Linda K. Burton gave this helpful counsel, “For some, serving or ministering one by one, following the Savior’s example, doesn’t come easily. But with practice, each of us can become more like the Savior as we serve God’s children. To help us better love one another, I would like to suggest four words to remember: ‘First observe, then serve’” (“First Observe, Then Serve,” Ensign, Nov. 2012). I learned a lot about that from the first two homes I was inspired to visit.
The second visit was to a woman about my age. I had communicated with her previously by email, but had never been in her home. During our initial visit, I learned that she, her husband, and their children had many struggles in several areas – physical, emotional, spiritual, financial, and social. Her mom lived there too and I ended up visiting them almost every day for over a year. They helped me to develop the confidence I needed to continue visiting many other women. Since I was in their home so often, I learned how to observe what needed to be done and then I would choose one task and try to
do it. I don’t have very many talents or skills, but one thing I could do was
take out their garbage. So I did that almost every time I went over. I also
swept the floor in their front room and did their dishes a few times. I raked
up all their leaves once and mowed their lawn another time. Occasionally, I
drove my friend to the store and, sometimes, I contributed money to help them buy
their groceries. Unfortunately, it didn’t seem to make much of a difference
overall, but it showed her that I really cared and wanted to help where I could. During that process, I learned the concept of "practice makes better."
After a few months of visiting them, my friend's mom decided to renew her temple recommend. Then she started attending
the temple with me and the other older woman almost every week. After a while,
she began working on her family history again. Since she was baptized as a young adult, she was the
only member of the church in her extended family. So there was a lot of work to be
done and I began helping her with it when we would attend the temple each week. One general lesson I learned from that
experience is that, in the beginning, I was probably enabling them to continue
in their old habits, even though that wasn't my intention. I also learned that I couldn't fix their problems for them, no matter how hard I tried. However, as I spent more time with them, I started to realize that my friend's mom was becoming stronger because of her time in the temple. She was able to make some improvements in her own life and I believe that started to have a positive effect on others in the home. She was able to take some positive steps once the Lord helped me to get the ball rolling.
There is a verse in The Book of
Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ that provides some additional guidance about how to serve. “…Impart
of your substance to the poor, every man according to that which he hath, such
as feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, visiting the sick and administering
to their relief, both spiritually and temporally, according to their wants”
(Mosiah 4:26). Two phrases stand out to me in that verse. First, we can’t give
what we don’t have. Therefore, it's important to do all we can to build up a surplus
of physical energy, spirituality, and financial savings. This occurs gradually like drops
in a bucket. Focusing on steadily building up these reserves is helpful in our own
lives, but it also allows us to share our blessings with others. If we don’t
have financial reserves, we can regularly declutter the excess “stuff” in our lives
and donate it to people who need it more than we do. Second, sometimes we don’t
think about serving people according to their wants. However, I believe that’s
more like the way WE would want to be served. When people begin to feel more comfortable in their difficult circumstances, our love will probably be felt in a much deeper way than if we
only focused on the bare minimum need. Conversely, we may attend to someone’s
surface wants and discover, in the process, the core need they aren’t broadcasting.
When we are in tune spiritually, those needs often become more apparent.
Spencer
W. Kimball explained, “God does notice us, and he watches over us. But it is
usually through another person that he meets our needs. Therefore, it is vital
that we serve each other … In the Doctrine and Covenants we read about how
important it is to '… succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang
down, and strengthen the feeble knees' (D&C 81:5). So often, our
acts of service consist of simple encouragement or of giving mundane help with
mundane tasks, but what glorious consequences can flow from mundane acts and
from small but deliberate deeds” (“Small
Acts of Service,” Ensign, Dec. 1974).
Jesus "went about doing good" (Acts 10:38) and we can too, in both small and big ways. Doctrine and Covenants 58:27-28 gives some additional insight, “…Men (and women) should be anxiously engaged in a good
cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness;
For the power is in them…” There
is no greater cause than to reach out in love to others. One of the ways to increase that power is to practice observing the needs around us. M. Russell Ballard explained, “Great things are brought about and
burdens are lightened through the efforts of many hands ‘anxiously engaged in a
good cause.’… There is one simple daily practice that
can make a difference… In your morning prayer each new day, ask Heavenly Father
to guide you to recognize an opportunity to serve one of His precious children.
Then go throughout the day with your heart full of faith and love, looking for
someone to help…. If you do this, your spiritual sensitivities will be enlarged
and you will discover opportunities to serve that you never before realized
were possible” (“Be Anxiously Engaged,” Ensign, Nov. 2012).
I once taught a lesson to the women in
our church congregation and several phrases stood out to me. “The thoughtful
little things of life” add up. “These acts of kindness were not isolated
occurrences but part of a lifelong pattern.” When we remember that “God is our
Father, and that we are his children, and that all men are brothers and sisters
in the same eternal family,” we can pray for a greater “desire to love and bless” those
around us. “I think if all men knew and
understood who they are, and were aware of the divine source from whence they
came, … they would have feelings of kindness... for each other that
would change their whole way of living and bring peace on earth” (“Love and Concern for All of God’s Children,” Teachings of
Presidents of the Church: Joseph Fielding Smith, p. 254). The two great
commandments, to love God and to love our neighbors as ourselves, build on each
other (See Matthew 22:37-40). Learning to love ourselves is part of building up the surplus I was
referring to earlier. The more we love God, the easier it is to learn to
love ourselves. When we love ourselves, we have more confidence and
desire to reach out to others in love and kindness. And we love and serve others, we are showing
God how much we love Him.
Jesus
taught us to leave the 99 to go after the one who is in need of spiritual or physical
help. It seems to me that we all take turns being the one. We all need saving. We
really do need each other. Living these two great commandments and
following the Savior’s example of love may seem difficult or overwhelming to
us. However, it is really the simplest way to think about the gospel as a
whole. I love this picture of loving hands.
We can wipe a tear, hold a hand, give a pat
of encouragement, or lift someone up with our hands. If we are trying to act as
hands on earth for Heavenly Father and Jesus to work through, we are truly
living the gospel.
