During the past six years, many
people have encouraged me to write a book about my experiences. I never thought
seriously about actually attempting it because it always felt too overwhelming.
Then, I was asked to give a devotional in August 2015 to a group of women on
the topic of reaching out to others with love. I was also asked to give the
devotional to two other groups of women in April 2016 and January 2017.
That was the first time I tried to
write down a summary of my experiences and my presentation evolved each time I gave
it. I also wrote about different aspects of my story in several papers when I
returned to college between August 2015 and November 2019. However, I still had
no idea how to proceed with something larger.
My friends continued to tell me,
“People need to hear your story,” and I continued to respond that they should
write it for me. No one was interested in taking on the project, and I can’t
blame them. In August 2019, I was finally given enough inspiration to create a
more detailed outline and table of contents for this book, but I hit another
mental block after writing the first chapter.
The COVID-19 pandemic descended upon
the entire world in 2020 and normal operations in our area were shut down by
mid-March. During the first few months of the pandemic, I stayed busy with
being a grandma for the first time, completing various organization projects,
and working on family history.
In July 2020, I felt inspired to
sign up for a complimentary 40-minute call with a life coach who specialized in
organization. I followed through with that prompting, although it didn’t make
sense, since I was already working with a life coach. During that phone call,
she pointed out that I didn’t need to wait until I felt organized enough to
begin writing this book. Instead, she encouraged me to just start writing ten
minutes each day.
This is common advice that can be
applied to almost any area of life in which a person feels overwhelmed—and the
timing was finally right for this project. For about five weeks, I wrote for
much longer than ten minutes each day until I completed the first draft. I
considered that a miracle. I felt a mixture of deep gratitude and relief not to
have the original expectation hanging over my head anymore.
A few close friends and family members were generous
with their time and gave me feedback on several revisions of this
book. Originally, the earlier chapters included the overarching lessons I
learned that helped shape my journey. It was recommended that I begin with my
personal experiences instead. So, I have spread these life lessons throughout
the experiences I share. All of the events in this book actually occurred,
but I am using fictitious names for each of the people I mention (except for my
family members) to protect their privacy.
Since there are many threads to my story, it felt impossible
to weave them together into one fluid storyline. Therefore, each of
the five parts of this book represents an important aspect of my journey. Some
details are repeated in the different chapters to provide continuity.
One important theme is the word of the year. I have been grateful for the way
these words influenced my progress during each year they are mentioned.
This book is written from my
perspective as an active member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day
Saints.[1] However, my purpose is not
to preach or convert. I hope people of all beliefs will feel comfortable
reading about the experiences I share. For that reason, I have tried to explain
terms from our church culture and doctrine that may be unfamiliar to some.[2] All scripture passages
come from the Church’s standardized editions of the scriptures, which include
the King James Version of the Bible.[3]
I have tried to write each
experience from the perspective of how I was feeling at the time. I have also
tried to show how my ability to adapt and understand situations from a different
perspective progressed over time. So, if something in the earlier chapters
seems judgmental, close-minded, or one-sided—please understand that I was expressing
how I felt in the messy middle of my journey. I’m still struggling through the
messy middle in many ways, but I am grateful that I have been blessed with more
clarity and a deeper understanding as I continue on my journey.
As I have walked and talked with women over the past eight years, we’ve solved many of life’s problems while enjoying the sunshine and fresh air. I’ve noticed that it is often more difficult to apply the principles we’ve discussed and the answers we’ve discovered when we return to our homes and lives. Admittedly, I haven’t fully incorporated all of the ideas I share in this book, but I continue to improve as a result of them. I hope they will have a positive impact in your life as well.
The Influence of Hilary Weeks
The
inspirational music of Hilary Weeks, and especially her uplifting lyrics, have
been the driving force behind much of my progress during the past decade. In
fact, this book probably wouldn’t have been written if it weren’t for her
powerful lyrics. She is an incredibly talented singer and songwriter, whose
messages focus on Christ and His grace. She has also written many songs about
reaching our potential through perseverance and optimism.
Originally,
I was planning to include her lyrics in most of the chapters and Hilary granted
permission to do that. I was also planning to include a list of her most
influential songs in my life. Ultimately, I decided to just share my
experiences with her and her music in several chapters of the book. However, I strongly
invite you to subscribe to her annual Live All In program[4] and look up the music from the CDs on her
website.[5]
A Note About Perfectionism
I don’t read as much as most people
I know. I get hung up in the highlighting. I’m also a relatively late learner
and slow adopter of habits. It takes me a while to warm up to new things and
especially new technology. I’m now very grateful for the Gospel Library app and
for books on Kindle. Both have made highlighting less messy and more precise.
It is also much easier to find notes that I’ve written in the “margins,” which was
helpful during this project.
Writing, and especially editing, this
book was another step in learning to overcome my perfectionistic tendencies.
When I finished the final draft, my plan was to have a few friends continue to read
through it and suggest corrections, as they did in the earlier revisions. However,
that would have prolonged the process and it would have allowed additional doubt
to enter my already anxious mind. Since everyone looks through their own unique
life lens, each person’s feedback was different and, sometimes, their recommendations
contradicted each other.
The bottom line is that this book
will have flaws. I have read through it more times than I can count. I have edited
and polished it multiple times. There may still be sentences that could have
been constructed better and passages that could have been written more clearly.
There will probably still be errors in grammar, punctuation, and spelling. There
might even be sections that could have been left out. However, this book was
written from my heart with the intent to uplift.
I sincerely hope that each reader
will find something within these pages that was meant just for you. If there
are sections that seem uninteresting or nonapplicable, feel free to skip them.
If there are beliefs, opinions, or philosophies that don’t resonate, feel free
to move on to another section. At the minimum, though, I ask that the point of
this book be remembered. It isn’t supposed to be perfect. We live in an
imperfect world. Each person is a work in progress. And that is okay. Take a
deep breath with me . . . and embrace the imperfection.
[1] The original New Testament church was called The Church of Jesus Christ and the members were called “saints.” The restored church in our time is called The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
[2] For more general information and questions, see https://comeuntochrist.org. For more detailed information, see https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/gospel-topics/intro or https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/topics/church-organization/the-church-of-jesus-christ.
[3] See https://churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures.
[4] See https://liveallintoday.com.
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