The name and order of the
chapters in this book’s table of contents and the division of the book into five
different sections was given to me very clearly one afternoon at the end of
summer 2019. I have tried not to deviate from the names and order that I
originally decided on. However, I wasn’t sure what to write for this chapter in
its original place at the beginning of section four. As I pondered, I felt that
this was the better place for it. I believe it’s never too late to learn, to
love, to change, to develop Christlike attributes, or to progress. This chapter
has some similarities with the chapter on perfectionism, but I think the concepts
are worth repeating.
Cassy Budd is a professor at BYU. She gave a speech at BYU
that was very powerful for me and I used several quotes from it in my final
English paper on perfectionism. She explained that her experiences gave her “a
deep appreciation for the value of the ‘try’. Simply showing up and starting
where you are is all that can be asked of you. Regardless of your level of
experience, your failures, or your perception of your own potential, wherever
you are in life, you just need to show up and try. Try to listen to the patient instruction of the Savior, try to
imitate His movements, try to ignore the negative self-talk when
your movements do not measure up, and try to focus on the joy in the learning
instead of the defeat in the failure. And amidst your ‘try,’ recognize that
others around you are in the middle of their own ‘try.’ Celebrate their
progress, even when they seem to be farther along than you, and give them a
pass when they fall short.” She applied this to her mistakes in playing the
piano. “When you allow yourself to be paralyzed by your mistakes, you diminish
your ability to be useful... Making mistakes is simply part of the human
condition and can be one of your most productive learning tools. Yes, you need
to recognize your mistakes. But more than that, you need to find a way to
effectively play through them.” She continued with another example, “Failure is
useful in physical development as well. Strategically working a muscle to
failure—the point at which you can no longer lift or push or pull whatever you
are lifting or pushing or pulling—and then allowing proper time for the muscle
fibers to repair is one of the most effective ways to build strength. This
process of failing and repairing eventually results in stronger, more efficient
muscles”
I
especially appreciated on the part of her talk where she focused on the Savior’s
role in our lives. She explained, “We all, at one time or other, will be in a
situation in which our strength or knowledge or skill or perhaps even our
desire is not enough. These are the times when your Savior pulls you up out of
the darkness—if you will let go and take His hand. These are the times when His
voice guides you to safety—if you will listen carefully. And it is for these
times that He descended below all things—to become your stepping-stone.” She
then quoted Jeffery R. Holland, “When [the Savior] says
. . . , ‘Come unto me,’ He means He knows the way out and He
knows the way up. He knows it because He has walked it. He knows the way
because He is the way” [“Broken Things to Mend,” Ensign, May 2006;
emphasis in original]. She continued, “[The Savior] can work with whatever you
have to give if you are willing to accept His help…. Living perfectly is
not the plan. Repentance is the plan. Jesus Christ is the plan. I think we
erroneously equate perfection with living a perfect life, with never failing or
falling short, but Jesus Christ is the only one who ever did or ever will do
that…. Perfection, for us, is not about being flawless; it is about being
finished”
I
was fascinated with the conclusion of her talk and how she tied it all together
so seamlessly. She explained, “Artists who practice the Japanese art form kintsugi repair
broken pottery by filling the cracks with a lacquer made from gold, silver, or
platinum, restoring the damaged piece to something beautiful and whole.
Kintsugi teaches that scars are not something to hide; rather, they are to be
celebrated for the unique beauty they exhibit. The scars themselves are
considered precious and therefore are mended with precious metals to honor
their value. The finished piece is even more beautiful than the unbroken
original. Similarly, we honor the scars of our Savior, for He has graven
us on the palms of His hands (see Isaiah
49:16)…. When we turn our broken pieces over
to the Savior, our gaps are filled with Him—with His perfection—and we are made
complete; we are finished by the Great Creator through the restorative power of
‘the author and finisher of our faith’ (Hebrews
12:2). We come to know the Savior not just by
recognizing and reverencing His scars but by recognizing and reverencing our
own. We are bound to the Savior through our mutual scars, ‘and with His stripes
we are healed’ (Isaiah 53:5; see also verse 4)…. Jesus Christ, the Savior of the world,
desires to mend your broken pieces, fill your empty spaces, and make of you a
vessel that is more beautiful and whole. May you each find the strength to fail
and, in the hands of your Savior, the power to finish” (“On
Failing and Finishing,” BYU Speeches, 14 Feb. 2017).
I was asked to give a talk on Christlike attributes when
we moved into our current ward. I really appreciated the opportunity to study
more about them. The title of chapter six in the Preach My Gospel manual is “How Do I Develop
Christ-like Attributes?” It explains, “Christlike
attributes are gifts from God…. Ask your Heavenly Father to bless you with
these attributes; you cannot develop them without His help…” This chapter discusses nine of
Christ’s attributes. I won’t mention all of them, but I highly recommend going
through that chapter and looking up the scripture references. It inspired me to
strive to be more Christlike in so many ways. The first three attributes it
mentions are faith, hope, and charity. Faith in Jesus Christ. Hope through
Jesus Christ. And charity as the pure love of Christ.
The
gospel reference book, True to the Faith, explains, “Faith is a principle of action and power.
Whenever you work toward a worthy goal, you exercise faith. You show your hope
for something that you cannot yet see…. Having faith in Jesus Christ means
relying completely on Him—trusting in His infinite power, intelligence, and
love…. It means believing that even though you do not understand all things, He
does. Remember that because He has experienced all your pains, afflictions, and
infirmities, He knows how to help you rise above your daily difficulties (see Alma
7:11-12)…. He is always ready to help you as you remember His plea: ‘Look unto me
in every thought; doubt not, fear not’” (Doctrine
and Covenants 6:36). One of my favorite scriptures has always been, “I can do all things through Christ which
strengtheneth me” (Philippians
4:13).
Preach My Gospel explains, “Hope is an abiding trust that the Lord will fulfill His promises
to you…. When you have hope, you work through trials and difficulties with the
confidence and assurance that all things will work together for your good. Hope
helps you conquer discouragement….” Another of my very favorite scriptures
shows how faith and hope work together. The Book of Mormon: Another Testament
of Jesus Christ explains, “…Whoso believeth in God might with surety hope
for a better world… which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls
of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good
works…” (Ether
12:4).
In the New Testament, Jesus taught, “Thou shalt love the
Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou
shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.” (Matthew 22:37-39). The Book of Mormon: Another
Testament of Jesus Christ
explains, “Charity… is kind…. Charity never faileth.
Wherefore, cleave unto charity.... Charity is the pure love of Christ….
Wherefore… pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be
filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers
of his Son, Jesus Christ…” (Moroni 7:45-48). Preach My Gospel
continues, “…Charity is a gift from God…. As you follow this counsel and strive to
do righteous works, your love for all people will increase….You will come to
feel a sincere concern for the …. happiness of other people. You will see them
as children of God with the potential of becoming like our Heavenly Father.…You
will avoid judging others, criticizing them, or saying negative things about
them. You will try to understand them and their points of view.”
I was
grateful to discover this verse in the New Testament, “And of
some have compassion, making a difference” (Jude
1:22). I absolutely know that genuine
kindness, compassion, and Christlike love makes a positive difference!
We won’t always know exactly what to say or do, but we can try our best to
uplift others when they are struggling or discouraged. The New Testament also explains,
“…Above all things have fervent
charity among yourselves: for charity shall
cover the multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8). I believe that when we focus on developing Christlike love for
others, it helps refine us so that the sins don’t occur as much anymore. The good news of the gospel is that
we are saved by grace. That helps us move away from the pressure-filled,
checklist mentality and focus more on faith, hope, and charity. We can’t do one
thing to earn our way to heaven. We just need to practice making progress in
good ways. As we pray and practice, our love of God, ourselves, and others will
grow. That way, we are obeying the most important commandments. When we strive
to live a Christlike life, we are practicing following Christ. That way, we
will be comfortable with Him when we see Him again. Preach My Gospel concludes, “Learning to be like Christ is a lifelong pursuit. You follow Christ’s
example—develop His attributes—one action and decision at a time.” It is
never too late to make a good decision, to choose to do something kind, or to
take a step in the right direction.
