and ask Him to make more of you, so that you can do more and offer more to others

* Focus on Christ, rather than the problems that seem impossible to overcome. His yoke brings peace, settled feelings, and comfort. (Note from earlier that day during "Don't Miss This" video while studying Alma 31:32.)


  • Tip #2: Create stillness. Fresh starts, refreshment, and renewal come from quiet moments with God. 

1 Samuel 9:27 ~ . . . stand thou still a while that I may shew thee the word of God

Psalm 46:10 ~ Be still and know that I am God . . .


  • Tip #3: Stay the course. 

She quoted from this BYU devotional address by Jeffrey R. Holland in her digital fireside (it is also found in the March 2000 Ensign). 

"With any major decision there are cautions and considerations to make, but once there has been illumination, beware the temptation to retreat from a good thing. If it was right when you prayed about it and trusted it and lived for it, it is right now. Don’t give up when the pressure mounts. Certainly don’t give in to that being who is bent on the destruction of your happiness. Face your doubts. Master your fears. “Cast not away therefore your confidence.” Stay the course and see the beauty of life unfold for you."

* I have never had such hateful thoughts about myself as I have during these two months that I've been trying to write this book. (They came from the "being who is bent on the destructions of [my] happiness.")

  • I texted Hilary the next day on September 1st: 
It happened again. I came across your July digital fireside last night. It was just what I needed to hear. I miraculously wrote the rough draft of my book in five weeks and have spent the last two weeks making revisions on parts one and two. I have three parts to go and I was discouraged. (It ended up being about 300 double spaced pages, which is 200 pages longer than I had planned.) Your encouragement from Elder Holland to "stay the course" came at just the right moment.

  • I sent this email to Hilary on Friday, September 11, 2020: 
I apologize for being so familiar with you by texting. I wrote to let you know I was removing you from my contacts about four years ago, but you immediately texted back that I should add you back in. 

I texted a year ago to ask if I could use your lyrics if I wrote a book about my journey (because people kept telling me I needed to and I had NO idea how). I wouldn't even have a journey if it wasn't for your music. (I know that sounds dramatic, but it's true.) You texted back that it would be an honor to have your lyrics included. 

Then on July 10th of this year, I was finally given the inspiration to write the book. I finished the first draft on August 18th and have been editing ever since—literally during every waking hour. That is a miracle, so I know there is some purpose for it. I guess I was inspired to ask you again about the lyrics, so I could find out that I need to re-think the whole thing. There may not be a published book after all. Can you please just tell me what the rule is? What am I even allowed to include? Thank you for being so, so kind and patient with me through the years. 

  • She replied on the evening of Sunday, September 13, 2020 (after I had my mini "nervous breakdown," quit coaching, and decided to quit writing the book):

I was out of town over the weekend so I didn’t check my email! Rebecca is going to look into what the information might need to be for the songs. 

I just wanted to send you a note and tell you not to get frustrated and to hang in there! What you are doing is important! You can finish this and see it through! I KNOW you can. 

I’m sure the adversary would like nothing more than to see you quit right now. He knows you’ll continue to bless lives with this book and so he would love to see you get discouraged! 

He does that to me every time I write music. It is a sneaky and lame tactic. Stay positive and believe in yourself! You got this!!!! You are amazing!!!! Keep praying and taking the final steps. Just like on your walks!!


  • My reply the next morning:  
Thank you for taking the time to send this uplifting and encouraging reply, Hilary. It means more than you know. I appreciate all of Rebecca's behind-the-scenes work as well. I will follow the rules on whatever both of you decide. 

(They ended up giving me permission the following Sunday to use the full lyrics of 30+ songs, like I had originally planned—after I had completely given up.)

Thursday, August 13, 2020

Chapter 26: Spiritual Learning

 

            On July 23, 2018, I  took a tour of UVU with my sister and her oldest daughter, since she was considering coming here for college the following year. At the end of the tour, we were walking past the back door of the Institute of Religion and my sister wondered if the door was open. We went down to check and it was. So we convinced her daughter to just be willing to check it out with us. One of the teachers there gave us an impromptu tour, some tips about good times to hang out there, and a plug for the inexpensive parking. At the end of the tour, I mentioned that I was a student at UVU also. He surprised me by saying I was eligible to take classes there too. That thought had never crossed my mind previously and it planted a seed, in the same way it did during the  original tour of UVU with our daughter. I took a copy of the classes offered and looked over it when I returned home. I decided to take Teachings of President Russell M. Nelson and two other classes, but I wasn’t allowed to register for them online because I’m over the age of 30. I called and the secretary told me she could register me if I came down there in person. So I rushed back to the Institute before I lost my courage. I signed up for two other classes on Monday and Wednesday as well,  since my UVU classes were on Tuesday and Thursday.  

            On July 30th, my sister and I met a family friend for breakfast at the Kneaders near our home. She gave my sister a book titled Joseph Smith’s First Vision: A Guide to the Historical Accounts by Steven C. Harper. I spontaneously decided to go along with my sister up to Temple Square that day. She was meeting a friend for lunch and I thought it would be a peaceful experience to get away, walk around Temple Square, and read that book in preparation for beginning Institute classes the following month. We separated when we arrived and I wandered through Temple Square taking pictures. Then I watched the panoramic short movie of the first vision in the Church History Museum and it felt like I was there in the sacred grove with Joseph. I just stayed seated after the film ended and pondered about how grateful I was that he had the courage to pray and find answers for himself. I decided to stay and watch it again. A Japanese family came in and sat down, which meant the film was shown in their language. It helped me feel the Spirit even stronger when I couldn’t understand the words being said. That experience was the perfect preparation for reading the book later. After the film ended, I looked around the museum and paid special attention to the Kirtland time period, since our parents were currently serving a mission in Historic Kirtland. I didn’t feel like doing anything else, so after I took a picture of the Christus statue in the North Visitors Center, I sat on a chair below the ramp leading up to it. I rested my leg and started to read my sister’s book.



            I decided to walk around a little more after reading for about 45 minutes. So I headed over to the Joseph Smith Memorial Building. I rode the elevator up to the tenth floor to see the view and read a little more of the book on a bench just down the hall from the fountain and restaurants. Then I rode the elevator back down to the mezzanine level to listen to the beautiful piano music coming from the lobby below.


            After listening to the music for a few minutes, I felt ready to read some more. So I sat in the chapel and read while I waited for my sister to meet me after her lunch. The book discusses the different accounts of Joseph Smith’s first vision from a historical scholarly perspective. The short movie I watched earlier blended a few details from the different accounts to provide a fuller perspective of Joseph’s reasons for praying that day. The different accounts were told at different times to different people in different settings. To me, if each telling were exactly the same, that would make me feel like it was fabricated – like he memorized a story he made up. Each time he shared the story, he discussed different details to fit the audience. The whole afternoon was a very spiritual experience for me with plenty of time to ponder and pray about what I was reading.


            The appearance of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ to Joseph, not only ushered in a new dispensation with Priesthood power on the earth, but also explained more about Their character. Heavenly Father called Joseph by name, which meant He knew him and cared about the concerns of this fourteen year old farm boy from a poor family. He introduced Jesus and asked Joseph to “Hear Him.” This vision showed that They were two distinct and separate Beings. It also demonstrated the complete trust Heavenly Father has in Jesus as the Savior of all mankind. I’m grateful that I took the time to visit the Christus statue as well. My testimony is centered in Jesus Christ. I’m so grateful for His perfect life, which showed us the way to live ours. I’m even more grateful for His atoning sacrifice for each of us. This selfless sacrifice included His suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane, more agonizing suffering on the cross, and His resurrection on the third day. Because of Him, we will all be resurrected. Through His grace, we have the opportunity to repent, forgive, progress, change, and become more like Him in the process. This experience only strengthened the testimony and I know I was inspired to spontaneously join my sister that day.

            When I walked into the Institute on the first day of class, I was overwhelmed by the peaceful Spirit in that building. It was even more tangible than I feel it in the temple. I was grateful for the opportunity to spend more time in another building dedicated for holy purposes. I immediately loved my teacher for Teachings of President Russell M. Nelson and felt a desire to talk with her as often as possible after class. I soaked up the information in each class and took pictures of most of the slides so that I could revisit what I was learning. I also became friends with two female students - one sat behind me and the other sat next to me at the other end of the row. I believe that the teacher and one of those friends were a big part of the reason I was supposed to attend Institute. That is the teacher who encouraged me on the last day I attended class to pay more attention to references in the temple endowment session about the cross. I discuss that later in the chapter titled “Being Tutored in the Temple.”

            I enjoyed the lesson in the other two classes on that first day, but I also knew I wasn’t supposed to take them after all. Along with that thought, I unexpectedly had a strong desire to try to graduate from Institute, which was not on my radar at all. So I went to talk to the secretaries about the possibility of transferring my religion credits from BYU. Two of the secretaries lived in the 5th ward of our previous stake and the other one was related to a family in the 3rd ward. What are the odds of that? I wasn’t ever able to visit them when I lived there, so I thought this might be an opportunity to get to know them better. They agreed to transfer both classes from Fall semester 1992, which was such a relief and meant that nothing had been wasted from that original college experience! My Sharing the Gospel class transferred as an elective and they were willing to allow my Book of Mormon class to count as one of the core classes in place of Eternal Families, since I just didn’t think it was a good idea to expose myself to ideal teachings with my current family situation. In order to graduate, I needed to take three core classes, so I knew I needed to start that semester. I wasn’t sure which core class to choose, so I asked the secretaries for suggestions. They suggested I talk to one of the teachers and so I went to the classroom where his class was just finishing. He immediately reminded me of my dad and he actually knew my dad. That was enough of a reason to take the class from him, so I registered for Foundations of the Restoration and began attending the next class.  

            I signed up to give a short devotional at the beginning of the following class on August 27, 2018. I’m including that here. “In Words of Mormon, Mormon abridges the large plates of Nephi and he puts the small plates with the other plates. Verse 7 says, ‘And I do this for a wise purpose; for thus it whispereth me, according to the workings of the Spirit of the Lord which is in me. And now, I do not know all things; but the Lord knoweth all things which are to come; wherefore, he worketh in me to do according to his will.’ This verse is explaining how the Lord prepared a way for the work not to be frustrated when Joseph lost the 116 pages. But, in a personal application, I have been so grateful for the promptings of the Spirit when I'm trying to figure out my next steps. That happened to me last Wednesday. I was prompted to go to the temple before class and put all of my temple cards in my backpack. I didn't know why, but I know better not to follow a prompting. During the session, I was given a stronger prompting to ask others if they would like to help with some of the names. That wasn't something I planned. I feel like it should be a priority for each of us to find our own family names to take to the temple. But a couple of older ladies in my previous ward asked me to help them with their names, which I did for several years. And that laid the foundation for finding my own names. I hope that will be the case with the people who help me as well. I know that personal revelation is a gift from Heavenly Father. I'm so grateful to Joseph Smith for following his prompting to pray out loud and ask God for more wisdom.” I passed around a sign-up sheet after that, even though I probably wasn’t supposed to. Several students signed up and continued to help me with my temple work all semester. Three kind returned missionary guys helped me with several endowments each. Two female students in that class and also my two friends in the other class helped with baptisms, confirmations, initiatories, and a couple of endowments. In addition, I kept running into a guy I met in the class I dropped. I asked if he would be willing to help also and he did several initiatories and endowments as well. It was clear that the Lord orchestrated which classes I should take and I’m so grateful for those divine intersections.

            On September 7, 2018, I was prompted to attend the Friday noon devotional where Steve Harper spoke about the new book titled Saints that he helped edit. (He is the author of the book on Joseph Smith that I spent an afternoon reading at Temple Square in July.) I didn’t realize that my dad taught with him in the BYU religion department several years ago. When my teacher found out about that connection, she spontaneously invited me to the speaker’s luncheon afterward.       

  I was grateful to have the opportunity to thank him personally for writing that book. (Another small world connection is that his wife is the sister of a friend in our current ward.) I was also grateful that I followed the prompting to attend the devotional. It’s the only one I attended during the entire time I took classes at the Institute.

            I decided to visit my parents on their mission over Fall break. So I flew there by myself and had a good experience staying with them in their apartment and touring the nearby historic sites. In fact, I wrote my final paper on my visit to Kirtland and Hiram, Ohio on October 18-19, 2018. I’m including part of it here. “Before flying to see my missionary parents in Historic Kirtland, I learned about the areas I would visit in our Foundations of the Restoration class. In the three classes preceding my trip, we discussed lessons titled “The Vision” (Doctrine and Covenants 76), “The Kirtland Temple and Priesthood Keys” (Doctrine and Covenants 109-110), and “Strength Amid Opposition” (Doctrine and Covenants 112, 121, and 122). I’m grateful for the deeper perspective my visit gave to the events that I learned about in class.

            We visited the John Johnson home on the first day I was there. It is located in Hiram, Ohio (about 45 minutes away from Historic Kirtland). My parents and I were the only visitors on the tour, so we were able to take our time and I felt the Spirit confirm to me the importance of this place. Joseph and Emma Smith lived there while Joseph worked on the translation of the Bible (JST). He and Sidney Rigdon received the vision of the degrees of glory in the upper room of the Johnson home and it was recorded as Doctrine and Covenants section 76. The missionary who led the tour took a picture of my parents and I in that room where the Savior was seen in a vision!

            A mob of men violently dragged Joseph from the Johnson home one night, beat him unmercifully, and poured tar and feathers on him…. He made his way back to the house later that night, and the women there helped to remove the tar and feathers. He recovered enough to preach a sermon on the front steps of that home the next morning and was able to identify members of the mob among the group. I am impressed with the Christlike attributes of forgiveness and humility that the prophet Joseph Smith demonstrated.

             I walked up the hill on my own the next morning to take a tour of the Kirtland Temple. Prior to the tour, I bought a leather bound copy of the Inspired Version of the Bible (which includes the JST verses within the text). I also bought replicas of the 1830 Book of Mormon, the small 1833 Book of Commandments, the 1835 Doctrine and Covenants, and the small 1832 hymn book (Doctrine and Covenants 25 explains that the Lord asked Emma Smith to make a selection of sacred hymns)…. The Kirtland Temple served the Saints for about two years until they were driven out of the area because of persecution. I enjoyed the tour of the temple, but I didn’t feel the Spirit as strongly there as I did at the other sites, possibly because it is no longer owned and operated by our Church.

            The Kirtland Temple was the first temple to be built in this dispensation (D&C 88:119). It was dedicated in March 1836 (D&C 109) and the Savior appeared there to accept it as a place where He would reveal His word (D&C 110:1-10). After that, Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery were visited by Moses, Elias, and Elijah—they each restored priesthood keys for this dispensation (D&C 110:11-16). Moses restored the keys to the gathering of the lost tribes of Israel (I think of that as missionary work or proclaiming the gospel). Elias is a title and the Abrahamic Covenant was restored through him (I think of that as temple marriage or perfecting the saints). Elijah restored the sealing power (I think of that as redeeming the dead, where the hearts of the children are turned to their fathers and vice versa). Joseph Smith also saw a vision of the celestial kingdom in the Kirtland Temple (D&C 137) and I love verse 9, which explains that we will be judged by our works and the desires of our heart. That gives me great comfort because good people always seem to have a desire to do more than they actually end up doing, so we get credit for both. We have a very merciful and loving God.

             

            I met my parents at the visitors’ center when I returned from my tour of the temple. My dad took me on the first part of the visitors’ center tour (which included the rebuilt school house) with another couple. Then two missionary sisters took me on the remainder of the Historic Kirtland tour with a couple that was also on my temple tour. First, we visited the rebuilt ashery and sawmill. After that, we spent a lot of time in the restored Newel K. Whitney store and restored Whitney home. We completed the tour in the rebuilt John Johnson inn. 

            I thoroughly enjoyed the tour of the Whitney store and home. The N.K. Whitney store played a major role in the history of the Church in Kirtland. Joseph and Emma lived there for a time and the School of the Prophets was held in the upper room of the store. Joseph received the revelation on the Word of Wisdom (D&C 89) and he also worked on the translation of the Bible (JST) there. My parents and I returned later that afternoon so that my dad could give me a priesthood blessing in the room where the School of the Prophets met. It was a very sacred experience for me to receive a blessing in a place where the Savior was seen by Joseph and it helped me to feel closer to my parents.

            The last place we visited was the Isaac Morley farm, which is a couple of miles away from the main Historic Kirtland site. My dad bent a smaller limb down from one of the large trees on the farm, so that I could have a leaf from a tree that existed during the time of Joseph Smith. I appreciated learning that Isaac Morley stayed true to his faith, in spite of opposition. He and his wife, Mary, were some of the first converts to the Church in Ohio. At the time of their conversion, several friends lived on their farm and shared a communal lifestyle. Later, they better understood the higher law of consecration and were willing to eventually sacrifice their farm when the Lord commanded it. I’m very grateful for the faith, dedication, and courage of the early Saints, which makes it possible for me to enjoy the blessings of the gospel and temple work today.”

            I shared my family situation in relation to the church with the sister missionaries during the tour. At the end of the tour, they shared a quote by James E. Faust with me. “In the pain, the agony, and the heroic endeavors of life, we pass through a refiner’s fire, and the insignificant and the unimportant in our lives can melt away like dross and make our faith bright, intact, and strong.” He continued, “This change comes about through a refining process which often seems…hard. In this way the soul can become like soft clay in the hands of the Master in building lives of faith, usefulness, beauty, and strength. For some, the refiner’s fire causes a loss of belief and faith in God, but those with eternal perspective understand that such refining is part of the perfection process. In our extremities, it is possible to become born again, born anew, renewed in heart and spirit….This trial of faith can become a priceless experience. Stated Peter, ‘That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ’ (1 Peter 1:7). Trials and adversity can be preparatory to becoming born anew. A rebirth out of spiritual adversity causes us to become new creatures… born of God, changed, redeemed, and uplifted—to become the sons and daughters of God. (See Mosiah 27:24–27.)” (“The Refiner’s Fire,” Ensign, May 1979).

            No other semester compared with that first semester with those two classes hand-picked just for me. However, I still enjoyed and was uplifted by the other classes I took at the Institute. In Spring 2019, I took a second core class, Teachings and Doctrines of the Book of Mormon. In Summer 2019, I took three classes, so I could graduate and focus solely on my last semester at UVU in Fall 2019. During first term of Summer, I took my last core class, Jesus Christ and the Everlasting Gospel. I also took an elective taught by the Institute director, Repentance and Forgiveness. It was a powerful class and I met another friend who I have stayed in touch with occasionally since then. Both teachers and that friend were helpful in supporting me after I found out our daughter and her boyfriend were going to have a baby.

            I took my last class during second term of Summer, Witnesses of Christ. There was only one other female student in that class and she didn’t participate much, so it was like having my own personal lesson with the teacher each time we met. Two ideas have stayed with me from that class. First, Nephi and Laban were types and shadows of Christ and Satan. In 1 Nephi 4:10, 18-19 it says that Nephi “shrunk and would that I might not… I did obey the voice of the Spirit… and I did gird on his armor…” This can be loosely compared to the Savior describing His intense suffering in Gethsemane, “…and would that I might not drink the bitter cup, and shrink—Nevertheless, glory be to the Father, and I partook and finished my preparations unto the children of men” (Doctrine and Covenants 19:18-19). Nephi cut off Laban’s head and put on his armor, which symbolizes Christ’s full victory over Satan. I would have never discovered that comparison personally and I was grateful for the way this teacher helped me to look deeper in the scriptures. Second, I learned, “marvel not, neither should (you) doubt” (Alma 5:49). Marveling about miracles (and spiritual experiences) does not produce faith. Instead, it produces doubt. Saying, “I can’t believe it” when something good happens, actually shows doubt and not faith. Don’t say, “I know I was praying for it, but I can’t believe it actually happened.” Instead, thank the Lord for His blessing, which you expected, and continue on with faith. That was another principle I would have never thought of on my own. I’m grateful for teachers who study and teach with the Spirit.

            I have always appreciated the eloquence of a quote by Parley P. Pratt, ever since I first heard my dad quote it when I was a teenager. I discovered it again in Doctrines of the Gospel Student Manual. “An intelligent being, in the image of God, possesses every organ, attribute, sense, sympathy, affection, that is possessed by God himself…. These attributes are in embryo, and are to be gradually developed. They resemble a bud, a germ, which gradually develops into bloom, and then, by progress, produces the mature fruit after its own kind. The gift of the Holy Ghost adapts itself to all these organs or attributes. It quickens all the intellectual faculties, increases, enlarges, expands, and purifies all the natural passions and affections, and adapts them, by the gift of wisdom, to their lawful use. It inspires, develops, cultivates, and matures all the fine-toned sympathies, joys, tastes, kindred feelings, and affections of our nature. It inspires virtue, kindness, goodness, tenderness, gentleness, and charity….” (Key to the Science of Theology, 61–62; quoted in “The Gift of the Holy Ghost,” Doctrines of the Gospel Student Manual). I am grateful for these strengthening and enhancing blessings.

            In the video “Wrong Roads,” Jeffery R. Holland explains, “ There are times when the only way to get from A to C is by way of B…. Noting that the sun was going down, (he and his son) decided we better get back. But we came back to a particular fork in the road, really the only one, that at that point, was absolutely unrecognizable. I asked my son to pray about which road to take, and he felt strongly that we should go to the right.... I did as well, and we went to the right and it was a dead end. We went four or five or six hundred yards and it was an absolute dead end, clearly the wrong road. We turned around, came back out, took the other road, and clearly the road to the left was the correct road. Somewhere along the way, Matt said, ‘Dad, why did we feel, after praying about it, that the right road was the proper one to take, the correct one to take, and it wasn't?’ And I said, ‘I think that the Lord, His wish for us there, and his answer to our prayer was to get us on the right road as quickly as possible with some reassurance, with some understanding, that we were on the right road and we didn't have to worry about it. And, in this case, the easiest way to do that was to let us go 400 yards or 500 yards on the wrong road, and very quickly know, without a doubt, that it was the wrong road, and therefore with equal certainty with equal conviction that the other one was the right road.’ I have absolute certain knowledge, perfect knowledge, that God loves us. He is good, He is our Father, and He expects us to pray, and trust, and be believing, and not give up, and not panic, and not retreat, and not jump ship, when something doesn't seem to be going just right. We stay in, we keep working, we keep believing, keep trusting, following that same path and we will live to fall in His arms and feel His embrace and hear Him say, ‘I told you that it'd be okay, I told you it would be all right.’” I have been grateful for the times when my prayers have been answered in a similar way.           

            Richard G. Scott explained, “What do you do when you have prepared carefully, have prayed fervently, waited a reasonable time for a response, and still do not feel an answer? You may want to express thanks when that occurs, for it is an evidence of His trust. When you are living worthily and your choice is consistent with the Savior’s teachings and you need to act, proceed with trust. … When you are living righteously and are acting with trust, God will not let you proceed too far without a warning impression if you have made the wrong decision” (“Using the Supernal Gift of Prayer,” Ensign, May 2007). I have experienced this idea of moving forward unless I feel stopped by the Spirit, rather than waiting for the Spirit to prompt me in every action.

            Another lesson came when I prayed for a stronger testimony of prophets and apostles in the temple on a Tuesday evening. This was during a difficult time when I was still sorting out my feelings around my family’s unbelief. I received an unmistakable answer from the scriptures during Gospel Doctrine class that Sunday on May 9, 2016. “…the Spirit speaketh the truth and lieth not. Wherefore, it speaketh of things as they really are, and of things as they really will be; wherefore, these things are manifested unto us plainly, for the salvation of our souls. But behold, we are not witnesses alone in these things; for God also spake them unto prophets…” (Jacob 4:13). I attached this note to the verse in Gospel Library, “We can know of a surety that prophets and seers speak truth by the second witness of the Spirit who we can always trust to testify of truth.” I will end with a basic spiritual lesson I’ve learned. Repetition in the gospel is a good thing because it helps us know what we need to focus on most. When I notice repeated words in scriptures, like “remember, remember” or when I notice repeated themes in General Conference talks, I have learned to pay attention, rather than tune them out because they may seem redundant. That lesson has served me well time and time again.

Tuesday, August 11, 2020

Chapter 32: Family History Fun (part 2)

I'm still not finished with this chapter, so I'm going to post this and continue working on it tomorrow.

 

            Miracles and divine intersections continued regularly during the following two years. On April 5, 2018, my sister in North Carolina found an entire family of our ancestors when she followed up on a notification for Cornelia Driesprong (2nd cousin of our grandma’s dad) that Family Search sent her daughter in February. The temple closest to my sister was now closed for long-term renovations, so I reserved the work for the Driesprong family. The next day, on April 6th, my mom forwarded a notification to me that Family Search sent her back in March for Jansje Cornelia Kruidenier (4th cousin of our grandma’s dad). As I looked at her family members, I noticed that all of her mom’s temple work had been completed in 1961, except for her being sealed to her parents. So that's how I found her parents, Pieter van der Wel and Maria den Boer, who also needed all of their work done. So I reserved the work for the Kruidenier family, along with their grandparents. That meant I could do the baptism and confirmation of a grandma at the same time as several of her granddaughters. I printed out all of those cards and invited one of my walking friends to go with me to begin the temple work for these families the next day on April 7th.

            I returned to the Provo Temple on April 12, 2018 to do the initiatories for these female ancestors. After I arrived, I met a kind woman at the initiatory desk who offered to help me complete half of them. Because of that, I also had time to do one of the endowments, and I ended up sitting by that same kind woman during the session. I looked her up later on Facebook and sent her a message. We decided to meet at the Provo Temple again the following week, so we could get to know each other better. I went a couple of hours early on April 19th to wait in the baptistry for the male ordinances to be completed. Then I asked a kind man to take those completed cards into the male dressing room, so the initiatories could possibly be completed while I was in the endowment session. When my friend arrived, we went to the cafeteria to visit while we ate lunch prior to the endowment session. As I waited for her at a table, I noticed an older man sitting in the corner of the cafeteria and I felt prompted to go over and talk with him. I explained that seven of my male temple cards were in the men’s dressing room and I wasn’t sure if the work was actually being done or not. He understood my plight. Since he was almost finished with his meal, he would check to see if they were completed. If they weren’t, he promised he would do them for me. I was very grateful for his kindness. He came back a few minutes later with the completed cards. He then surprised me by explaining that he spent every day in the temple and completed three endowment sessions each day. This was a Thursday and he said he could have those cards completed for me by Saturday. I immediately jumped up and gave him a big hug, before I realized that it may not have been appropriate. He laughed and said he would take a hug like that anytime, just like he would from a granddaughter. I was overcome with joy in that moment and felt extremely grateful for this obvious divine intersection.

            True to his word, the endowments were completed by Saturday afternoon. As soon as the notification appeared on Family Search, I gathered the other cards I had been working on during the previous two weeks and drove to the temple to help complete the sealings. President Freestone was the sealer that day, which made the experience even more sacred. (Our families know each other and I didn’t realize that he had become a sealer on the day before my birthday in February – which is when this journey began for me. He and his wife now have a special place in my heart). I briefly shared the experiences that brought me to that session and he commented later on how contagious my enthusiasm was. Over the following year, I occasionally asked Heavenly Father to bless that kind man who helped to complete those seven male endowments for me. I wondered if our paths would ever cross again, since he was there each day and my time at the temple had increased. That time would come later.

            I was asked to give a presentation to the youth in our ward on the blessings of temple and family history work. That presentation occurred on May 20, 2018 and I was grateful to have the experiences of the previous month to share with them. I also used a Conference talk by Dale G. Renlund as my theme. He explained, “When God directs us to do one thing, He often has many purposes in mind. Family history and temple work is not only for the dead but blesses the living as well…. We (can) identify our own ancestors who died without receiving the ordinances of salvation. We can perform the ordinances vicariously in temples, and our ancestors may choose to accept the ordinances. We are also encouraged to help ward and stake members with their family names. It is… amazing that, through family history and temple work, we can help to redeem the dead. But as we participate in family history and temple work today, we also lay claim to ‘healing’ blessings…. This long list includes these blessings: increased understanding of the Savior and His atoning sacrifice; increased influence of the Holy Ghost to feel strength and direction for our own lives; increased faith, so that conversion to the Savior becomes deep and abiding; …increased joy through an increased ability to feel the love of the Lord; …increased love and appreciation for ancestors and living relatives, so we no longer feel alone; …increased protection from… the intensifying influence of the adversary; and increased assistance to mend troubled, broken, or anxious hearts and make the wounded whole. If you have prayed for any of these blessings, participate in family history and temple work. As you do so, your prayers will be answered” (“Family History and Temple Work: Sealing and Healing,” Ensign, May 2018).

            He continued, “When ordinances are performed on behalf of the deceased, God’s children on earth are healed. No wonder President Russell M. Nelson, in his first message as President of the Church, declared, ‘Your worship in the temple and your service there for your ancestors will bless you with increased personal revelation and peace and will fortify your commitment to stay on the covenant path.’ An earlier prophet also foresaw blessings for both the living and the dead. A heavenly messenger showed Ezekiel a vision of a temple with water gushing out of it…. Two characteristics of the water are noteworthy. First, …meaningful growth occurs going backward and forward through the generations as sealing ordinances weld families together. Second, the river renewed everything that it touched. The blessings of the temple likewise have a stunning capacity to heal. Temple blessings can heal hearts and lives and families” (Family History and Temple Work: Sealing and Healing,” Ensign, May 2018).

            I feel like the blessings of the temple have made every part of my life better. It hasn’t solved all my problems, but it has given me strength to deal with them better. Each time I complete the temple ordinances for an ancestor, I believe they become another angel that can help strengthen me and my family when life is difficult. Temple work is an amazing kind of service because the people who have died can’t do this work themselves. So we are literally helping Christ to save them. He has the power to do it all on His own, but he allows us to help Him. I shared with the youth how the temple helps us grow up in a more spiritual way. This scripture passage explains what I mean, “…Do thou grant, Holy Father, that all those who shall worship in this house….may grow up in thee, and receive a fulness of the Holy Ghost… and be prepared to obtain every needful thing” (Doctrine and Covenants 109:14-15). Dale G. Renlund concluded, “President Russell M. Nelson, however, cautioned: ‘We can be inspired all day long about temple and family history experiences others have had. But we must do something to actually experience the joy ourselves.’ He continued, ‘I invite you to prayerfully consider what kind of sacrifice—preferably a sacrifice of time—you can make [to] do more temple and family history work’” (Family History and Temple Work: Sealing and Healing,” Ensign, May 2018). I thought I wouldn’t ever be able to figure out how to do family history work, but I’ve been so grateful that Heavenly Father knew exactly what was needed and provided a way through these miraculous experiences.