- Final update to my life coach on the evening before our 22nd coaching session:
Friday, October 9, 2020
Summary and Miracles (fourth and final thought download to my life coach on October 7, 2020)
Thursday, August 13, 2020
Chapter 26: Spiritual Learning
On July 23, 2018, I took a tour of UVU with my sister and her
oldest daughter, since she was considering coming here for college the following
year. At the end of the tour, we were walking past the back door of the Institute
of Religion and my sister wondered if the door was open. We went down to check
and it was. So we convinced her daughter to just be willing to check it out
with us. One of the teachers there gave us an impromptu tour, some tips about
good times to hang out there, and a plug for the inexpensive parking. At the
end of the tour, I mentioned that I was a student at UVU also. He surprised me
by saying I was eligible to take classes there too. That thought had never crossed
my mind previously and it planted a seed, in the same way it did during the original tour of UVU with our daughter. I took
a copy of the classes offered and looked over it when I returned home. I decided
to take Teachings of President Russell M. Nelson and two other classes,
but I wasn’t allowed to register for them online because I’m over the age of 30.
I called and the secretary told me she could register me if I came down there
in person. So I rushed back to the Institute before I lost my courage. I signed
up for two other classes on Monday and Wednesday as well, since my UVU classes were on Tuesday and Thursday.
On July 30th, my sister
and I met a family friend for breakfast at the Kneaders near our home. She gave
my sister a book titled Joseph Smith’s First Vision: A Guide to the Historical
Accounts by Steven C. Harper. I spontaneously decided to go along with my
sister up to Temple Square that day. She was meeting a friend for lunch and I
thought it would be a peaceful experience to get away, walk around Temple
Square, and read that book in preparation for beginning Institute classes the
following month. We separated when we arrived and I wandered through Temple Square
taking pictures. Then I watched the panoramic short movie of the first vision
in the Church History Museum and it felt like I was there in the sacred grove
with Joseph. I just stayed seated after the film ended and pondered about how
grateful I was that he had the courage to pray and find answers for himself. I
decided to stay and watch it again. A Japanese family came in and sat down,
which meant the film was shown in their language. It helped me feel the Spirit
even stronger when I couldn’t understand the words being said. That experience
was the perfect preparation for reading the book later. After the film ended, I
looked around the museum and paid special attention to the Kirtland time period,
since our parents were currently serving a mission in Historic Kirtland. I didn’t
feel like doing anything else, so after I took a picture of the Christus statue
in the North Visitors Center, I sat on a chair below the ramp leading up to it.
I rested my leg and started to read my sister’s book.
I decided to walk around a little
more after reading for about 45 minutes. So I headed over to the Joseph Smith
Memorial Building. I rode the elevator up to the tenth floor to see the view
and read a little more of the book on a bench just down the hall from the fountain
and restaurants. Then I rode the elevator back down to the mezzanine level to
listen to the beautiful piano music coming from the lobby below.
After listening to the music for a few minutes, I felt ready to read some more. So I sat in the chapel and read while I waited for my sister to meet me after her lunch. The book discusses the different accounts of Joseph Smith’s first vision from a historical scholarly perspective. The short movie I watched earlier blended a few details from the different accounts to provide a fuller perspective of Joseph’s reasons for praying that day. The different accounts were told at different times to different people in different settings. To me, if each telling were exactly the same, that would make me feel like it was fabricated – like he memorized a story he made up. Each time he shared the story, he discussed different details to fit the audience. The whole afternoon was a very spiritual experience for me with plenty of time to ponder and pray about what I was reading.
The appearance of Heavenly Father
and Jesus Christ to Joseph, not only ushered in a new dispensation with Priesthood
power on the earth, but also explained more about Their character. Heavenly
Father called Joseph by name, which meant He knew him and cared about the
concerns of this fourteen year old farm boy from a poor family. He introduced
Jesus and asked Joseph to “Hear Him.” This vision showed that They were two
distinct and separate Beings. It also demonstrated the complete trust Heavenly
Father has in Jesus as the Savior of all mankind. I’m grateful that I took the
time to visit the Christus statue as well. My testimony is centered in Jesus
Christ. I’m so grateful for His perfect life, which showed us the way to live
ours. I’m even more grateful for His atoning sacrifice for each of us. This
selfless sacrifice included His suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane, more agonizing
suffering on the cross, and His resurrection on the third day. Because of Him,
we will all be resurrected. Through His grace, we have the opportunity to
repent, forgive, progress, change, and become more like Him in the process. This
experience only strengthened the testimony and I know I was inspired to
spontaneously join my sister that day.
When I walked into the Institute on
the first day of class, I was overwhelmed by the peaceful Spirit in that building.
It was even more tangible than I feel it in the temple. I was grateful for the
opportunity to spend more time in another building dedicated for holy purposes.
I immediately loved my teacher for Teachings of President Russell M. Nelson
and felt a desire to talk with her as often as possible after class. I soaked
up the information in each class and took pictures of most of the slides so
that I could revisit what I was learning. I also became friends with two female
students - one sat behind me and the other sat next to me at the other end of the
row. I believe that the teacher and one of those friends were a big part of the
reason I was supposed to attend Institute. That is the teacher who encouraged me
on the last day I attended class to pay more attention to references in the temple
endowment session about the cross. I discuss that later in the chapter titled “Being
Tutored in the Temple.”
I enjoyed the lesson in the other
two classes on that first day, but I also knew I wasn’t supposed to take them after
all. Along with that thought, I unexpectedly had a strong desire to try to graduate
from Institute, which was not on my radar at all. So I went to talk to the
secretaries about the possibility of transferring my religion credits from BYU.
Two of the secretaries lived in the 5th ward of our previous stake
and the other one was related to a family in the 3rd ward. What are
the odds of that? I wasn’t ever able to visit them when I lived there, so I
thought this might be an opportunity to get to know them better. They agreed to
transfer both classes from Fall semester 1992, which was such a relief and meant
that nothing had been wasted from that original college experience! My Sharing
the Gospel class transferred as an elective and they were willing to allow
my Book of Mormon class to count as one of the core classes in place of Eternal
Families, since I just didn’t think it was a good idea to expose myself to ideal
teachings with my current family situation. In order to graduate, I needed to
take three core classes, so I knew I needed to start that semester. I wasn’t
sure which core class to choose, so I asked the secretaries for suggestions.
They suggested I talk to one of the teachers and so I went to the classroom
where his class was just finishing. He immediately reminded me of my dad and he
actually knew my dad. That was enough of a reason to take the class from him,
so I registered for Foundations of the Restoration and began attending the
next class.
I signed up to give a short devotional at the
beginning of the following class on August 27, 2018. I’m including that here. “In
Words
of Mormon, Mormon abridges the large plates of Nephi and he puts the small
plates with the other plates. Verse 7 says, ‘And I do this for a wise
purpose; for thus it whispereth me, according to the workings of the Spirit of
the Lord which is in me. And now, I do not know all things; but the Lord
knoweth all things which are to come; wherefore, he worketh in me to do
according to his will.’
This verse is explaining how the Lord prepared a way
for the work not to be frustrated when Joseph lost the 116 pages. But, in
a personal application, I have been so grateful for the promptings of the
Spirit when I'm trying to figure out my next steps. That happened to me
last Wednesday. I was prompted to go to the temple before class and put all of
my temple cards in my backpack. I didn't know why, but I know better not to
follow a prompting. During the session, I was given a stronger prompting to ask
others if they would like to help with some of the names. That wasn't something
I planned. I feel like it should be a priority
for each of us to find our own family names to take to the temple. But a couple
of older ladies in my previous ward asked me to help them with their names,
which I did for several years. And that laid the foundation for finding my own
names. I hope that will be the case with the people who help me as well. I
know that personal revelation is a gift from Heavenly Father. I'm so grateful
to Joseph Smith for following his prompting to pray out loud and ask God for
more wisdom.” I passed around a sign-up sheet after that, even though I probably
wasn’t supposed to. Several students signed up and continued to help me with my
temple work all semester. Three kind returned missionary guys helped me with
several endowments each. Two female students in that class and also my two friends
in the other class helped with baptisms, confirmations, initiatories, and a couple
of endowments. In addition, I kept running into a guy I met in the class I
dropped. I asked if he would be willing to help also and he did several initiatories
and endowments as well. It was clear that the Lord orchestrated which classes I
should take and I’m so grateful for those divine intersections.
On September 7, 2018, I was prompted to attend the Friday noon devotional where Steve Harper spoke about the new book titled Saints that he helped edit. (He is the author of the book on Joseph Smith that I spent an afternoon reading at Temple Square in July.) I didn’t realize that my dad taught with him in the BYU religion department several years ago. When my teacher found out about that connection, she spontaneously invited me to the speaker’s luncheon afterward.
I decided to visit my parents on their
mission over Fall break. So I flew there by myself and had a good experience staying
with them in their apartment and touring the nearby historic sites. In fact, I
wrote my final paper on my visit to Kirtland and Hiram, Ohio on October 18-19,
2018. I’m including part of it here. “Before flying to see my missionary parents in Historic Kirtland, I
learned about the areas I would visit in our Foundations of the Restoration class. In the three classes
preceding my trip, we discussed lessons titled “The Vision” (Doctrine and Covenants 76), “The Kirtland Temple and Priesthood Keys”
(Doctrine and Covenants 109-110), and “Strength Amid Opposition” (Doctrine and
Covenants 112, 121, and 122). I’m grateful for the deeper perspective my visit
gave to the events that I learned about in class.
We visited the John Johnson home on
the first day I was there. It is located in Hiram, Ohio (about 45 minutes away
from Historic Kirtland). My parents and I were the only visitors on the tour,
so we were able to take our time and I felt the Spirit confirm to me the
importance of this place. Joseph and Emma Smith lived there while Joseph worked
on the translation of the Bible (JST). He and Sidney Rigdon received the vision
of the degrees of glory in the upper room of the Johnson home and it was
recorded as Doctrine and Covenants section 76. The missionary who led the tour
took a picture of my parents and I in that room where the Savior was seen in a
vision!
A mob of men violently dragged Joseph from the Johnson home one night, beat him unmercifully, and poured tar and feathers on him…. He made his way back to the house later that night, and the women there helped to remove the tar and feathers. He recovered enough to preach a sermon on the front steps of that home the next morning and was able to identify members of the mob among the group. I am impressed with the Christlike attributes of forgiveness and humility that the prophet Joseph Smith demonstrated.
The Kirtland Temple was the first temple to be built in this dispensation (D&C 88:119). It was dedicated in March 1836 (D&C 109) and the Savior appeared there to accept it as a place where He would reveal His word (D&C 110:1-10). After that, Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery were visited by Moses, Elias, and Elijah—they each restored priesthood keys for this dispensation (D&C 110:11-16). Moses restored the keys to the gathering of the lost tribes of Israel (I think of that as missionary work or proclaiming the gospel). Elias is a title and the Abrahamic Covenant was restored through him (I think of that as temple marriage or perfecting the saints). Elijah restored the sealing power (I think of that as redeeming the dead, where the hearts of the children are turned to their fathers and vice versa). Joseph Smith also saw a vision of the celestial kingdom in the Kirtland Temple (D&C 137) and I love verse 9, which explains that we will be judged by our works and the desires of our heart. That gives me great comfort because good people always seem to have a desire to do more than they actually end up doing, so we get credit for both. We have a very merciful and loving God.
The last place we visited was the
Isaac Morley farm, which is a couple of miles away from the main Historic
Kirtland site. My dad bent a smaller limb down from one of the large trees on
the farm, so that I could have a leaf from a tree that existed during the time
of Joseph Smith. I appreciated learning that Isaac Morley stayed true to his
faith, in spite of opposition. He and his wife, Mary, were some of the first
converts to the Church in Ohio. At the time of their conversion, several
friends lived on their farm and shared a communal lifestyle. Later, they better
understood the higher law of consecration and were willing to eventually
sacrifice their farm when the Lord commanded it. I’m very grateful for the
faith, dedication, and courage of the early Saints, which makes it possible for
me to enjoy the blessings of the gospel and temple work today.”
I shared
my family situation in relation to the church with the sister missionaries during
the tour. At the end of the tour, they shared a quote by James E. Faust with me.
“In the pain, the agony, and the heroic
endeavors of life, we pass through a refiner’s fire, and the insignificant and
the unimportant in our lives can melt away like dross and make our faith
bright, intact, and strong.” He continued, “This change comes about through a
refining process which often seems…hard. In this way the soul can become like
soft clay in the hands of the Master in building lives of faith, usefulness,
beauty, and strength. For some, the refiner’s fire causes a loss of belief and
faith in God, but those with eternal perspective understand that such refining
is part of the perfection process. In our extremities, it is possible to become
born again, born anew, renewed in heart and spirit….This trial of faith can
become a priceless experience. Stated Peter, ‘That the trial of your faith,
being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with
fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus
Christ’ (1 Peter 1:7). Trials and adversity can be preparatory
to becoming born anew. A rebirth out of spiritual adversity causes us to become
new creatures… born of God, changed, redeemed, and uplifted—to become the sons and daughters of God. (See Mosiah 27:24–27.)” (“The
Refiner’s Fire,” Ensign, May 1979).
No other
semester compared with that first semester with those two classes hand-picked
just for me. However, I still enjoyed and was uplifted by the other classes I
took at the Institute. In Spring 2019, I
took a second core class, Teachings and Doctrines of the Book of Mormon.
In Summer 2019, I took three classes, so I could graduate and focus solely on
my last semester at UVU in Fall 2019. During first term of Summer, I took my
last core class, Jesus Christ and the Everlasting Gospel. I also took an
elective taught by the Institute director, Repentance and Forgiveness. It
was a powerful class and I met another friend who I have stayed in touch with occasionally
since then. Both teachers and that friend were helpful in supporting me after I
found out our daughter and her boyfriend were going to have a baby.
I
took my last class during second term of Summer, Witnesses of Christ. There
was only one other female student in that class and she didn’t participate
much, so it was like having my own personal lesson with the teacher each time
we met. Two ideas have stayed with me from that class. First, Nephi and Laban were
types and shadows of Christ and Satan. In 1 Nephi 4:10, 18-19 it says that
Nephi “shrunk and would that I might not… I did obey the voice of the Spirit…
and I did gird on his armor…” This can be loosely compared to the Savior
describing His intense suffering in Gethsemane, “…and would that I might not drink the bitter cup, and
shrink—Nevertheless, glory be to the Father, and I partook and finished my
preparations unto the children of men” (Doctrine
and Covenants 19:18-19). Nephi cut off Laban’s head and put on his armor,
which symbolizes Christ’s full victory over Satan. I would have never discovered
that comparison personally and I was grateful for the way this teacher helped
me to look deeper in the scriptures. Second, I learned, “marvel not, neither should
(you) doubt” (Alma
5:49). Marveling about miracles (and spiritual experiences) does not produce
faith. Instead, it produces doubt. Saying, “I can’t believe it” when something
good happens, actually shows doubt and not faith. Don’t say, “I know I was praying
for it, but I can’t believe it actually happened.” Instead, thank the Lord for His
blessing, which you expected, and continue on with faith. That was another
principle I would have never thought of on my own. I’m grateful for teachers
who study and teach with the Spirit.
I have
always appreciated the eloquence of a quote by Parley P. Pratt, ever since I
first heard my dad quote it when I was a teenager. I discovered it again in Doctrines
of the Gospel Student Manual. “An intelligent being, in the image of God,
possesses every organ, attribute, sense, sympathy, affection, that is possessed
by God himself…. These attributes are in embryo, and are to be gradually
developed. They resemble a bud, a germ, which gradually develops into bloom,
and then, by progress, produces the mature fruit after its own kind. The gift
of the Holy Ghost adapts itself to all these organs or attributes. It quickens
all the intellectual faculties, increases, enlarges, expands, and purifies all
the natural passions and affections, and adapts them, by the gift of wisdom, to
their lawful use. It inspires, develops, cultivates, and matures all the
fine-toned sympathies, joys, tastes, kindred feelings, and affections of our nature.
It inspires virtue, kindness, goodness, tenderness, gentleness, and charity….”
(Key to the Science of Theology, 61–62; quoted in
“The
Gift of the Holy Ghost,” Doctrines of
the Gospel Student Manual). I am grateful for these strengthening and enhancing
blessings.
In the video “Wrong Roads,” Jeffery R. Holland explains, “ There are times when the only way to get from A to C is by way of B…. Noting that the sun was going down, (he and his son) decided we better get back. But we came back to a particular fork in the road, really the only one, that at that point, was absolutely unrecognizable. I asked my son to pray about which road to take, and he felt strongly that we should go to the right.... I did as well, and we went to the right and it was a dead end. We went four or five or six hundred yards and it was an absolute dead end, clearly the wrong road. We turned around, came back out, took the other road, and clearly the road to the left was the correct road. Somewhere along the way, Matt said, ‘Dad, why did we feel, after praying about it, that the right road was the proper one to take, the correct one to take, and it wasn't?’ And I said, ‘I think that the Lord, His wish for us there, and his answer to our prayer was to get us on the right road as quickly as possible with some reassurance, with some understanding, that we were on the right road and we didn't have to worry about it. And, in this case, the easiest way to do that was to let us go 400 yards or 500 yards on the wrong road, and very quickly know, without a doubt, that it was the wrong road, and therefore with equal certainty with equal conviction that the other one was the right road.’ I have absolute certain knowledge, perfect knowledge, that God loves us. He is good, He is our Father, and He expects us to pray, and trust, and be believing, and not give up, and not panic, and not retreat, and not jump ship, when something doesn't seem to be going just right. We stay in, we keep working, we keep believing, keep trusting, following that same path and we will live to fall in His arms and feel His embrace and hear Him say, ‘I told you that it'd be okay, I told you it would be all right.’” I have been grateful for the times when my prayers have been answered in a similar way.
Richard G. Scott explained, “What do you do when you have
prepared carefully, have prayed fervently, waited a reasonable time for a
response, and still do not feel an answer? You may want to express thanks when
that occurs, for it is an evidence of His trust. When you are living worthily
and your choice is consistent with the Savior’s teachings and you need to act,
proceed with trust. … When you are living righteously and are acting with
trust, God will not let you proceed too far without a warning impression if you
have made the wrong decision” (“Using the Supernal Gift of Prayer,” Ensign, May 2007). I have
experienced this idea of moving forward unless I feel stopped by the Spirit,
rather than waiting for the Spirit to prompt me in every action.
Another
lesson came when I prayed for a stronger testimony of prophets and apostles in
the temple on a Tuesday evening. This was during a difficult time when I was still
sorting out my feelings around my family’s unbelief. I received an unmistakable
answer from the scriptures during Gospel Doctrine class that Sunday on May 9, 2016. “…the Spirit speaketh the truth and lieth
not. Wherefore, it speaketh of things as they really are, and of things as they really will be; wherefore, these
things are manifested unto us plainly, for the
salvation of our souls. But behold, we are not witnesses alone in these things;
for God also spake them unto
prophets…” (Jacob
4:13). I attached this note to the verse in Gospel Library, “We can know of
a surety that prophets and seers speak truth by the second witness of the
Spirit who we can always trust to testify of truth.” I will end with a basic spiritual
lesson I’ve learned. Repetition in the gospel is a good thing because it helps
us know what we need to focus on most. When I notice repeated words in scriptures,
like “remember, remember” or when I notice repeated themes in General Conference
talks, I have learned to pay attention, rather than tune them out because they
may seem redundant. That lesson has served me well time and time again.
Tuesday, August 11, 2020
Chapter 32: Family History Fun (part 2)
I'm
still not finished with this chapter, so I'm going to post this and continue
working on it tomorrow.
Miracles
and divine intersections continued regularly during the following two years. On
April 5, 2018, my sister in North Carolina found an entire family of our
ancestors when she followed up on a notification for Cornelia Driesprong (2nd cousin
of our grandma’s dad) that Family Search sent her daughter in February. The
temple closest to my sister was now closed for long-term renovations, so I
reserved the work for the Driesprong family. The next day, on April 6th, my mom
forwarded a notification to me that Family Search sent her back in March for
Jansje Cornelia Kruidenier (4th cousin of our grandma’s dad).
As I looked at her family members, I noticed that all of her mom’s temple work
had been completed in 1961, except for her being sealed to her parents. So
that's how I found her parents, Pieter van der Wel and Maria den Boer, who also
needed all of their work done. So I reserved the work for the Kruidenier family,
along with their grandparents. That meant I could do the baptism and
confirmation of a grandma at the same time as several of her granddaughters. I
printed out all of those cards and invited one of my walking friends to go with
me to begin the temple work for these families the next day on April 7th.
I
returned to the Provo Temple on April 12, 2018 to do the initiatories for these
female ancestors. After I arrived, I met a kind woman at the initiatory desk
who offered to help me complete half of them. Because of that, I also had time
to do one of the endowments, and I ended up sitting by that same kind woman
during the session. I looked her up later on Facebook and sent her a message.
We decided to meet at the Provo Temple again the following week, so we could
get to know each other better. I went a couple of hours early on April 19th to
wait in the baptistry for the male ordinances to be completed. Then I asked a
kind man to take those completed cards into the male dressing room, so the initiatories
could possibly be completed while I was in the endowment session. When my
friend arrived, we went to the cafeteria to visit while we ate lunch prior to
the endowment session. As I waited for her at a table, I noticed an older man
sitting in the corner of the cafeteria and I felt prompted to go over and talk
with him. I explained that seven of my male temple cards were in the men’s
dressing room and I wasn’t sure if the work was actually being done or not. He
understood my plight. Since he was almost finished with his meal, he would
check to see if they were completed. If they weren’t, he promised he would do
them for me. I was very grateful for his kindness. He came back a few minutes
later with the completed cards. He then surprised me by explaining that he
spent every day in the temple and completed three endowment sessions each day.
This was a Thursday and he said he could have those cards completed for me by
Saturday. I immediately jumped up and gave him a big hug, before I realized
that it may not have been appropriate. He laughed and said he would take a hug
like that anytime, just like he would from a granddaughter. I was overcome with
joy in that moment and felt extremely grateful for this obvious divine
intersection.
True
to his word, the endowments were completed by Saturday afternoon. As soon as
the notification appeared on Family Search, I gathered the other cards I had
been working on during the previous two weeks and drove to the temple to help
complete the sealings. President Freestone was the sealer that day, which made
the experience even more sacred. (Our families know each other and I didn’t
realize that he had become a sealer on the day before my birthday in February –
which is when this journey began for me. He and his wife now have a special
place in my heart). I briefly shared the experiences that brought me to that
session and he commented later on how contagious my enthusiasm was. Over the
following year, I occasionally asked Heavenly Father to bless that kind man who
helped to complete those seven male endowments for me. I wondered if our paths
would ever cross again, since he was there each day and my time at the temple
had increased. That time would come later.
I was asked to give a presentation
to the youth in our ward on the blessings of temple and family history work.
That presentation occurred on May 20, 2018 and I was grateful to have the
experiences of the previous month to share with them. I also used a Conference
talk by Dale G. Renlund as my theme. He explained, “When God directs us to do
one thing, He often has many purposes in mind. Family history and temple work
is not only for the dead but blesses the living as well…. We (can) identify our
own ancestors who died without receiving the ordinances of salvation. We can
perform the ordinances vicariously in temples, and our ancestors may choose to
accept the ordinances. We are also encouraged to help ward and stake
members with their family names. It is… amazing that, through family history and
temple work, we can help to redeem the dead. But as we participate in family
history and temple work today, we also lay claim to ‘healing’ blessings…. This
long list includes these blessings: increased understanding of the Savior and
His atoning sacrifice; increased influence of the Holy Ghost to feel
strength and direction for our own lives; increased faith, so that conversion
to the Savior becomes deep and abiding; …increased joy through an increased
ability to feel the love of the Lord; …increased love and appreciation for
ancestors and living relatives, so we no longer feel alone; …increased
protection from… the intensifying influence of the adversary; and increased
assistance to mend troubled, broken, or anxious hearts and make the wounded
whole. If you have prayed for any of these blessings, participate in family
history and temple work. As you do so, your prayers will be answered” (“Family History and Temple Work: Sealing and Healing,” Ensign,
May 2018).
He
continued, “When ordinances are performed on behalf of the deceased, God’s
children on earth are healed. No wonder President Russell M. Nelson, in
his first message as President of the Church, declared, ‘Your worship in the
temple and your service there for your ancestors will bless you with increased
personal revelation and peace and will fortify your commitment to stay on the
covenant path.’ An earlier prophet also foresaw blessings for both the living
and the dead. A heavenly messenger showed Ezekiel a vision of a temple
with water gushing out of it…. Two characteristics of the water are noteworthy.
First, …meaningful growth occurs going backward and forward through the
generations as sealing ordinances weld families together. Second, the river
renewed everything that it touched. The blessings of the temple likewise have a
stunning capacity to heal. Temple blessings can heal hearts and lives and
families” (“Family History and Temple Work: Sealing and Healing,” Ensign,
May 2018).
I
feel like the blessings of the temple have made every part of my life better.
It hasn’t solved all my problems, but it has given me strength to deal with
them better. Each time I complete the temple ordinances for an ancestor, I
believe they become another angel that can help strengthen me and my family
when life is difficult. Temple work is an amazing kind of service because
the people who have died can’t do this work themselves. So we are literally
helping Christ to save them. He has the power to do it all on His own, but he
allows us to help Him. I shared with the youth how the temple helps us grow up
in a more spiritual way. This scripture passage explains what I mean, “…Do thou
grant, Holy Father, that all those who shall worship in this house….may grow up
in thee, and receive a fulness of the Holy Ghost… and be prepared to obtain
every needful thing” (Doctrine and Covenants 109:14-15). Dale G.
Renlund concluded, “President Russell M. Nelson, however, cautioned: ‘We
can be inspired all day long about temple and family history experiences others
have had. But we must do something to actually experience the joy ourselves.’
He continued, ‘I invite you to prayerfully consider what kind of
sacrifice—preferably a sacrifice of time—you can make [to] do more temple and
family history work’” (“Family History and Temple Work: Sealing and Healing,” Ensign,
May 2018). I thought I wouldn’t ever be able to figure out how to do
family history work, but I’ve been so grateful that Heavenly Father
knew exactly what was needed and provided a way through these miraculous
experiences.
Sunday, August 9, 2020
Chapter 32: Family History Fun
It is important, for many reasons, to know where you came from. One of those reasons is the strength of your ancestors, and the way they overcame challenges, can strengthen you.
One of my ancestors is Lijntje van Wijnen. She is my maternal grandma. When she was five years old, she sailed to America from Rotterdam, South Holland in the Netherlands. She made the trip with her recently widowed mom and they arrived at Ellis Island in New York on January 2, 1923. At that time, her name was changed to Lena Van Wynen. She and her mom boarded a train and traveled to Ogden, Utah. The missionary who baptized her parents a few years earlier met them there. She eventually married my grandpa, Lowell Carter Burns. My mom is their only daughter, born between four older and two younger brothers. I am my mom’s oldest daughter. I lived with my Grandma Burns for a semester when I attended Weber State College in 1990. I still feel a special bond with her.
Genealogical research is a priority of The
Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Their online program, Family Search,
is an amazing tool for family history research. Prior to that, my paternal grandma
worked tirelessly on the genealogy for her side of the family and recorded it on
long horizontal family group sheets. However, very little work had been done my
maternal line. I always thought family history work was basically impossible
for me and I never completed any work other than a four generation pedigree sheet
on both sides of my family.
In
January 2018, I was still trying to write this book, but it became too
overwhelming. So I decided to just work on it as my personal history instead. During
that same time, my parents were preparing to serve another mission. One evening,
my mom showed me some treasures she found while going through boxes. They
included her mom’s journal, several important documents, old letters, and some
pictures. My mom allowed me to take them home so I could look at them more
closely. I immediately began typing a copy of the handwritten pages from my
grandma’s journal. She wrote less than 20 pages and it ended after their first
child was born. I was fascinated with what she had written, though, and was grateful to learn a little more about
her early life. At the end of January, I received an email notification from Family
Search letting me know that temple work still needed to be completed for an
ancestor named Jaapje Buitelaar. She is the maternal fourth cousin of my Grandma
Burns. I usually just disregarded those notices, but I felt different this
time. I clicked on the link, printed out a temple card for her, and that was
the first step in my family history journey.
Meanwhile, my sister had been doing family
history work for a while. She lived in North Carolina at that time and the
temple closest to them would be closing for long-term renovations shortly. When
I told her about my unexpected change of heart, she asked if I would be willing
to finish the temple work for 13 remaining ancestors. I agreed and invited my
mom to help me. So we went to the Mt. Timpanogos Temple on my birthday the next
week. I was recovering from a cold, but I thought it would be neat to have my birth date
stamped on all 14 of those cards (for Jaapje and the 13 my sister transferred
to me). My nieces had acted as proxy for the baptisms and confirmations of
these 13 ancestors. So my mom and I acted as proxy for the initiatory ordinance
of each one. The initiatory is a beautiful ordinance, which takes place prior
to the endowment. It is a much shorter ordinance, so more can be done at one
time. My
mom and I had to wait two different times, but we were each able to do the
initiatories for seven ancestors. It
was a memorable and sacred experience for both of us, in addition to being a great way to celebrate
my 46th birthday. I returned to the temple on February 8th
to be proxy for Jaapje’s endowment, which was also a very special experience.
Later in February 2018, I wrote the following partial entry
in my journal. “I've recently become painfully aware of my human weakness as
I’ve continued to visit with people over the past few weeks. So I have been
prompted to shift my focus to compiling my personal history and working on my
family history and temple work. I'm hoping I will make less mistakes with the
dead than I have with the living. However, it's a miracle that someone who has
struggled as much as I have with depression and social anxiety was able to
visit as much as I did in the first place. God did way more with that
experience than I could have ever done on my own. I'm so grateful for the
opportunities he gave me to try to help and lift others in my very small way.” I
discussed three of those divine intersections with Janell, her half-sister and
niece in chapter 24. I accompanied Janell’s niece to complete her initiatory
and endowment on May 12, 2015. Since that time, I met her niece for lunch on
several different occasions, but she never felt ready to help seal Janell and
her husband, along with sealing their two children to them. (Even though Dee and Janell weren’t active in the
church, they did have their children’s temple work done after each of their
tragic deaths.) I was anxious to
participate in that sealing because it felt like the beginning of the happy
ending for their family, since they are all now together after 20 years of separation.
However, I knew it needed to be on their relative’s timetable, not mine.
Several miracles occurred shortly after I wrote that
bittersweet journal entry. Janell's niece visited me spontaneously on the afternoon
of February 20th to deliver an invitation to her upcoming civil wedding.
She explained that she had already waited too long to help seal Janell’s family,
she handed me the temple cards, and asked me to do it in her behalf. I could
not believe it! I was so honored for the privilege and opportunity she had literally
just handed me. I was already planning to help seal Jaapje to her husband the
next day and I was so grateful for the chance to help with this important
sealing in the same session. I remember praying that our house wouldn't burn
down while we slept or that I wouldn't get in a wreck on the way to the
temple... because I had been waiting for this day since Janell’s niece completed
her endowment almost five years before.
I made it safely to the Mt. Timpanogos Temple the next
morning. I acted as proxy for Jaapje as she was sealed to Jacobus Borstlap. Then
I had the privilege of being proxy for Janell as she was sealed to Dee in the
same session. Immediately after their sealing, I had the privilege of being proxy
for their daughter, as I helped seal her and her older brother to Dee and
Janell in the next ordinance. I cried tears of joy through all three
ordinances. I wondered if Janell and Dee were permitted to watch the ordinances
from where they were in the next life and I hoped they knew how much I love
them. Toward the end of the session, I thought I heard a voice in my mind that
said, “Hi Wendi Bird,” which is a reference from Peter Pan and it's what
Dee used to say to me when I came over to walk with Janell. (In case that wasn’t
enough of a tender mercy, right after I heard Dee’s voice in my mind, someone
with the last name of Darling was sealed – that was Wendy's last name in Peter
Pan!) I hadn't thought of that nickname in a long time. I took it as a sign
that they were happy and accepting of my gift to them and their children. I am
looking forward to the day when I can see them in the next life. I feel very
connected to their family now. I kept alternating between a big grin and tears for
many hours following the sealing session.
I remember feeling like
I could finally be at peace about Janell for the first time since the Monday
after Easter 2014 when I found out she passed away. Another interesting side
note is that Jaapje and Jacobus had a son named Cornelis. Cornelis married
Maria de Groot and I printed out a temple card for her just three weeks after
our daughter told us she was pregnant in May 2019. The interesting thing about
that is DeGroot is the last name of our grandson and his father. I just noticed
that recently and it was another sweet moment when I was reminded that God is
aware of me and my circumstances.
I also had the opportunity to attend the wedding of
Janell’s niece just two days later on February 23rd. It was a very
snowy day and I wondered if it was worth attending as my car slipped and slid
through the snow on my drive to the Provo city courthouse. She asked me to be
one of the witnesses when I arrived, so she now has a marriage certificate with
my signature on it. After the ceremony, I joined her, her two cute kids, her
new husband, and several other family members at Pizza Factory for lunch
afterward. That gave me the opportunity to talk with Janell’s half-sister for
the first time in quite a while. I was grateful that I made the effort to support
their family. I visited with my good friend who was the Relief Society president
during my experience with Janell. I explained to her again how I thought I was
in Janell’s life to save her life, but I was so confused when she died. This
friend explained to me that I actually was in her life to help the Savior save
her in my small way. I am grateful for the miracles that have occurred to help
all of this happen in God's perfect timing. I know that Heavenly Father works
miracles in our lives. I’m very grateful that He allows us to help in these
miracles that we could never make happen ourselves. I know that the greatest miracle
of all is the atonement of Jesus Christ. I'm so grateful for His mercy and
grace. I know that we can have “more freedom from earth stains” as we partake
of the sacrament and attend the temple.
Saturday, August 8, 2020
Chapter 31: Being Tutored in the Temple
I
have heard the counsel to “begin with the end in mind” in both secular and
religious venues. In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, everything
we do leads us to the temple. Temples are a place where we worship in a higher
and holier way than even our Sunday worship services. In the temple, each adult
receives a gift of spiritual knowledge and makes sacred covenants with God in an
ordinance called an endowment. In each endowment session, we watch a movie
which depicts God’s creation of the earth and then we learn more about the
experience of Adam and Eve. The whole ordinance is centered on the Savior and His
atoning sacrifice for each of us. It is a place where couples are married “for time
and all eternity” by the power of the Priesthood in an ordinance which is
called a sealing. The words “until death do you part” are not included in that
ceremony. After we have received our own endowment and made our covenants
personally, we are able to then act as proxy for our ancestors who died without
receiving these ordinances. We give them this gift because we love them, but
they are under no obligation to accept these ordinances in their behalf. A high
standard of morality in thought and action are required of each person who
enters these holy buildings and we wear a sacred undergarment to remind us throughout
each day of the covenants we’ve made there. Every temple is dedicated to the
Lord after an open house for the general public. Next to the entrance of each
temple is inscribed “The House of the Lord – Holiness to the Lord.” Each person
who enters the temple, changes into white temple clothes to symbolize purity.
It also limits worldly distraction and helps us feel equal with each person
there. I love being in the temple. A feeling of peace washes over me when I
enter those doors and I feel very close to the Savior when I’m there.
In April 2014, I had a special
experience in the temple which let me know unmistakably that God, who I call my
Heavenly Father, was aware of me and my circumstances. I attended the sealing of a friend’s daughter in the Mt. Timpanogos
Temple. I was considering staying to do an endowment session, but I decided to
return home instead. On the drive home, I was strongly prompted that I needed
to briefly stop at our house to pick up my temple clothes and one of my friend’s
family names, and go to the Provo Temple instead. That seemed strange to go
from one temple to another, but I have learned not to doubt when I feel those
promptings. For some reason, I had a question about a doctrinal issue during
the session that I haven’t been bothered by before or since. At the end of the
session, I asked one of the temple workers about it and her response was that I
needed to talk to the temple president. That seemed a little drastic to me, but
another temple worker responded the same way. A third temple worker explained
that I needed to sign my name on a list and they would try to fit me into
President Stone’s busy schedule. It turned
out that he was just sitting at his office desk with no appointments for 20
minutes and he immediately invited me in.
I knew that he would probably
ask me to share my thoughts about this concern and so I had come to a decision on
what I would tell him. That is exactly how the conversation went. When I told
him what I had decided, he leaned back in his chair and looked at me for a few
long seconds as he thought about what I had said. Then he smiled with a twinkle
in his eye and surprised me by saying I had been given a gift and I should go
with that inspiration. His reaction and counsel immediately wiped the concern
from my mind. So I decided to be brave and ask him one more question about how
I could best deal with the situation of my husband no longer believing or
attending the temple with me. He “just happened” to have a brother and
sister-in-law with a very similar circumstance and she was dealing with it in
the same way I was – trying to continue on with my personal belief and worship.
We talked about that for a few minutes as he continued to lean back in his
chair. He then leaned forward, looked in my eyes, and very clearly told me that
the Lord was pleased with me and that He knew I was doing the best I could with
a difficult circumstance. I really needed to hear that because it was the day
before General Conference and I have often felt discouraged in the past when
I’m not able to follow the counsel that the prophet and apostles give as well
as I would like to. As I walked out of the temple that afternoon, I realized I
had just experienced another “divine intersection.” If I had stayed longer at
home, I would have missed that 20 minute window of time where the temple
president was available in his office. I was grateful for the reassurance I was
given and felt it was coming straight from the Lord.
As I mentioned before,
the temple endowment is centered on the Savior’s atonement. On the last day I
attended class in November 2018, one of my institute teachers encouraged me to
focus specifically on the crucifixion of Christ (and its emphasis in modern
scripture) in relation to the temple endowment. She challenged me to begin by
reading a passage in The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ.
Jesus visited the people on the American continent after His crucifixion and
taught them, “Behold I have given unto you my gospel, and this is the gospel
which I have given unto you—that I came into the world
to do the will of my Father, because my Father sent me. And my Father sent me
that I might be lifted up upon the cross: and after that I had been lifted up
upon the cross, that I might draw all men unto me…” (3
Nephi 27:14-15).
I took her
challenge seriously and that was the beginning of a very spiritual
month filled with personal revelation as I tried to discover what aspect of the
crucifixion she was referring to. On November 14th, I asked for some
further light and knowledge as I sat in the temple baptistry waiting for some
ordinances to be completed. I was immediately reminded of another passage in The
Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ, which brought tears to
my eyes. “...They may
forget, yet will I not forget thee, O house of Israel.
Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually
before me. (1
Nephi 21:15-16; see also Isaiah 49:15-16). I have loved that imagery ever
since I discovered it earlier in my life.
On November 16th, I was
waiting in the temple again and I looked up two other passages in The Book
of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ. “...Moses... hath spoken concerning
the coming of the Messiah. Yea, did he not bear record that the Son of God should come?
And as he lifted up the brazen serpent in the wilderness, even so shall he be
lifted up who should come. And as many as should look upon that serpent should live,
even so as many as should look upon the Son of God with faith, having a
contrite spirit, might live, even unto that life which is eternal”
(Helaman
8:13-15). I have loved
that symbolism ever since I first learned of it many years ago
also. Christ being crucified and lifted
up on the cross to suffer for our sins was a fulfillment of prophesy. I also love
the power of looking to Him to live.
During
His visit to the people on the American continent, Christ invited them to “Arise and come forth unto me, that
ye may thrust your hands into my side, and also that ye may feel the prints of
the nails in my hands and in my feet, that ye may know that I am the God of
Israel, and the God of the whole earth, and have been slain for the sins of the
world. And it came to pass that the multitude went forth… and this they did do,
going forth one by one until they had all gone forth, and did see with their
eyes and did feel with their hands, and did know of a surety and did bear
record, that it was he, of whom it was written by the prophets, that should
come. And when they had all gone forth and had witnessed for themselves, they
did cry out with one accord, saying: Hosanna! Blessed be the name of the Most
High God! And they did fall down at the feet of Jesus, and did worship him” (3
Nephi 11:14-17). The marks of the nails are proof of His suffering and love
for each of us individually. I look
forward to the day that I can worship Him in person as they did.
I
returned to the temple on November 17th and, this time, I will share
the exact words from my journal that evening. “I just finished an endowment
session and I am so grateful for the answers I was given! I don't think they
would have come had I not been so intent on looking for them the last two times
I was at the temple…Here are my basic thoughts: The blessings of Christ's name,
physical blessings, and blessings of Melchezidek Priesthood power in our
families come through the nail marks of the Savior's crucifixion. It was His
ultimate sacrifice to give us all the blessings that the Father has. And it's
the last thing we think about before we enter into the presence of the Father. Wow!
Personal revelation is so interesting. It seems so obvious after it comes. All
of a sudden it is just placed in our mind.
It
makes these promises in the Doctrine and Covenants even more powerful: ‘And all
saints who remember to keep and do these sayings, walking in obedience to the
commandments, shall receive health in their navel and marrow to their bones; And
shall find wisdom and great treasures of knowledge, even hidden treasures; And
shall run and not be weary, and shall walk and not faint. And I, the Lord, give
unto them a promise, that the destroying angel shall pass by them, as the
children of Israel…’ ( Doctrine
and Covenants 89:18-21).
The
importance of the Savior's name is emphasized in The Book of Mormon: Another
Testament of Jesus Christ. ‘…There shall be no other name given nor any
other way nor means whereby salvation can come unto the children of men, only
in and through the name of Christ, the Lord Omnipotent…. Believe that salvation
was, and is, and is to come, in and through the atoning blood of Christ, the
Lord Omnipotent. For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the
fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings
of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint
through the atonement of Christ the Lord…’ (Mosiah
3:17-19). As we submit our will to Heavenly Father, we are more fully
following the example of Christ. As we follow the example of Christ and take
upon us His name, we become more qualified to dwell in the presence of Him and
the Father forever.
I
just looked up another passage in Doctrine and Covenants and almost fell out of
my chair. ‘And the Lord confirmed a priesthood also upon Aaron and his seed, throughout
all their generations, which priesthood also continueth and abideth forever
with the priesthood which is after the holiest order of God. And this greater
priesthood administereth the gospel and holdeth the key of the mysteries of the
kingdom, even the key of the knowledge of God. Therefore, in the ordinances
thereof, the power of godliness is manifest. And without the ordinances
thereof, and the authority of the priesthood, the power of godliness is not
manifest unto men in the flesh; For without this no man can see the face of
God, even the Father, and live’ (D&C
84:18-23). I have never made these connections before, especially since I
usually stop before the last verse of that passage. Also, I didn't realize it
until my card was stamped, but today is the 26th anniversary of when I received
my endowments for the first time in the Jordan River Temple prior to my
mission. My mom also received her endowments on this day 25 years earlier than
I did. It's a big day in so many ways.”
I
returned to the temple on November 26th to find out if there was
anything else I needed to learn during this time of discovery. I realized that,
as we consecrate all that we have and are, the blessings that Heavenly Father
promises us are sure. The other thought I had during the session is that Christ
had seven different wounds from the crucifixion: one on each hand, one on each
wrist, one in his side, and one on each foot. For many years, I have associated
the number seven with symbolizing eternal things. I was grateful to have this association
validated by Alonzo Gaskill. “Seven is the most common of all symbolic numbers….It
represents fulness, completion, wholeness, spiritual perfection, and (entirety
or) totality. In Egypt it symbolized eternal life.” (The Lost Language of
Symbolism: An Essential Guide For Recognizing and Interpreting Symbols of the
Gospel, 343, 839). I attended another endowment session in the Mt.
Timpanogos Temple on December 21st. As I passed through the veil and
entered the celestial room, I noticed the other thing my teacher had mentioned
to me. The molding on the ceiling looks very much like a huge cross. That was a
neat way to end that learning experience – especially before celebrating Christmas.
My good friend and ministering sister sent me a quote in May 2019. It is from a chapter titled The Atoning Christ written by Terry and Fiona Givens. We previously discussed some of the a-ha moments I had experienced in the temple that year and this quote beautifully described what I learned. “The author of Hebrews invites the Christian to complete the pilgrim’s journey by entering into the presence of God himself—'to enter into the holiest.’…Entry into God’s presence can only be ‘by the blood of Christ.’… We effectively pass through Christ’s broken body… back into God’s presence. The Atonement is the pain-drenched portal through which alone access is to be found… The temple veil…becomes the physical counterpart to the body of Christ, through which we pass into the holiest place…. In our temples, as in the Jewish temple, the veil represents the portal into the divine presence. The temple veil, the emblem of Christ’s own flesh, was torn at the crucifixion, suggesting that only through the broken body of the atoning Savior was access into God’s presence possible for all” (The Christ Who Heals, 62). I also appreciated this insight about Christ’s crucifixion from Alonzo Gaskill’s book, “ The Gospel of Mark records… And the veil of the temple was rent in twain from the top to the bottom….Now we may by faith boldly enter into God’s presence” (The Lost Language of Symbolism: An Essential Guide For Recognizing and Interpreting Symbols of the Gospel, 749-750).
Just as the endowment ordinance focuses
on the crucifixion of the Savior, so does the sacrament ordinance during our
worship service each Sunday. D. Todd Christofferson explains, “The symbolism of the sacrament of the
Lord’s Supper is beautiful to contemplate. The bread and water represent the
flesh and blood of Him who is the Bread of Life and the Living Water, poignantly
reminding us of the price He paid to redeem us. As the bread is broken, we
remember the Savior’s torn flesh. Elder Dallin H. Oaks once observed that ‘because
it is broken and torn, each piece of bread is unique, just as the individuals
who partake of it are unique. We all have different sins to repent of. We all
have different needs to be strengthened through the Atonement of the Lord Jesus
Christ, whom we remember in this ordinance.’ As we drink the water, we
think of the blood He shed in Gethsemane and on the cross and its sanctifying
power…. We resolve to be
among ‘those who have washed their garments in [the Savior’s] blood, because of
their faith, and the repentance of all their sins, and their faithfulness unto
the end.’… If we yearn to
dwell in Christ and have Him dwell in us, then holiness is what we seek,
in both body and spirit. We seek it in the temple, whereon is inscribed ‘Holiness
to the Lord.’…We seek it each week as we delight in the Lord’s holy day. We
seek it even in the details of daily living…Partaking of the (sacrament) means
to put out of our lives anything inconsistent with a Christlike character and
to make His attributes our own. This is the larger meaning of repentance: not
only a turning away from past sin but also ‘a turning of the heart and will to
God’ going forward… (“The
Living Bread Which Came Down from Heaven,” Ensign, Nov. 2017).
The temple endowment and the sacrament are interconnected ways to internalize and immerse ourselves in Christ's atonement. As a bishop once explained to me, these ordinances are “vertical” experiences. It is a sacred time to personally commune with the Savior. I'm grateful that Heavenly Father sent His Son to save us. I'm grateful that the Savior's love and power can help us overcome any difficulty. I'm grateful for the Holy Ghost who testifies of both of them in powerful ways.












