Friday, August 14, 2020

Chapter 34 ~ Eternal Progression … The Journey Continues

I found most of the material for this chapter this morning. These quotes displaced the ones I had planned to use, so I believe they are inspired. I learned a lot as I was piecing them together.

 

            Eternal progression is a phrase that may seem hopeful to some and daunting to others. I fall in the hopeful camp. I believe it means we get unlimited chances to try again…and again… and again to improve upon our past and progress. This is possible because of Heavenly Father’s perfect plan, which is centered on the atonement of Jesus Christ. I wrote about a few of my ancestors in the previous chapter. I believe they listened to Russell M. Nelson on April 1, 2018, when he said, “Our message to the world is simple and sincere: we invite all of God’s children on both sides of the veil to come unto their Savior, receive the blessings of the holy temple, have enduring joy, and qualify for eternal life” (“Let Us All Press On,” Ensign, May 2018). I believe my ancestors acted on that invitation from a prophet of God because their names were forwarded to me from my sister on April 5th and my mom on April 6th. My desire is to always do my best to follow the counsel of God’s prophet as well.

            This quote by Neal A. Maxwell fills my heart with hope. “What we insistently desire, over time, is what we will eventually become and what we will receive in eternity. …’For I, the Lord, will judge all men according to their works, according to the desire of their hearts’ (D&C 137:8–9).…God thus takes into merciful account not only our desires and our performance, but also the degrees of difficulty which our varied circumstances impose upon us. No wonder we will not complain at the final judgment, especially since even the telestial kingdom’s glory ‘surpasses all understanding’ (D&C 76:89) (“According to the Desire of [Our] Hearts,” Ensign, November 1996).

            In February 2019, my good friend and ministering sister shared a comforting and reassuring quote with me about eternal progression. She read it in a chapter with the title “The Saving Christ” written by Terry and Fiona Givens. “Elder James E. Talmage wrote in the first edition of the Church-published Articles of Faith, ‘advancement from grade to grade within any kingdom, and from kingdom to kingdom, will be provided for … Eternity is progressive.’ He later elaborated, no man will be detained in the lower regions ‘longer than is necessary to bring him to a fitness for something better. When he reaches that stage the… doors will open and there will be rejoicing among the hosts who welcome him to a better state.’ Slightly later, President Joseph F. Smith taught that ‘there is a time after this mortal life, and there is a way provided by which we may fulfil the measure of our creation and destiny, and accomplish the whole great work that we have been sent to do, although it may reach far into the future before we fully accomplish it. Jesus had not finished his work when his body was slain, neither did he finish it after his resurrection from the dead, although he had accomplished the purpose for which he then came to earth, he had not fulfilled all his work. And when will he? Not until he has redeemed and saved every son and daughter of our father Adam that has or ever will be born upon the earth to the end of time…’” (The Christ Who Heals,” p.119).

            In one of my favorite talks on faith, Neil L. Andersen explained, “Faith is a principle of power, important not only in this life but also in our progression beyond the veil. By the grace of Christ, we will one day be saved through faith on His name.” (“Faith is Not by Chance, but By Choice,” Ensign, May 2015).

            In Summer 2019, an Institute teacher reminded me about an instructive quote by Henry B. Eyring, which continues to help me redirect my thoughts from worrying about the future. “Building faith in Jesus Christ is the beginning of reversing spiritual decline in your family and in your home. That faith is more likely to bring repentance than your preaching against each symptom of spiritual decline. You will best lead by example. Family members and others must see you growing in your own faith in Jesus Christ and in His gospel…. You will find some of your greatest joys in your efforts to make your home a place of faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and a place that is permeated with love, the pure love of Christ. … Some have tried with full heart for that blessing, yet it has not been granted. My promise to you is one that a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles once made to me. I had said to him that because of choices some in our extended family had made, I doubted that we could be together in the world to come. He said, as well as I can remember, ‘You are worrying about the wrong problem. You just live worthy of the celestial kingdom, and the family arrangements will be more wonderful than you can imagine.’ I believe that he would extend that happy hope to any of us in mortality who have done all we can to qualify ourselves and our family members for eternal life. I know that Heavenly Father’s plan is a plan of happiness. I testify that His plan makes it possible for each of us who has done the best we can to be sealed in a family forever. I know that the priesthood keys restored to Joseph Smith were passed on in an unbroken line to President Russell M. Nelson. Those keys make possible the sealing of families today. I know that Heavenly Father loves us, His spirit children, with a perfect love” (“A Home Where the Spirit of the Lord Dwells,” Ensign, May 2019).

            Larry R. Lawrence explained, “The Spirit can show us our weaknesses, but He is also able to show us our strengths. Sometimes we need to ask what we are doing right so that the Lord can lift and encourage us. When we read our patriarchal blessings, we are reminded that our Heavenly Father knows our divine potential. He rejoices every time we take a step forward. To Him, our direction is ever more important than our speed” (“What Lack I Yet,” Ensign, Nov. 2015).

            Henry B. Eyring explained, “…You can find the word remember throughout the scriptures…. My message is an invitation…  to remember. Here are three suggestions about what you could remember each week when you partake of the sacred emblems of the sacrament. I hope they are helpful to you, as they have been to me. First, remember the Savior. Remember who He was while on earth, how He spoke to others, and how He showed kindness in His acts. Remember whom He spent time with and what He taught. The Savior “went about doing good” (Acts 10:38)…. Most of all, we can remember the great price He paid, out of His love for us, to remove the stain of our sins. As we remember Him, our desire to follow Him will grow. We will want to be a little kinder, more forgiving, and more willing to seek the will of God and do it.

…It’s hard to think of the Savior—His purity and perfection—without also thinking of how flawed and imperfect we are in comparison. We have made covenants to obey His commandments, yet we frequently fall short of this high standard. But the Savior knew this would happen, which is why He gave us the ordinance of the sacrament.” (“Always Remember Him,” Ensign, Feb. 2018),

            He continued with counsel that has been very helpful for me over the past couple of years. “As you examine your life during the ordinance of the sacrament, I hope your thoughts center not only on things you have done wrong but also on things you have done right—moments when you have felt that Heavenly Father and the Savior were pleased with you. You may even take a moment during the sacrament to ask God to help you see these things. If you do, I promise you will feel something. You will feel hope. When I have done this, the Spirit has reassured me that while I’m still far from perfect, I’m better today than I was yesterday. And this gives me confidence that, because of the Savior, I can be even better tomorrow….No matter how well you keep your promise to always remember Him, He always remembers you. The Savior knows your challenges. He knows what it is like to have the cares of life press upon you. He knows how urgently you need the blessing that comes from always remembering Him and obeying Him—“that [you] may always have his Spirit to be with [you]” (D&C 20:77; emphasis added). So He welcomes you back to the sacrament table each week, once again offering you the chance to witness before Him that you will always remember Him.” (“Always Remember Him,” Ensign, Feb. 2018),

            Neal A. Maxwell explained, “For the faithful, our finest hours are sometimes during or just following our darkest hours.…With an understanding of God’s plan of salvation, we know that the rejoicing, the striving, the suffering, the tutoring, and the enduring experiences of life all play their part in an intelligible process of helping us, if we will, to become, as the Savior beckoningly invited, ‘even as I am.’ (3 Ne. 27:27)…The plan always points the way, but does not always smooth the way, since individual development requires an ‘opposition in all things.’ (2 Ne. 2:11.) The Lord will give us the needed intellectual and spiritual confirmation concerning His plan, but on His terms and in His own way.…Unsurprisingly, therefore, this mortal school produces some soaring triumphs but also a history filled with individual mistakes. But we should not blame the school, nor the curriculum! Least of all, the Schoolmaster! (“The Great Plan of the Eternal God,” Ensign, May 1984).

            In another talk, Neal A. Maxwell continued, “God delights in blessing us, especially when we realize ‘joy in that which [we] have desired’ (D&C 7:8).…It is up to us. God will facilitate, but He will not force.…Even a spark of desire can begin change. The prodigal son, sunk in despair, nevertheless desired and ‘came to himself,’ determining that ‘I will arise and go to my father’ (Luke 15:17–18).…Fortunately for us, our loving Lord will work with us, ‘even if [we] can [do] no more than desire to believe,’ providing we will ‘let this desire work in [us]’ (Alma 32:27)….Only by educating and training our desires can they become our allies instead of our enemies!…It is up to us. Therein lies life’s greatest and most persistent challenge. Thus when people are described as ‘having lost their desire for sin,’ it is they, and they only, who deliberately decided to lose those wrong desires by being willing to ‘give away all [their] sins’ in order to know God (Alma 22:18). a loving God will work with us, but the initiating particle of desire which ignites the spark of resolve must be our own! It all takes time. Said the Prophet Joseph: “The nearer man approaches perfection, the clearer are his views, and the greater his enjoyments, till he has overcome the evils of his life and lost every desire for sin; and like the ancients, arrives at that point of faith where he is wrapped in the power and glory of his Maker and is caught up to dwell with Him. But we consider that this is a station to which no man ever arrived in a moment” (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, 51). Thus the work of eternity is not done in a moment, but, rather, in ‘process of time.’ Time works for us when our desires do likewise! (“According to the Desire of [Our] Hearts,” Ensign, November 1996).

            Thomas S. Monson encouraged, “This is our one and only chance at mortal life—here and now. The longer we live, the greater is our realization that it is brief. Opportunities come, and then they are gone. I believe that among the greatest lessons we are to learn in this short sojourn upon the earth are lessons that help us distinguish between what is important and what is not. I plead with you not to let those most important things pass you by as you plan for that illusive and nonexistent future when you will have time to do all that you want to do. Instead, find joy in the journey—now…” (“Finding Joy in the Journey,” Ensign, Nov. 2008).

            One of my Institute teachers reminded me of a poem titled “The Dash” by Linda Ellis. It helped motivate some of my changes between 2008 and 2012. Perhaps it will remind you of some changes you might make as well.

I read of a man who stood to speak at the funeral of a friend.

He referred to the dates on the tombstone from the beginning… to the end.

He noted that first came the date of birth and spoke of the following date with tears,

but he said what mattered most of all was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time they spent alive on earth

and now only those who loved them know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own, the cars… the house… the cash.

What matters is how we live and love and how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard; are there things you’d like to change?

For you never know how much time is left that still can be rearranged.

To be less quick to anger and show appreciation more

 and love the people in our lives like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect and more often wear a smile…

 remembering that this special dash might only last a little while.

So when your eulogy is being read, with your life’s actions to rehash,

would you be proud of the things they say about how you lived your dash?

 

            I once watched a YouTube video about a hospice nurse and chaplain named Becki Hawkins who witnessed the end of life suffering of many patients over 30 years. She wrote a book about the lessons she learned from those patients and also spoke to a small gathering of people in October 2012. Part of her conclusion resonated with me (at about the 44 minute mark). “I’m not afraid of dying… I believe that we are beautiful, spiritual beings who are here for a very, very brief time in these clay vessels to learn lessons for our souls and to learn how to love one another better. To learn how to treat each other the way that God wants us to treat each other.”

            Another poem that helped me through many discouraging days during my growing up years is “Don’t Quit” by John Greenleaf Whittier. Perhaps it will uplift you also.

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow--
You may succeed with another blow,

Success is failure turned inside out--
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

 

            Henry B. Eyring taught, “My reassurance is this: the loving God who allowed these tests for you also designed a sure way to pass through them. Heavenly Father so loved the world that He sent His Beloved Son to help us. His Son, Jesus Christ, gave His life for us. Jesus Christ bore in Gethsemane and on the cross the weight of all our sins. He experienced all the sorrows, the pains, and the effects of our sins so that He could comfort and strengthen us through every test in life…. As I have pondered the covenant words and corresponding blessings promised, I have wondered what it means to be willing to take upon us the name of Jesus Christ. President Dallin H. Oaks explains: ‘It is significant that when we partake of the sacrament we do not witness that we take upon us the name of Jesus Christ. We witness that we are willing to do so. (See Doctrine and Covenants 20:77.) The fact that we only witness to our willingness suggests that something else must happen before we actually take that sacred name upon us in the most important sense.’ The statement that we are ‘willing to take upon [us]’ His name tells us that while we first took the Savior’s name when we were baptized, taking His name is not finished at baptism. We must work continually to take His name throughout our lives, including when we renew covenants at the sacrament table and make covenants in the Lord’s holy temples.” (“Try, Try, Try,” Ensign, Nov. 2018).

            Richard G. Scott explained, “You are one of the noblest of God’s creations. His intent is that your life be gloriously beautiful regardless of your circumstances. As you are grateful and obedient, you can become all that God intends you to be. Sadness, disappointment, and severe challenge are events in life, not life itself. I do not minimize how hard some of these events are. They can extend over a long period of time, but they should not be allowed to become the confining center of everything you do…. A pebble held close to the eye appears to be a gigantic obstacle. Cast on the ground, it is seen in perspective. Likewise, problems or trials in our lives need to be viewed in the perspective of scriptural doctrine. Otherwise they can easily overtake our vision, absorb our energy, and deprive us of the joy and beauty the Lord intends us to receive here on earth…. You are here on earth for a divine purpose… to be tried, to prove yourself so that you can receive the additional blessings God has for you. The tempering effect of patience is required. Some blessings will be delivered here in this life; others will come beyond the veil” (“Finding Joy in Life,“ Ensign, May 1996).

            He continued, “The Lord is intent on your personal growth and development. That progress is accelerated when you willingly allow Him to lead you through every growth experience you encounter, whether initially it be to your individual liking or not. When you trust in the Lord, when you are willing to let your heart and your mind be centered in His will, when you ask to be led by the Spirit to do His will, you are assured of the greatest happiness along the way and the most fulfilling attainment from this mortal experience. If you question everything you are asked to do, or dig in your heels at every unpleasant challenge, you make it harder for the Lord to bless you…. Learn from inspiring individuals who have made peace with their challenges and live with joy amid adversity…. Children teach us how to find joy even under the most challenging circumstances. Children haven’t yet learned to be depressed by concentrating on the things they don’t have. They find joy in what is available to them…. Simple, rejuvenating experiences surround us. They can be safety valves to keep the tension down and the spirit up. Don’t concentrate on what you don’t have or have lost. The Lord promised the obedient to share all that He possesses with them. You may temporarily lack here, but in the next life, if you prove yourself worthy by living valiantly, a fulness will be your blessing. To the afflicted people of Alma, the Lord said: ‘I will also ease the burdens … that even you cannot feel them upon your backs … ; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions. And … the burdens … were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord’ (Mosiah 24:13–15) (“Finding Joy in Life,“ Ensign, May 1996).

            He continued, “Being creative will help you enjoy life. It engenders a spirit of gratitude. It develops latent talent, sharpens your capacity to reason, to act, and to find purpose in life. It dispels loneliness and heartache. It gives a renewal, a spark of enthusiasm, and zest for life. Willing service to others is a key to enduring happiness. Each morning (one woman) would ask her Father in Heaven to lead her to someone she could help. That sincere prayer was answered time and again. The burdens of many were eased and their lives brightened. She was blessed continually for being an instrument directed by the Lord. I know that every difficulty we face in life, even those that come from our own negligence …  can be turned by the Lord into growth experiences, a virtual ladder upward… No matter how difficult something you or a loved one faces, it should not take over your life and be the center of all your interest. Challenges are growth experiences, temporary scenes to be played out on the background of a pleasant life. Don’t become so absorbed in a single event that you can’t think of anything else or care for yourself or for those who depend upon you. Remember, much like the mending of the body, the healing of some spiritual and emotional challenges takes time…. God’s love brings peace and joy. Your faith in Jesus Christ gives life enduring meaning. Remember you are on a journey… Sometimes you have experiences that yield more happiness than others, but it all has purpose with the Lord….Forgive any you feel may have offended you. If there is transgression, repent of it, that the Master may heal you…. You will learn that sadness and disappointment are temporary. Happiness is everlastingly eternal because of Jesus Christ. I solemnly witness that He lives, that He loves you, and that He will help you” (“Finding Joy in Life,“ Ensign, May 1996).

            Earlier in the book, I mentioned that I was asked to give a message in an Easter lesson to the women in our church congregation. I will end with part of that message I shared on March 31, 2013. “…Because I made those changes, my depression lifted dramatically at the end of December 2011. I was then given three months to continue to strengthen those habits and add other daily habits to give me balance in my life. Then my next trial arrived. I've had numbness, tingling, and tightness from my ribs to my toes especially on my right side since March 20, 2012. I spent the rest of last year building habits, but also trying to figure out what was causing these uncomfortable symptoms. In December, a lesion was finally found on my spine when my MRI's were repeated and, in January, it was confirmed through a spinal tap that I have MS…. I don't think I could have handled all of this if I had been in the emotional state I was in prior to making these changes. I feel that the Lord blessed me because He knew this was coming. I'm still very limited in what I'm able to do in life, but He has helped me learn how to do the basics that have given me much more stability. He has helped me focus on what is really important.  
            His grace is the enabling power to help us do better and be better. I have a testimony of that. I couldn't make it through one day without His help. I still have many difficult days, but I know He is there to help me (and all of us) every step of the way as we strive to just keep putting one foot in front of the other. I'm thankful that I will someday have a resurrected body because of Him that is free of earthly limitations. But, I will also be forever grateful for the way He has helped me cope with my limitations along the way. I know the Savior’s atonement is real and it is powerful. I know that Christ perfectly understands what each of us goes through in this life and is perfectly able to help us because He suffered and died for us. I also know that because He was resurrected, we will all be resurrected too…. We can feel hope, peace, and joy all along the way because of that promise.” Those feelings and beliefs have continued to uplift and sustain me over the past seven years. Since each day is a new beginning, repeating into eternity, I can continue to trust in Savior and His promises…forever.

Thursday, August 13, 2020

Chapter 26: Spiritual Learning

 

            On July 23, 2018, I  took a tour of UVU with my sister and her oldest daughter, since she was considering coming here for college the following year. At the end of the tour, we were walking past the back door of the Institute of Religion and my sister wondered if the door was open. We went down to check and it was. So we convinced her daughter to just be willing to check it out with us. One of the teachers there gave us an impromptu tour, some tips about good times to hang out there, and a plug for the inexpensive parking. At the end of the tour, I mentioned that I was a student at UVU also. He surprised me by saying I was eligible to take classes there too. That thought had never crossed my mind previously and it planted a seed, in the same way it did during the  original tour of UVU with our daughter. I took a copy of the classes offered and looked over it when I returned home. I decided to take Teachings of President Russell M. Nelson and two other classes, but I wasn’t allowed to register for them online because I’m over the age of 30. I called and the secretary told me she could register me if I came down there in person. So I rushed back to the Institute before I lost my courage. I signed up for two other classes on Monday and Wednesday as well,  since my UVU classes were on Tuesday and Thursday.  

            On July 30th, my sister and I met a family friend for breakfast at the Kneaders near our home. She gave my sister a book titled Joseph Smith’s First Vision: A Guide to the Historical Accounts by Steven C. Harper. I spontaneously decided to go along with my sister up to Temple Square that day. She was meeting a friend for lunch and I thought it would be a peaceful experience to get away, walk around Temple Square, and read that book in preparation for beginning Institute classes the following month. We separated when we arrived and I wandered through Temple Square taking pictures. Then I watched the panoramic short movie of the first vision in the Church History Museum and it felt like I was there in the sacred grove with Joseph. I just stayed seated after the film ended and pondered about how grateful I was that he had the courage to pray and find answers for himself. I decided to stay and watch it again. A Japanese family came in and sat down, which meant the film was shown in their language. It helped me feel the Spirit even stronger when I couldn’t understand the words being said. That experience was the perfect preparation for reading the book later. After the film ended, I looked around the museum and paid special attention to the Kirtland time period, since our parents were currently serving a mission in Historic Kirtland. I didn’t feel like doing anything else, so after I took a picture of the Christus statue in the North Visitors Center, I sat on a chair below the ramp leading up to it. I rested my leg and started to read my sister’s book.



            I decided to walk around a little more after reading for about 45 minutes. So I headed over to the Joseph Smith Memorial Building. I rode the elevator up to the tenth floor to see the view and read a little more of the book on a bench just down the hall from the fountain and restaurants. Then I rode the elevator back down to the mezzanine level to listen to the beautiful piano music coming from the lobby below.


            After listening to the music for a few minutes, I felt ready to read some more. So I sat in the chapel and read while I waited for my sister to meet me after her lunch. The book discusses the different accounts of Joseph Smith’s first vision from a historical scholarly perspective. The short movie I watched earlier blended a few details from the different accounts to provide a fuller perspective of Joseph’s reasons for praying that day. The different accounts were told at different times to different people in different settings. To me, if each telling were exactly the same, that would make me feel like it was fabricated – like he memorized a story he made up. Each time he shared the story, he discussed different details to fit the audience. The whole afternoon was a very spiritual experience for me with plenty of time to ponder and pray about what I was reading.


            The appearance of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ to Joseph, not only ushered in a new dispensation with Priesthood power on the earth, but also explained more about Their character. Heavenly Father called Joseph by name, which meant He knew him and cared about the concerns of this fourteen year old farm boy from a poor family. He introduced Jesus and asked Joseph to “Hear Him.” This vision showed that They were two distinct and separate Beings. It also demonstrated the complete trust Heavenly Father has in Jesus as the Savior of all mankind. I’m grateful that I took the time to visit the Christus statue as well. My testimony is centered in Jesus Christ. I’m so grateful for His perfect life, which showed us the way to live ours. I’m even more grateful for His atoning sacrifice for each of us. This selfless sacrifice included His suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane, more agonizing suffering on the cross, and His resurrection on the third day. Because of Him, we will all be resurrected. Through His grace, we have the opportunity to repent, forgive, progress, change, and become more like Him in the process. This experience only strengthened the testimony and I know I was inspired to spontaneously join my sister that day.

            When I walked into the Institute on the first day of class, I was overwhelmed by the peaceful Spirit in that building. It was even more tangible than I feel it in the temple. I was grateful for the opportunity to spend more time in another building dedicated for holy purposes. I immediately loved my teacher for Teachings of President Russell M. Nelson and felt a desire to talk with her as often as possible after class. I soaked up the information in each class and took pictures of most of the slides so that I could revisit what I was learning. I also became friends with two female students - one sat behind me and the other sat next to me at the other end of the row. I believe that the teacher and one of those friends were a big part of the reason I was supposed to attend Institute. That is the teacher who encouraged me on the last day I attended class to pay more attention to references in the temple endowment session about the cross. I discuss that later in the chapter titled “Being Tutored in the Temple.”

            I enjoyed the lesson in the other two classes on that first day, but I also knew I wasn’t supposed to take them after all. Along with that thought, I unexpectedly had a strong desire to try to graduate from Institute, which was not on my radar at all. So I went to talk to the secretaries about the possibility of transferring my religion credits from BYU. Two of the secretaries lived in the 5th ward of our previous stake and the other one was related to a family in the 3rd ward. What are the odds of that? I wasn’t ever able to visit them when I lived there, so I thought this might be an opportunity to get to know them better. They agreed to transfer both classes from Fall semester 1992, which was such a relief and meant that nothing had been wasted from that original college experience! My Sharing the Gospel class transferred as an elective and they were willing to allow my Book of Mormon class to count as one of the core classes in place of Eternal Families, since I just didn’t think it was a good idea to expose myself to ideal teachings with my current family situation. In order to graduate, I needed to take three core classes, so I knew I needed to start that semester. I wasn’t sure which core class to choose, so I asked the secretaries for suggestions. They suggested I talk to one of the teachers and so I went to the classroom where his class was just finishing. He immediately reminded me of my dad and he actually knew my dad. That was enough of a reason to take the class from him, so I registered for Foundations of the Restoration and began attending the next class.  

            I signed up to give a short devotional at the beginning of the following class on August 27, 2018. I’m including that here. “In Words of Mormon, Mormon abridges the large plates of Nephi and he puts the small plates with the other plates. Verse 7 says, ‘And I do this for a wise purpose; for thus it whispereth me, according to the workings of the Spirit of the Lord which is in me. And now, I do not know all things; but the Lord knoweth all things which are to come; wherefore, he worketh in me to do according to his will.’ This verse is explaining how the Lord prepared a way for the work not to be frustrated when Joseph lost the 116 pages. But, in a personal application, I have been so grateful for the promptings of the Spirit when I'm trying to figure out my next steps. That happened to me last Wednesday. I was prompted to go to the temple before class and put all of my temple cards in my backpack. I didn't know why, but I know better not to follow a prompting. During the session, I was given a stronger prompting to ask others if they would like to help with some of the names. That wasn't something I planned. I feel like it should be a priority for each of us to find our own family names to take to the temple. But a couple of older ladies in my previous ward asked me to help them with their names, which I did for several years. And that laid the foundation for finding my own names. I hope that will be the case with the people who help me as well. I know that personal revelation is a gift from Heavenly Father. I'm so grateful to Joseph Smith for following his prompting to pray out loud and ask God for more wisdom.” I passed around a sign-up sheet after that, even though I probably wasn’t supposed to. Several students signed up and continued to help me with my temple work all semester. Three kind returned missionary guys helped me with several endowments each. Two female students in that class and also my two friends in the other class helped with baptisms, confirmations, initiatories, and a couple of endowments. In addition, I kept running into a guy I met in the class I dropped. I asked if he would be willing to help also and he did several initiatories and endowments as well. It was clear that the Lord orchestrated which classes I should take and I’m so grateful for those divine intersections.

            On September 7, 2018, I was prompted to attend the Friday noon devotional where Steve Harper spoke about the new book titled Saints that he helped edit. (He is the author of the book on Joseph Smith that I spent an afternoon reading at Temple Square in July.) I didn’t realize that my dad taught with him in the BYU religion department several years ago. When my teacher found out about that connection, she spontaneously invited me to the speaker’s luncheon afterward.       

  I was grateful to have the opportunity to thank him personally for writing that book. (Another small world connection is that his wife is the sister of a friend in our current ward.) I was also grateful that I followed the prompting to attend the devotional. It’s the only one I attended during the entire time I took classes at the Institute.

            I decided to visit my parents on their mission over Fall break. So I flew there by myself and had a good experience staying with them in their apartment and touring the nearby historic sites. In fact, I wrote my final paper on my visit to Kirtland and Hiram, Ohio on October 18-19, 2018. I’m including part of it here. “Before flying to see my missionary parents in Historic Kirtland, I learned about the areas I would visit in our Foundations of the Restoration class. In the three classes preceding my trip, we discussed lessons titled “The Vision” (Doctrine and Covenants 76), “The Kirtland Temple and Priesthood Keys” (Doctrine and Covenants 109-110), and “Strength Amid Opposition” (Doctrine and Covenants 112, 121, and 122). I’m grateful for the deeper perspective my visit gave to the events that I learned about in class.

            We visited the John Johnson home on the first day I was there. It is located in Hiram, Ohio (about 45 minutes away from Historic Kirtland). My parents and I were the only visitors on the tour, so we were able to take our time and I felt the Spirit confirm to me the importance of this place. Joseph and Emma Smith lived there while Joseph worked on the translation of the Bible (JST). He and Sidney Rigdon received the vision of the degrees of glory in the upper room of the Johnson home and it was recorded as Doctrine and Covenants section 76. The missionary who led the tour took a picture of my parents and I in that room where the Savior was seen in a vision!

            A mob of men violently dragged Joseph from the Johnson home one night, beat him unmercifully, and poured tar and feathers on him…. He made his way back to the house later that night, and the women there helped to remove the tar and feathers. He recovered enough to preach a sermon on the front steps of that home the next morning and was able to identify members of the mob among the group. I am impressed with the Christlike attributes of forgiveness and humility that the prophet Joseph Smith demonstrated.

             I walked up the hill on my own the next morning to take a tour of the Kirtland Temple. Prior to the tour, I bought a leather bound copy of the Inspired Version of the Bible (which includes the JST verses within the text). I also bought replicas of the 1830 Book of Mormon, the small 1833 Book of Commandments, the 1835 Doctrine and Covenants, and the small 1832 hymn book (Doctrine and Covenants 25 explains that the Lord asked Emma Smith to make a selection of sacred hymns)…. The Kirtland Temple served the Saints for about two years until they were driven out of the area because of persecution. I enjoyed the tour of the temple, but I didn’t feel the Spirit as strongly there as I did at the other sites, possibly because it is no longer owned and operated by our Church.

            The Kirtland Temple was the first temple to be built in this dispensation (D&C 88:119). It was dedicated in March 1836 (D&C 109) and the Savior appeared there to accept it as a place where He would reveal His word (D&C 110:1-10). After that, Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery were visited by Moses, Elias, and Elijah—they each restored priesthood keys for this dispensation (D&C 110:11-16). Moses restored the keys to the gathering of the lost tribes of Israel (I think of that as missionary work or proclaiming the gospel). Elias is a title and the Abrahamic Covenant was restored through him (I think of that as temple marriage or perfecting the saints). Elijah restored the sealing power (I think of that as redeeming the dead, where the hearts of the children are turned to their fathers and vice versa). Joseph Smith also saw a vision of the celestial kingdom in the Kirtland Temple (D&C 137) and I love verse 9, which explains that we will be judged by our works and the desires of our heart. That gives me great comfort because good people always seem to have a desire to do more than they actually end up doing, so we get credit for both. We have a very merciful and loving God.

             

            I met my parents at the visitors’ center when I returned from my tour of the temple. My dad took me on the first part of the visitors’ center tour (which included the rebuilt school house) with another couple. Then two missionary sisters took me on the remainder of the Historic Kirtland tour with a couple that was also on my temple tour. First, we visited the rebuilt ashery and sawmill. After that, we spent a lot of time in the restored Newel K. Whitney store and restored Whitney home. We completed the tour in the rebuilt John Johnson inn. 

            I thoroughly enjoyed the tour of the Whitney store and home. The N.K. Whitney store played a major role in the history of the Church in Kirtland. Joseph and Emma lived there for a time and the School of the Prophets was held in the upper room of the store. Joseph received the revelation on the Word of Wisdom (D&C 89) and he also worked on the translation of the Bible (JST) there. My parents and I returned later that afternoon so that my dad could give me a priesthood blessing in the room where the School of the Prophets met. It was a very sacred experience for me to receive a blessing in a place where the Savior was seen by Joseph and it helped me to feel closer to my parents.

            The last place we visited was the Isaac Morley farm, which is a couple of miles away from the main Historic Kirtland site. My dad bent a smaller limb down from one of the large trees on the farm, so that I could have a leaf from a tree that existed during the time of Joseph Smith. I appreciated learning that Isaac Morley stayed true to his faith, in spite of opposition. He and his wife, Mary, were some of the first converts to the Church in Ohio. At the time of their conversion, several friends lived on their farm and shared a communal lifestyle. Later, they better understood the higher law of consecration and were willing to eventually sacrifice their farm when the Lord commanded it. I’m very grateful for the faith, dedication, and courage of the early Saints, which makes it possible for me to enjoy the blessings of the gospel and temple work today.”

            I shared my family situation in relation to the church with the sister missionaries during the tour. At the end of the tour, they shared a quote by James E. Faust with me. “In the pain, the agony, and the heroic endeavors of life, we pass through a refiner’s fire, and the insignificant and the unimportant in our lives can melt away like dross and make our faith bright, intact, and strong.” He continued, “This change comes about through a refining process which often seems…hard. In this way the soul can become like soft clay in the hands of the Master in building lives of faith, usefulness, beauty, and strength. For some, the refiner’s fire causes a loss of belief and faith in God, but those with eternal perspective understand that such refining is part of the perfection process. In our extremities, it is possible to become born again, born anew, renewed in heart and spirit….This trial of faith can become a priceless experience. Stated Peter, ‘That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ’ (1 Peter 1:7). Trials and adversity can be preparatory to becoming born anew. A rebirth out of spiritual adversity causes us to become new creatures… born of God, changed, redeemed, and uplifted—to become the sons and daughters of God. (See Mosiah 27:24–27.)” (“The Refiner’s Fire,” Ensign, May 1979).

            No other semester compared with that first semester with those two classes hand-picked just for me. However, I still enjoyed and was uplifted by the other classes I took at the Institute. In Spring 2019, I took a second core class, Teachings and Doctrines of the Book of Mormon. In Summer 2019, I took three classes, so I could graduate and focus solely on my last semester at UVU in Fall 2019. During first term of Summer, I took my last core class, Jesus Christ and the Everlasting Gospel. I also took an elective taught by the Institute director, Repentance and Forgiveness. It was a powerful class and I met another friend who I have stayed in touch with occasionally since then. Both teachers and that friend were helpful in supporting me after I found out our daughter and her boyfriend were going to have a baby.

            I took my last class during second term of Summer, Witnesses of Christ. There was only one other female student in that class and she didn’t participate much, so it was like having my own personal lesson with the teacher each time we met. Two ideas have stayed with me from that class. First, Nephi and Laban were types and shadows of Christ and Satan. In 1 Nephi 4:10, 18-19 it says that Nephi “shrunk and would that I might not… I did obey the voice of the Spirit… and I did gird on his armor…” This can be loosely compared to the Savior describing His intense suffering in Gethsemane, “…and would that I might not drink the bitter cup, and shrink—Nevertheless, glory be to the Father, and I partook and finished my preparations unto the children of men” (Doctrine and Covenants 19:18-19). Nephi cut off Laban’s head and put on his armor, which symbolizes Christ’s full victory over Satan. I would have never discovered that comparison personally and I was grateful for the way this teacher helped me to look deeper in the scriptures. Second, I learned, “marvel not, neither should (you) doubt” (Alma 5:49). Marveling about miracles (and spiritual experiences) does not produce faith. Instead, it produces doubt. Saying, “I can’t believe it” when something good happens, actually shows doubt and not faith. Don’t say, “I know I was praying for it, but I can’t believe it actually happened.” Instead, thank the Lord for His blessing, which you expected, and continue on with faith. That was another principle I would have never thought of on my own. I’m grateful for teachers who study and teach with the Spirit.

            I have always appreciated the eloquence of a quote by Parley P. Pratt, ever since I first heard my dad quote it when I was a teenager. I discovered it again in Doctrines of the Gospel Student Manual. “An intelligent being, in the image of God, possesses every organ, attribute, sense, sympathy, affection, that is possessed by God himself…. These attributes are in embryo, and are to be gradually developed. They resemble a bud, a germ, which gradually develops into bloom, and then, by progress, produces the mature fruit after its own kind. The gift of the Holy Ghost adapts itself to all these organs or attributes. It quickens all the intellectual faculties, increases, enlarges, expands, and purifies all the natural passions and affections, and adapts them, by the gift of wisdom, to their lawful use. It inspires, develops, cultivates, and matures all the fine-toned sympathies, joys, tastes, kindred feelings, and affections of our nature. It inspires virtue, kindness, goodness, tenderness, gentleness, and charity….” (Key to the Science of Theology, 61–62; quoted in “The Gift of the Holy Ghost,” Doctrines of the Gospel Student Manual). I am grateful for these strengthening and enhancing blessings.

            In the video “Wrong Roads,” Jeffery R. Holland explains, “ There are times when the only way to get from A to C is by way of B…. Noting that the sun was going down, (he and his son) decided we better get back. But we came back to a particular fork in the road, really the only one, that at that point, was absolutely unrecognizable. I asked my son to pray about which road to take, and he felt strongly that we should go to the right.... I did as well, and we went to the right and it was a dead end. We went four or five or six hundred yards and it was an absolute dead end, clearly the wrong road. We turned around, came back out, took the other road, and clearly the road to the left was the correct road. Somewhere along the way, Matt said, ‘Dad, why did we feel, after praying about it, that the right road was the proper one to take, the correct one to take, and it wasn't?’ And I said, ‘I think that the Lord, His wish for us there, and his answer to our prayer was to get us on the right road as quickly as possible with some reassurance, with some understanding, that we were on the right road and we didn't have to worry about it. And, in this case, the easiest way to do that was to let us go 400 yards or 500 yards on the wrong road, and very quickly know, without a doubt, that it was the wrong road, and therefore with equal certainty with equal conviction that the other one was the right road.’ I have absolute certain knowledge, perfect knowledge, that God loves us. He is good, He is our Father, and He expects us to pray, and trust, and be believing, and not give up, and not panic, and not retreat, and not jump ship, when something doesn't seem to be going just right. We stay in, we keep working, we keep believing, keep trusting, following that same path and we will live to fall in His arms and feel His embrace and hear Him say, ‘I told you that it'd be okay, I told you it would be all right.’” I have been grateful for the times when my prayers have been answered in a similar way.           

            Richard G. Scott explained, “What do you do when you have prepared carefully, have prayed fervently, waited a reasonable time for a response, and still do not feel an answer? You may want to express thanks when that occurs, for it is an evidence of His trust. When you are living worthily and your choice is consistent with the Savior’s teachings and you need to act, proceed with trust. … When you are living righteously and are acting with trust, God will not let you proceed too far without a warning impression if you have made the wrong decision” (“Using the Supernal Gift of Prayer,” Ensign, May 2007). I have experienced this idea of moving forward unless I feel stopped by the Spirit, rather than waiting for the Spirit to prompt me in every action.

            Another lesson came when I prayed for a stronger testimony of prophets and apostles in the temple on a Tuesday evening. This was during a difficult time when I was still sorting out my feelings around my family’s unbelief. I received an unmistakable answer from the scriptures during Gospel Doctrine class that Sunday on May 9, 2016. “…the Spirit speaketh the truth and lieth not. Wherefore, it speaketh of things as they really are, and of things as they really will be; wherefore, these things are manifested unto us plainly, for the salvation of our souls. But behold, we are not witnesses alone in these things; for God also spake them unto prophets…” (Jacob 4:13). I attached this note to the verse in Gospel Library, “We can know of a surety that prophets and seers speak truth by the second witness of the Spirit who we can always trust to testify of truth.” I will end with a basic spiritual lesson I’ve learned. Repetition in the gospel is a good thing because it helps us know what we need to focus on most. When I notice repeated words in scriptures, like “remember, remember” or when I notice repeated themes in General Conference talks, I have learned to pay attention, rather than tune them out because they may seem redundant. That lesson has served me well time and time again.