* I still have two stories to add at the end (or possibly in another chapter), but I wanted to post this as proof that my mind started working again! (I revisited this and posted a picture on August 15, 2020.)
I believe that God orchestrates countless details
behind the scenes in all of our lives to bless us and support us. I think this especially
applies to the people who come into our lives – often at just the right time. Neal A.
Maxwell explained: “You and I may call these intersectings ‘coincidence.’ This
word is understandable for mortals to use, but coincidence is
not an appropriate word to describe the workings of an omniscient God. He does
not do things by ‘coincidence’ but … by ‘divine design’” (“Brim with Joy,”
BYU Speeches, 23 Jan. 1996). This chapter is longer
than the others because it is all about the divine intersections God has orchestrated
in my life over the past decade.
Divine intersection #1. A woman in our previous ward lives
with her husband in the retirement community near the home we lived in for 19
years. On the surface, it appears that we have nothing in common – she’s old
enough to by my mother, she’s very well-connected with the socially elite, has been
deeply involved in church and community service throughout her life, and has extremely
useful talents and skills. However, we later discovered a few connections: both
of our fathers were religion professors at BYU, we’re both the oldest child in
our families of origin, and her younger brother was the bishop of the first
ward John and I attended after being married. Prior to becoming friends, she
called to ask me to share my testimony in her Easter lesson at the end of March
2013. She assured me that she had been strongly prompted to ask me and spent
about 10 minutes coaxing me into agreeing. (This was before I began my visiting
journey, so I wasn’t comfortable saying yes to anxiety producing experiences.) She
was grateful that I was willing to participate in her lesson and we gradually
became friends after that. Several years into our friendship, she explained
that she had watched me force myself to come to church week after week, often
with wet hair from a shower, wearing t-shirts under plain jumpers, and no jewelry.
She felt prompted to be a friend, but wasn’t sure how to go about doing that. Since
then, she has “watched me blossom” with growing confidence in the way I dress
and take care of myself, in my interactions with other people, and the goals I’ve
accomplished.
I have often commented that she’s had a front row seat for
all the changes I’ve made in my life over the past seven years and has been a
mentor to me in many ways. We have enjoyed many long and uplifting conversations
about our insights into the gospel. Several times, I have gone to her house or
she has picked me up in her car when I felt I had nowhere else to turn. She has
always been patient and compassionate as I have cried many tears and talked through
my confusion and concern during challenging situations. We have attended the
temple or visited the temple grounds together a few times, walked and talked
under the shade of the trees in an office park near her home or sat in her peaceful
back yard several times, and spent countless hours talking in her beautiful
home. She was always willing to let me sit with her at church when my family
stopped attending, she invited me over to sit by the cozy fireplace to watch
the Christmas devotional with her and her husband one year, and her husband once
gave me a Priesthood blessing of comfort. Prior to the pandemic, we had a
tradition of treating each other to lunch at Zupas or Olive Garden for our birthdays
and other special occasions. She was my most faithful supporter when I went
back to college, she was a sounding board and proof reader for my papers, and celebrated
with me when I finally earned my associate degree.
As I look around my office and bedroom I still see
several thoughtful gifts she’s given me over the years. A decorative wooden
block in my office with this quote by Gordon B. Hinckley, “keep trying, keep
believing, be happy, don’t get discouraged, things will work out.” A cheerful polka
dot frame in my bedroom with a set of uplifting quote cards, but I have always
kept it on one that inspired me the most. It’s one by A.A. Milne that is often
quoted, “You are braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter
than you think.” When I moved into our new home, she gave me a wall hanging
that says, “It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you don’t stop.” When
I graduated with my associate degree, she gave me a necklace that says, “I can
do hard things.” She also gave me a Willow Tree statue of an angel because she often
referred to me as an “earth angel” during my visiting journey. She has truly
been an angel to me and I will always be grateful that God prompted her to become
a much-needed friend at a crossroads in my life.
Divine intersection #2 is with my favorite inspirational
song writer and singer, Hilary Weeks. I attended a benefit concert in her home in
August 2012. Then I attended a women’s conference in my mom’s stake where she
was speaking and performing in February 2014. Even though I was feeling
anxious, I immediately went up to the stand afterward to thank her for the
uplifting influence she has had on my life and on the lives of some of the
friends that I’ve shared her music with. I was thankful I took that opportunity,
but looked down later and realized I had accidentally worn non-matching flats on
my feet – which has never happened before or since. A few days later, I was
strongly prompted to look up her phone number and call her. I thought it seemed
like a crazy idea, but it was very similar to my original prompting that began
my visiting journey, so I didn’t argue with it. I knew her address from
attending the benefit concert, so I was pleasantly surprised that I was able to
use it to find her phone number. I took a deep breath and dialed her number,
thinking that I would just leave a message and that would be it. However, she “just
happened” to be home watching the Olympics on TV that evening, instead of preparing for the next Time Out for
Women. I realized that was why the prompting was so urgent
in that moment. I had no idea what to say,
but heard myself asking if she would ever let me visit her. She said I should email her representative
and that she would set something up.
I ended up meeting her and her oldest daughter for lunch at
the Trellis Café at Thanksgiving Point in July 2014. I paid for their lunch, we
took a picture together, her daughter texted the picture to me, and I thought
that was it. However, I was inspired to stop by their home and visited with her
and her family briefly while I was out in Lehi one day, we ran into each other
at the Mt. Timpanogos Temple another day and she remembered my name, then she
agreed to meet me for breakfast the day before I had a surgery in March 2015. Again,
I thought that was the last time I would spend time with her. However, one day in
September 2016, I was leaving the Provo Temple and I ran into an old family
friend, who ended up being Hilary’s current Relief Society president. That
prompted me to buy tickets for back-to-back nights of Hilary’s CD launch concert.
I drove with a good friend up to Kingsbury Hall on the U of U campus for the first
night and then drove with another good friend up to Ogden for the second night.
I talked with Hilary’s daughter and took a picture with her Relief Society president
at the first concert, since we were sitting close to the front. I also waited
in line to take a picture with Hilary after the concert. She was surprised that
I would want to go to her concert two nights in a row, but they were both uplifting
and worth-while experiences. I thought it was such a great way to end my
association with Hilary. However, in December 2016 that same family friend
invited me to attend their ward’s Christmas party in Woodland Hills, where
Hilary would be performing. I had the opportunity to talk with Hilary for a few
minutes before the dinner, where she said something that really helped me with
a struggle I was currently dealing with, and then took a picture of her with
her extended family afterward. I thought that was the last time I would see her.
However, I received another prompting to attend a Love Your Life gathering
in Woodland Hills that she co-hosted with Emily Belle Freeman in September 2017.
I was able to talk afterward for a while with her representative that arranged
our first lunch back in 2014 and took a picture with her, Hilary, and Emily.
I now just subscribe to Hilary’s Live All In program
and continue to text her occasionally. I emailed to tell her I was going to
delete her phone number from my contacts back in November 2016 because I didn’t
want to be annoying. She texted me right back with this, “Just saw your email
and you are in big trouble! Add me back in your contacts immediately young lady!
You are the best!” I texted her again in July 2019 to ask if she would allow me
to use her lyrics in this book, since so much of my journey has been shaped by
her music and lyrics. She texted back, “I think you could write an amazing book
and it would be an honor for me to have the lyrics included! Let me know how it
goes! You’ll do great!!!” I texted her one other notable time in April 2020 to
send her pictures of the uplifting lyric cards I’ve used to decorated the walls
in my office and to tell her I had been prompted to put her and her family on
the temple prayer roll before the pandemic forced the closures. She replied, “What
an absolutely sweet and thoughtful text. Thank you for all of it. Everything.
You are an angel.” I’m grateful for her good influence on my life, both personally
and through her music. She could have just considered me one of her many fans,
but she remembered my name, spent some of her valuable time with me on a few
occasions, and treated me like I was special. All of that mattered a lot to me
during times when I really needed some special treatment.
During the last decade, I have given away
approximately 70 of her CDs to friends who I felt could benefit from her uplifting
music. I’ve also purchased six of the leather cuffs she makes and sells on her
website. I’ve given three away as gifts and have kept three to remind me of her
kindness. Hilary wrote
a song titled “Hero” (on her 2013 CD, Say Love). The following lyrics explain
how I feel about her personally:
…Quietly changing one life at a time
You may never know
What a difference you’ve made in
mine…
A friend to the lonely, a light in
the dark
You may never know
What a blessing you are…
I hope someday you’ll see
You’re a hero to me
Divine intersection #3. I received the prompting that
started my visiting journey on the evening of September 4, 2013. I realized that our stake institute class began
meeting the next day, so I took a leap of faith and began attending the next
morning because I thought it would be a great place to start “knowing more people
in the stake,” as my prompting suggested. I attended the classes each Thursday
morning for that entire school year, which gave me a greater appreciation and deeper
understanding of The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ. I
also attended half of the classes the following year, where we studied the life
of Christ in the 4 Gospels of the New Testament. I stayed after to talk with
one of the teachers quite often and we became friends.
She was involved in a program called
“Dress Your Truth” and she shared it with me. Through the discovery process of
that program, I learned that I was a type 1 – light and bright. Because of that,
I donated all the clothes in my wardrobe that were black or dull colors, which
didn’t flatter me anyway. I began wearing clothes with brighter hues, switched
out most of my silver jewelry for mostly bright gold, and eventually cut my
hair in a style that was shorter in back and more flattering to my face shape
in the front. Those small adjustments helped to increase my self-confidence as
I was continuing to overcome anxiety during my visiting adventure. A few years
later, that same institute teacher served in the baptistry of the Provo Temple
on Tuesdays. When I discovered that, I spent most Tuesday afternoons in the baptistry
so I could see her and also work on my growing number of baptisms and
confirmations. (I will discuss that more in a later chapter.) I will always be
grateful for those ways that she influenced my life for good.
Divine intersection #4. In addition
to beginning my experience of attending stake institute classes after my
prompting, I also had another first the morning following that original
prompting. I decided to walk our daughter to the bus stop at 7:20am on September
5, 2013. After that, I started walking around the nearby track as part of my
walking for the day. I noticed that a few women from our ward were walking
ahead of me, but I didn’t pay much attention because, at that point, I rarely
walked with other people. I was still mostly walking on my own to destinations around
town. However, they “just happened” to notice me and waited for me where part
of the path curved up to the cemetery on the hill above. They invited me to
join them on their walk around the cemetery and I tried to decline, but they were
persistent. I finally agreed to join them and thought to myself that it wouldn’t
hurt to just walk with them and listen to the conversation. Well, this group of
women included the current Relief Society president, the previous Relief
Society president, and the wives of the bishop and one of his counselors. They are
the kind of women who would have been in tune with the Spirit. They are also thoughtful
and caring people, so they skillfully drew me into the conversation.
I distinctly remember the very clear
thought that came into my mind and I’m assuming it was a prompting as well, “You
need to start walking with these women.” I don’t think I would have normally
paid that close attention to it, but it followed the original prompting and I suddenly
realized that our ward was part of the stake. Therefore, that was a way I could
begin to “know more people in the stake.” Later that week, it was just me and
the current Relief Society president that ended up walking. It gave us time to
get to know each other better on a deeper level. She had been the Primary president
several years earlier and I was called to teach the eight and nine-year-old
children two years in a row – before I descended into the deep depression I was
still recovering from. So we already knew each other and I considered her a
friend, but we weren’t extremely close. During that walk I explained my
prompting and asked if there was anyone she was worried about in the ward that
could benefit from a visit. She mentioned a few women and they ended up being some
of the first people I visited.
I think it was probably part of God’s
plan to have that one-on-one visit because it basically launched my visiting
journey. As I continued to walk with the group on most mornings, my friendship
with them deepened. I became especially close to this Relief Society president,
though, and she was the first friend I told about John’s unbelief during the
following year, since she also had stewardship over me in her calling. As the
years passed, she has continued to be one of my dearest friends. (I eventually
stopped walking with the group in the mornings because I didn’t have enough energy
to walk with them and visit all the women I ended up having appointments with
during my visiting journey.) I visited her regularly at her home during the
following years and we sometimes went on drives to talk when we needed more
privacy. We have comforted and supported each other through many struggles with
our family members and life in general. She is the friend I attended the first
Hilary Weeks concert with and she is one of the only friends from our previous
neighborhood that visited me multiple times in our new home after we moved in
March 2017.
In the months that followed, one of
the women in our walking group was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis and I was able
to empathize with her because I had been diagnosed in January 2013. We also
walked alone a few times and with just the Relief Society president several
other times. During those particular walks, she realized I was a “much cooler
person” than she had originally thought. Her only other experiences with me had
been less positive because she was the Young Women president when our daughter was
in that program. Our daughter had seizures for several years when she was
younger and, unfortunately, spent her adolescent years slowly recovering emotionally,
socially, and scholastically from the difficulties caused by the seizures and
the medicine used to treat them. So, that was logistically difficult for this
Young Women president when it came to planning activities and attending girls
camp. I was grateful that she saw me in a different setting so we could become
friends. Her gift is spirituality mixed with humor, so there was a lot of
laughter during those walks – which is “good medicine,” as the saying goes.
Divine intersection #5 is with a woman I visited in a
different ward of our stake. I had seen her occasionally at elementary school
functions years before, but had never talked with her more than just saying
hello. I visited her in April 2014 and it was a nice visit, but I didn’t feel
like we really clicked. A few months later, in September 2014, I kept seeing
her walking up the hill near our home in the mornings and, every time I did, I
literally wanted to abandon my car on the side of the road and just start
walking with her! After that happened three times, I realized those were
actually strong promptings and I finally decided to call and leave a voice mail
message telling her just that. She called me back and we planned to start walking
together in the beginning of October. It turned out that she needed to talk
with me about some struggles she was having with some of her family members. After
the first few walks, she felt that she could trust me and started confiding in
me about situations she didn’t feel comfortable talking about with anyone else.
We quickly became close friends and have comforted and supported each other
through many struggles and difficult situations since then. She is another dear
friend who has continued to visit me after we moved across town. She drives to
my house and then we enjoy walking and talking on the path next to the river.
The sound of the water and shade from the trees makes it a very relaxing and
healing experience for us. Sometimes our lives become busy and we don’t see
each other for a few weeks or sometimes months, but when life settles down, it is
easy for us to pick up right where we left off. I love friendships like that.
Divine intersection #6. About 19 months into my visiting journey,
I decided to stretch myself in a way that wouldn’t have been possible previously.
I volunteered to be a chaperone on the high school choir tour to Seattle in
April 2015. It was my last chance to support our daughter (who needed my
support on a trip that long), since she was a senior that year. Our son was a
sophomore and would also be going, but he was very independent and didn’t want
any attention from me. I made a goal to continue my visiting by talking with
each of the other twelve women who were chaperones on the buses. It took some
creativity and bravery, but I was able to have one-on-one conversations with
each of them at some point during those four days. One of the women was later killed
in a tragic bike accident and I’ve always been so grateful that I took the opportunity
to get to know her on that trip. I also walked and talked with two other women who
helped chaperone after we returned and I appreciated getting to know them on a
deeper level.
There was one woman, in particular, that I felt strongly
prompted to get to know better. So I decided to start walking around the first
museum with her on the day after we arrived in Seattle. I felt like we clicked
almost immediately and I was so grateful for her company that day, since our
children were off having fun with the other students. When we went to the third
museum of the day, I was prompted to ask her a deeper question, which created
an opportunity for us to talk about spiritual topics from that point on. We
still joke occasionally how we were having this testimony-building conversation
in a mostly dark area of the Pop Culture Museum while the sound of light sabers
were echoing all around us. We ended up spending most of our free time together
on the remaining days of the tour and sat by each other on the bus ride home.
That gave us a long time to talk and I felt like we had always known each other
by the time we arrived home again. After we returned, we attended the temple
together, we’ve walked and talked off and on ever since, and our new house is
within walking distance of hers. Similar to the first friend I wrote about, we
don’t appear to have anything in common on the surface. Our daughter graduated from
high school the same year as her youngest daughter, but that’s about it. However,
we’ve had similar struggles in several areas and have appreciated each other’s
support as we’ve talked through them again and again.
I feel so blessed that God crossed my path with each of these
amazing women when He did. They each fill a different need in my life and I am
so grateful for their support and love. My patriarchal blessing says, “You will
have stumbling blocks come before you. There will be friends raised up to help
you over them. Use these stumbling blocks as stepping stones.” These friends
have each, in their own unique ways, helped me turn many of my stumbling blocks
into stepping stones.
