Chapter 26: Spiritual Learning

 

            On July 23, 2018, I  took a tour of UVU with my sister and her oldest daughter, since she was considering coming here for college the following year. At the end of the tour, we were walking past the back door of the Institute of Religion and my sister wondered if the door was open. We went down to check and it was. So we convinced her daughter to just be willing to check it out with us. One of the teachers there gave us an impromptu tour, some tips about good times to hang out there, and a plug for the inexpensive parking. At the end of the tour, I mentioned that I was a student at UVU also. He surprised me by saying I was eligible to take classes there too. That thought had never crossed my mind previously and it planted a seed, in the same way it did during the  original tour of UVU with our daughter. I took a copy of the classes offered and looked over it when I returned home. I decided to take Teachings of President Russell M. Nelson and two other classes, but I wasn’t allowed to register for them online because I’m over the age of 30. I called and the secretary told me she could register me if I came down there in person. So I rushed back to the Institute before I lost my courage. I signed up for two other classes on Monday and Wednesday as well,  since my UVU classes were on Tuesday and Thursday.  

            On July 30^th, my sister and I met a family friend for breakfast at the Kneaders near our home. She gave my sister a book titled Joseph Smith’s First Vision: A Guide to the Historical Accounts by Steven C. Harper. I spontaneously decided to go along with my sister up to Temple Square that day. She was meeting a friend for lunch and I thought it would be a peaceful experience to get away, walk around Temple Square, and read that book in preparation for beginning Institute classes the following month. We separated when we arrived and I wandered through Temple Square taking pictures. Then I watched the panoramic short movie of the first vision in the Church History Museum and it felt like I was there in the sacred grove with Joseph. I just stayed seated after the film ended and pondered about how grateful I was that he had the courage to pray and find answers for himself. I decided to stay and watch it again. A Japanese family came in and sat down, which meant the film was shown in their language. It helped me feel the Spirit even stronger when I couldn’t understand the words being said. That experience was the perfect preparation for reading the book later. After the film ended, I looked around the museum and paid special attention to the Kirtland time period, since our parents were currently serving a mission in Historic Kirtland. I didn’t feel like doing anything else, so after I took a picture of the Christus statue in the North Visitors Center, I sat on a chair below the ramp leading up to it. I rested my leg and started to read my sister’s book.

            I decided to walk around a little more after reading for about 45 minutes. So I headed over to the Joseph Smith Memorial Building. I rode the elevator up to the tenth floor to see the view and read a little more of the book on a bench just down the hall from the fountain and restaurants. Then I rode the elevator back down to the mezzanine level to listen to the beautiful piano music coming from the lobby below.

            After listening to the music for a few minutes, I felt ready to read some more. So I sat in the chapel and read while I waited for my sister to meet me after her lunch. The book discusses the different accounts of Joseph Smith’s first vision from a historical scholarly perspective. The short movie I watched earlier blended a few details from the different accounts to provide a fuller perspective of Joseph’s reasons for praying that day. The different accounts were told at different times to different people in different settings. To me, if each telling were exactly the same, that would make me feel like it was fabricated – like he memorized a story he made up. Each time he shared the story, he discussed different details to fit the audience. The whole afternoon was a very spiritual experience for me with plenty of time to ponder and pray about what I was reading.

            The appearance of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ to Joseph, not only ushered in a new dispensation with Priesthood power on the earth, but also explained more about Their character. Heavenly Father called Joseph by name, which meant He knew him and cared about the concerns of this fourteen year old farm boy from a poor family. He introduced Jesus and asked Joseph to “Hear Him.” This vision showed that They were two distinct and separate Beings. It also demonstrated the complete trust Heavenly Father has in Jesus as the Savior of all mankind. I’m grateful that I took the time to visit the Christus statue as well. My testimony is centered in Jesus Christ. I’m so grateful for His perfect life, which showed us the way to live ours. I’m even more grateful for His atoning sacrifice for each of us. This selfless sacrifice included His suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane, more agonizing suffering on the cross, and His resurrection on the third day. Because of Him, we will all be resurrected. Through His grace, we have the opportunity to repent, forgive, progress, change, and become more like Him in the process. This experience only strengthened the testimony and I know I was inspired to spontaneously join my sister that day.

            When I walked into the Institute on the first day of class, I was overwhelmed by the peaceful Spirit in that building. It was even more tangible than I feel it in the temple. I was grateful for the opportunity to spend more time in another building dedicated for holy purposes. I immediately loved my teacher for Teachings of President Russell M. Nelson and felt a desire to talk with her as often as possible after class. I soaked up the information in each class and took pictures of most of the slides so that I could revisit what I was learning. I also became friends with two female students - one sat behind me and the other sat next to me at the other end of the row. I believe that the teacher and one of those friends were a big part of the reason I was supposed to attend Institute. That is the teacher who encouraged me on the last day I attended class to pay more attention to references in the temple endowment session about the cross. I discuss that later in the chapter titled “Being Tutored in the Temple.”

            I enjoyed the lesson in the other two classes on that first day, but I also knew I wasn’t supposed to take them after all. Along with that thought, I unexpectedly had a strong desire to try to graduate from Institute, which was not on my radar at all. So I went to talk to the secretaries about the possibility of transferring my religion credits from BYU. Two of the secretaries lived in the 5^th ward of our previous stake and the other one was related to a family in the 3^rd ward. What are the odds of that? I wasn’t ever able to visit them when I lived there, so I thought this might be an opportunity to get to know them better. They agreed to transfer both classes from Fall semester 1992, which was such a relief and meant that nothing had been wasted from that original college experience! My Sharing the Gospel class transferred as an elective and they were willing to allow my Book of Mormon class to count as one of the core classes in place of Eternal Families, since I just didn’t think it was a good idea to expose myself to ideal teachings with my current family situation. In order to graduate, I needed to take three core classes, so I knew I needed to start that semester. I wasn’t sure which core class to choose, so I asked the secretaries for suggestions. They suggested I talk to one of the teachers and so I went to the classroom where his class was just finishing. He immediately reminded me of my dad and he actually knew my dad. That was enough of a reason to take the class from him, so I registered for Foundations of the Restoration and began attending the next class.  

            I signed up to give a short devotional at the beginning of the following class on August 27, 2018. I’m including that here. “In Words of Mormon, Mormon abridges the large plates of Nephi and he puts the small plates with the other plates. Verse 7 says, ‘And I do this for a wise purpose; for thus it whispereth me, according to the workings of the Spirit of the Lord which is in me. And now, I do not know all things; but the Lord knoweth all things which are to come; wherefore, he worketh in me to do according to his will.’ This verse is explaining how the Lord prepared a way for the work not to be frustrated when Joseph lost the 116 pages. But, in a personal application, I have been so grateful for the promptings of the Spirit when I'm trying to figure out my next steps. That happened to me last Wednesday. I was prompted to go to the temple before class and put all of my temple cards in my backpack. I didn't know why, but I know better not to follow a prompting. During the session, I was given a stronger prompting to ask others if they would like to help with some of the names. That wasn't something I planned. I feel like it should be a priority for each of us to find our own family names to take to the temple. But a couple of older ladies in my previous ward asked me to help them with their names, which I did for several years. And that laid the foundation for finding my own names. I hope that will be the case with the people who help me as well. I know that personal revelation is a gift from Heavenly Father. I'm so grateful to Joseph Smith for following his prompting to pray out loud and ask God for more wisdom.” I passed around a sign-up sheet after that, even though I probably wasn’t supposed to. Several students signed up and continued to help me with my temple work all semester. Three kind returned missionary guys helped me with several endowments each. Two female students in that class and also my two friends in the other class helped with baptisms, confirmations, initiatories, and a couple of endowments. In addition, I kept running into a guy I met in the class I dropped. I asked if he would be willing to help also and he did several initiatories and endowments as well. It was clear that the Lord orchestrated which classes I should take and I’m so grateful for those divine intersections.

            On September 7, 2018, I was prompted to attend the Friday noon devotional where Steve Harper spoke about the new book titled Saints that he helped edit. (He is the author of the book on Joseph Smith that I spent an afternoon reading at Temple Square in July.) I didn’t realize that my dad taught with him in the BYU religion department several years ago. When my teacher found out about that connection, she spontaneously invited me to the speaker’s luncheon afterward.       

  I was grateful to have the opportunity to thank him personally for writing that book. (Another small world connection is that his wife is the sister of a friend in our current ward.) I was also grateful that I followed the prompting to attend the devotional. It’s the only one I attended during the entire time I took classes at the Institute.

            I decided to visit my parents on their mission over Fall break. So I flew there by myself and had a good experience staying with them in their apartment and touring the nearby historic sites. In fact, I wrote my final paper on my visit to Kirtland and Hiram, Ohio on October 18-19, 2018. I’m including part of it here. “Before flying to see my missionary parents in Historic Kirtland, I learned about the areas I would visit in our Foundations of the Restoration class. In the three classes preceding my trip, we discussed lessons titled “The Vision” (Doctrine and Covenants 76), “The Kirtland Temple and Priesthood Keys” (Doctrine and Covenants 109-110), and “Strength Amid Opposition” (Doctrine and Covenants 112, 121, and 122). I’m grateful for the deeper perspective my visit gave to the events that I learned about in class.

            We visited the John Johnson home on the first day I was there. It is located in Hiram, Ohio (about 45 minutes away from Historic Kirtland). My parents and I were the only visitors on the tour, so we were able to take our time and I felt the Spirit confirm to me the importance of this place. Joseph and Emma Smith lived there while Joseph worked on the translation of the Bible (JST). He and Sidney Rigdon received the vision of the degrees of glory in the upper room of the Johnson home and it was recorded as Doctrine and Covenants section 76. The missionary who led the tour took a picture of my parents and I in that room where the Savior was seen in a vision!

            A mob of men violently dragged Joseph from the Johnson home one night, beat him unmercifully, and poured tar and feathers on him…. He made his way back to the house later that night, and the women there helped to remove the tar and feathers. He recovered enough to preach a sermon on the front steps of that home the next morning and was able to identify members of the mob among the group. I am impressed with the Christlike attributes of forgiveness and humility that the prophet Joseph Smith demonstrated.

             I walked up the hill on my own the next morning to take a tour of the Kirtland Temple. Prior to the tour, I bought a leather bound copy of the Inspired Version of the Bible (which includes the JST verses within the text). I also bought replicas of the 1830 Book of Mormon, the small 1833 Book of Commandments, the 1835 Doctrine and Covenants, and the small 1832 hymn book (Doctrine and Covenants 25 explains that the Lord asked Emma Smith to make a selection of sacred hymns)…. The Kirtland Temple served the Saints for about two years until they were driven out of the area because of persecution. I enjoyed the tour of the temple, but I didn’t feel the Spirit as strongly there as I did at the other sites, possibly because it is no longer owned and operated by our Church.

            The Kirtland Temple was the first temple to be built in this dispensation (D&C 88:119). It was dedicated in March 1836 (D&C 109) and the Savior appeared there to accept it as a place where He would reveal His word (D&C 110:1-10). After that, Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery were visited by Moses, Elias, and Elijah—they each restored priesthood keys for this dispensation (D&C 110:11-16). Moses restored the keys to the gathering of the lost tribes of Israel (I think of that as missionary work or proclaiming the gospel). Elias is a title and the Abrahamic Covenant was restored through him (I think of that as temple marriage or perfecting the saints). Elijah restored the sealing power (I think of that as redeeming the dead, where the hearts of the children are turned to their fathers and vice versa). Joseph Smith also saw a vision of the celestial kingdom in the Kirtland Temple (D&C 137) and I love verse 9, which explains that we will be judged by our works and the desires of our heart. That gives me great comfort because good people always seem to have a desire to do more than they actually end up doing, so we get credit for both. We have a very merciful and loving God.

             

            I met my parents at the visitors’ center when I returned from my tour of the temple. My dad took me on the first part of the visitors’ center tour (which included the rebuilt school house) with another couple. Then two missionary sisters took me on the remainder of the Historic Kirtland tour with a couple that was also on my temple tour. First, we visited the rebuilt ashery and sawmill. After that, we spent a lot of time in the restored Newel K. Whitney store and restored Whitney home. We completed the tour in the rebuilt John Johnson inn. 

            I thoroughly enjoyed the tour of the Whitney store and home. The N.K. Whitney store played a major role in the history of the Church in Kirtland. Joseph and Emma lived there for a time and the School of the Prophets was held in the upper room of the store. Joseph received the revelation on the Word of Wisdom (D&C 89) and he also worked on the translation of the Bible (JST) there. My parents and I returned later that afternoon so that my dad could give me a priesthood blessing in the room where the School of the Prophets met. It was a very sacred experience for me to receive a blessing in a place where the Savior was seen by Joseph and it helped me to feel closer to my parents.

            The last place we visited was the Isaac Morley farm, which is a couple of miles away from the main Historic Kirtland site. My dad bent a smaller limb down from one of the large trees on the farm, so that I could have a leaf from a tree that existed during the time of Joseph Smith. I appreciated learning that Isaac Morley stayed true to his faith, in spite of opposition. He and his wife, Mary, were some of the first converts to the Church in Ohio. At the time of their conversion, several friends lived on their farm and shared a communal lifestyle. Later, they better understood the higher law of consecration and were willing to eventually sacrifice their farm when the Lord commanded it. I’m very grateful for the faith, dedication, and courage of the early Saints, which makes it possible for me to enjoy the blessings of the gospel and temple work today.”

            I shared my family situation in relation to the church with the sister missionaries during the tour. At the end of the tour, they shared a quote by James E. Faust with me. “In the pain, the agony, and the heroic endeavors of life, we pass through a refiner’s fire, and the insignificant and the unimportant in our lives can melt away like dross and make our faith bright, intact, and strong.” He continued, “This change comes about through a refining process which often seems…hard. In this way the soul can become like soft clay in the hands of the Master in building lives of faith, usefulness, beauty, and strength. For some, the refiner’s fire causes a loss of belief and faith in God, but those with eternal perspective understand that such refining is part of the perfection process. In our extremities, it is possible to become born again, born anew, renewed in heart and spirit….This trial of faith can become a priceless experience. Stated Peter, ‘That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ’ (1 Peter 1:7). Trials and adversity can be preparatory to becoming born anew. A rebirth out of spiritual adversity causes us to become new creatures… born of God, changed, redeemed, and uplifted—to become the sons and daughters of God. (See Mosiah 27:24–27.)” (“The Refiner’s Fire,” Ensign, May 1979).

            No other semester compared with that first semester with those two classes hand-picked just for me. However, I still enjoyed and was uplifted by the other classes I took at the Institute. In Spring 2019, I took a second core class, Teachings and Doctrines of the Book of Mormon. In Summer 2019, I took three classes, so I could graduate and focus solely on my last semester at UVU in Fall 2019. During first term of Summer, I took my last core class, Jesus Christ and the Everlasting Gospel. I also took an elective taught by the Institute director, Repentance and Forgiveness. It was a powerful class and I met another friend who I have stayed in touch with occasionally since then. Both teachers and that friend were helpful in supporting me after I found out our daughter and her boyfriend were going to have a baby.

            I took my last class during second term of Summer, Witnesses of Christ. There was only one other female student in that class and she didn’t participate much, so it was like having my own personal lesson with the teacher each time we met. Two ideas have stayed with me from that class. First, Nephi and Laban were types and shadows of Christ and Satan. In 1 Nephi 4:10, 18-19 it says that Nephi “shrunk and would that I might not… I did obey the voice of the Spirit… and I did gird on his armor…” This can be loosely compared to the Savior describing His intense suffering in Gethsemane, “…and would that I might not drink the bitter cup, and shrink—Nevertheless, glory be to the Father, and I partook and finished my preparations unto the children of men” (Doctrine and Covenants 19:18-19). Nephi cut off Laban’s head and put on his armor, which symbolizes Christ’s full victory over Satan. I would have never discovered that comparison personally and I was grateful for the way this teacher helped me to look deeper in the scriptures. Second, I learned, “marvel not, neither should (you) doubt” (Alma 5:49). Marveling about miracles (and spiritual experiences) does not produce faith. Instead, it produces doubt. Saying, “I can’t believe it” when something good happens, actually shows doubt and not faith. Don’t say, “I know I was praying for it, but I can’t believe it actually happened.” Instead, thank the Lord for His blessing, which you expected, and continue on with faith. That was another principle I would have never thought of on my own. I’m grateful for teachers who study and teach with the Spirit.

            I have always appreciated the eloquence of a quote by Parley P. Pratt, ever since I first heard my dad quote it when I was a teenager. I discovered it again in Doctrines of the Gospel Student Manual. “An intelligent being, in the image of God, possesses every organ, attribute, sense, sympathy, affection, that is possessed by God himself…. These attributes are in embryo, and are to be gradually developed. They resemble a bud, a germ, which gradually develops into bloom, and then, by progress, produces the mature fruit after its own kind. The gift of the Holy Ghost adapts itself to all these organs or attributes. It quickens all the intellectual faculties, increases, enlarges, expands, and purifies all the natural passions and affections, and adapts them, by the gift of wisdom, to their lawful use. It inspires, develops, cultivates, and matures all the fine-toned sympathies, joys, tastes, kindred feelings, and affections of our nature. It inspires virtue, kindness, goodness, tenderness, gentleness, and charity….” (Key to the Science of Theology, 61–62; quoted in “The Gift of the Holy Ghost,” Doctrines of the Gospel Student Manual). I am grateful for these strengthening and enhancing blessings.

            In the video “Wrong Roads,” Jeffery R. Holland explains, “ There are times when the only way to get from A to C is by way of B…. Noting that the sun was going down, (he and his son) decided we better get back. But we came back to a particular fork in the road, really the only one, that at that point, was absolutely unrecognizable. I asked my son to pray about which road to take, and he felt strongly that we should go to the right.... I did as well, and we went to the right and it was a dead end. We went four or five or six hundred yards and it was an absolute dead end, clearly the wrong road. We turned around, came back out, took the other road, and clearly the road to the left was the correct road. Somewhere along the way, Matt said, ‘Dad, why did we feel, after praying about it, that the right road was the proper one to take, the correct one to take, and it wasn't?’ And I said, ‘I think that the Lord, His wish for us there, and his answer to our prayer was to get us on the right road as quickly as possible with some reassurance, with some understanding, that we were on the right road and we didn't have to worry about it. And, in this case, the easiest way to do that was to let us go 400 yards or 500 yards on the wrong road, and very quickly know, without a doubt, that it was the wrong road, and therefore with equal certainty with equal conviction that the other one was the right road.’ I have absolute certain knowledge, perfect knowledge, that God loves us. He is good, He is our Father, and He expects us to pray, and trust, and be believing, and not give up, and not panic, and not retreat, and not jump ship, when something doesn't seem to be going just right. We stay in, we keep working, we keep believing, keep trusting, following that same path and we will live to fall in His arms and feel His embrace and hear Him say, ‘I told you that it'd be okay, I told you it would be all right.’” I have been grateful for the times when my prayers have been answered in a similar way.           

            Richard G. Scott explained, “What do you do when you have prepared carefully, have prayed fervently, waited a reasonable time for a response, and still do not feel an answer? You may want to express thanks when that occurs, for it is an evidence of His trust. When you are living worthily and your choice is consistent with the Savior’s teachings and you need to act, proceed with trust. … When you are living righteously and are acting with trust, God will not let you proceed too far without a warning impression if you have made the wrong decision” (“Using the Supernal Gift of Prayer,” Ensign, May 2007). I have experienced this idea of moving forward unless I feel stopped by the Spirit, rather than waiting for the Spirit to prompt me in every action.

            Another lesson came when I prayed for a stronger testimony of prophets and apostles in the temple on a Tuesday evening. This was during a difficult time when I was still sorting out my feelings around my family’s unbelief. I received an unmistakable answer from the scriptures during Gospel Doctrine class that Sunday on May 9, 2016. “…the Spirit speaketh the truth and lieth not. Wherefore, it speaketh of things as they really are, and of things as they really will be; wherefore, these things are manifested unto us plainly, for the salvation of our souls. But behold, we are not witnesses alone in these things; for God also spake them unto prophets…” (Jacob 4:13). I attached this note to the verse in Gospel Library, “We can know of a surety that prophets and seers speak truth by the second witness of the Spirit who we can always trust to testify of truth.” I will end with a basic spiritual lesson I’ve learned. Repetition in the gospel is a good thing because it helps us know what we need to focus on most. When I notice repeated words in scriptures, like “remember, remember” or when I notice repeated themes in General Conference talks, I have learned to pay attention, rather than tune them out because they may seem redundant. That lesson has served me well time and time again.

Chapter 32: Family History Fun (part 3)

 

            I was asked to give a second presentation to the youth on the blessings of family history and temple work on December 30, 2018. In that presentation, I repeated what I already shared above. I also brought one of my white 2” binders to show them how I keep these ancestors in my thoughts. When I print out the cards, I print out an extra page and put it in a page protector. Then I can write down how I’m related to them or comments that I have about my temple experiences with them. And my favorite part is when I can staple the completed card back into that binder. It helps them to feel more real to me and it reminds me that each card represents an actual person, a child of God just like us. During a sealing session earlier that month, I looked into the mirrors on each side of that beautiful room and pondered what I would share with the youth. Gerrit W. Gong gave voice to my thoughts,  “Together the temple mirrors reflect back and forth images that stretch seemingly into eternity” (“Temple Mirrors of Eternity: A Testimony of Family,” Ensign, Nov. 2010). Quentin L Cook explained, “These reflected images help us contemplate parents, grandparents, and all previous generations. They help us recognize the sacred covenants that connect us to all generations that follow” (“See Yourself in the Temple,” Ensign, May 2016).

            David A. Bednar taught, “As members of Christ’s restored Church, we have the covenant responsibility to search out our ancestors and provide for them the saving ordinances of the gospel. ‘For their salvation is necessary and essential to our salvation, as Paul says concerning the fathers—that they without us cannot be made perfect—neither can we without our dead be made perfect.’ (Doctrine and Covenants 128:15). For these reasons we do family history research, build temples, and perform vicarious ordinances” (“The Hearts of the Children Shall Turn,” Ensign, Nov. 2011). Joseph Smith taught, “Herein is the chain that binds the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the children to the fathers, which fulfills the mission of Elijah” (“Becoming Saviors on Mount Zion,” Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Joseph Smith, 473). Quentin L. Cook explained, “The combination of increased numbers of temples and advanced technology to fulfill our sacred family history responsibilities for our ancestors makes this the most blessed time in all history. You are literally among the prophesied saviors on Mount Zion” (“See Yourself in the Temple,” Ensign, May 2016). In other words, as we perform vicarious ordinances for our ancestors, we do something for them that they cannot do for themselves. This is symbolic of the way our Savior saved each of us from sin and death through His atoning sacrifice, which is something none of us could do for ourselves. It is the way He allows us to help in His work of salvation for each child of God. I’m so grateful for this opportunity we’ve been given to serve others in such an important way.

            One evening in February 2019, I was sitting in the baptistry waiting for some ordinances to be completed. I normally tried not to stay at the temple into the evenings because it detracted from family time at home. However, this time I felt prompted to stay and I texted my husband to let him know that I would be home as soon as I could. I then went out to the desk to ask for more blue and pink papers to attach to each set of five male and female cards for baptisms and confirmations. The man at the desk noticed that my family names were from the Netherlands and asked if any were from Germany. I replied that one family line married into a German line. He just happened be a professor at BYU who specialized in family history with an emphasis in Germanic names. He asked if I would be able to share some with him and several students who were planning to participate in a “German night” at the baptistry. He explained that on the evening of April 3rd, all the ordinances would be performed in German for ancestors from Germany. I agreed to try to find some names for them. So I spent the next few weeks following several lines and was able to supply him with more than enough. They ended up completing a little over 200 baptisms that night. I felt compelled to finish the rest of them, so I sat in the baptistry (most of that time shivering by the font) for six hours the following Tuesday to complete 200 more female baptisms, along with waiting for 60 more male baptisms to be completed. I learned that if I released those names to have the initiatories completed by temple patrons, they would often be finished very quickly. Then I reserved many of them again to complete the endowment and sealing. After this set of events, I watched the initiatories being completed over several days in real time - each time I refreshed the screen on Family Search. I was so grateful for the miracle that Heavenly Father provided to allow so many to begin on the covenant path prior to Easter. I love the song "Risen" written by Shawna Belt Edwards. One of the lines says that Jesus "set the captives free." I felt that powerfully during this experience. I am in awe at what God can do with a willing heart, hands, and feet. He magnifies our relatively small offerings in often unexpected and miraculous ways. My family history work increased exponentially after that.

             Over the past two years, many kind people have been willing to help me with the growing number of ordinances. I have needed the most help with endowments, since they take the longest. Their selfless service has allowed me to continue working on baptisms and sealings – almost exclusively. I love the opportunity that gives me to begin and end the process with most of the ancestors I have found. When I share my temple cards with people who are willing to help me, I tell them about my grandma who came to America from the Netherlands. I hope it helps them to feel even more purpose as they help with the work. One friend asked if she could send some cards to her parents and adult brother who live in Idaho. Her brother has some emotional struggles and he found purpose in helping me with those endowments, which felt like a win-win situation. My previous academic advisor at UVU who has become a dear friend has also helped me with a large number of endowments and the youth in her stake completed many baptisms during a youth conference. I was in an endowment session at the Mt. Timpanogos Temple one evening and noticed a couple who had previously moved from our ward. It was a large session, so I went back and talked to the woman while we were waiting to go through the veil. She and her husband stopped by our house later that week and picked up some endowment cards as well. A couple in our ward who served as full-time stake missionaries have been very helpful. They texted me a picture of a poem on August 4, 2019. The poem was written by Don L. Searle and is titled “One Holy Moment.” They wrote, “This poem reminds me of the feelings we have when we take your names to the temple. Thank you.” Here is the part that was most meaningful to me:

Born in different centuries,

You and I, an ocean apart,

And half a continent.

Never would our lives touch

But for this holy moment.

In a temple of our God…

Did you know joy in your years?

I hope you know it now,

As our lives touch

In this sacred moment,

My one brief chance to serve.

Would that I could reach a hand

Across two hundred years,

Or put an arm across a shoulder

To tell you what I feel…

            Because I graduated with my associate degree from UVU in November 2019, I had some extra time that I could spend in the temple before our grandson was born in January 2020. So, as my Christmas gift to Jesus, I made a goal to spend as many days as possible in the Provo Temple before it was closed for Christmas. During that time, I talked more often with an older woman who was retired and never been married. She lived near the temple and spent each day there doing work for other people. She specifically focused on sealings and we ended up in many sessions together. One day, she offered to help me with some of my sealings and I was so grateful. I brought 30 cards for her and she finished them in one day. I couldn’t believe it! She offered to do more for me over the Christmas holiday, since she would be going to the Provo City Center Temple, and gave me her home address. During those two weeks, I continued to prepare more names for sealings. Initially, I drove to her house and clipped 65 cards to the side of her mailbox near the front door. Again, she completed them in two or three days! That process miraculously repeated two more times during the Christmas holiday. Meanwhile, I attended the Mt. Timpanogos Temple while the Provo Temple was closed. I was in a few sealing sessions with a man who regularly served in that temple also. He saw how many names I was trying to complete over several sessions and asked if he could help. I left a few cards with him and he finished them that day. A few days later, he walked into another of my sealing sessions and I was so happy to see him. He also wrote down his P.O. box number and gave it to me. I started sending him sealing cards as well and he completed approximately 200 sealings over the next three months, which was another miraculous gift.

            When the Provo Temple opened again in January, I was so grateful for the chance to thank my sweet temple friend in person. She said she felt kind of burned out, which was very understandable, so I wasn’t planning to give any more cards to her. Remember the older man I met in the temple cafeteria who completed seven endowments for me in April 2018? A few months before the Christmas break, I saw him again in the sealing area. I was really grateful for the chance to thank him in person after a year of wondering if our paths would ever cross again. From that time on, whenever he was in a session with me, he would take a few of my cards, so that I could go home to my family a little earlier than I had planned. (He decided that he was needed more in the sealing rooms, so he started to only do two endowment sessions, instead of three, each day. Then he would end each day of service by participating in five or six sealing sessions.) When he found out that my other temple friend was feeling burned out, he offered to help also. That was a relief to the friend who felt burned out and she decided she could help me after all. They became a dynamic duo. I continued to prepare names at home and brought 100 or 200 cards at a time to the temple. When I saw one of them, I gave them the cards and then they divided them up. I was in awe at how many completion notifications I received from Family Search each evening. They miraculously completed each set of cards within about a week each time. When the temples closed on March 14^th due to the COVID-19 pandemic, they had completed a combined total of 1,750 sealings. (That number is in addition to the 195 my first friend completed during Christmas holiday. It also doesn’t include the children they helped seal to parents or the names they helped me with while I was serving in the sessions with them.) I’m convinced they were sent to me as angels to help me complete a work that was far too overwhelming and basically impossible for me to do alone in that amount of time.

            About three months into the quarantine, I sent out texts to many of the people who helped with my temple work during the previous two years to thank them once again for their selfless service. On June 10th, I received another reply text from the couple in our ward who previously served as stake missionaries. It said, “We have appreciated the opportunity of taking names to the temple, especially since my ancestry on one side is Dutch. A couple years ago you indicated you felt the need to get these names done. Possibly a forewarning about the forthcoming closure of the temples?...” I replied, “I absolutely know that I felt the urgency because the Lord knew the temples would be closing for a while. I’m so grateful he sent me earth angels like both of you to help with that miracle.” This whole experience reminded me that a definition of Zion is being of “one heart and one mind” (see Moses 7:18) and it is built by people who serve selflessly with Christlike love. I am grateful for the privilege of being surrounded by people with those qualities. One of the last lines of my patriarchal blessing says, “As you help to gather genealogy, you will become a savior on Mt. Zion and will be a great blessing to those who have passed on beyond the veil. When you leave this earth there will be a great reunion with your ancestors who will be glad to receive you because of your work in their behalf.” As I mentioned earlier, I never thought this was even a real possibility before Family Search sent me the notification for that first ancestor in January 2018. This experience has truly shown me that with God, nothing is impossible (see Luke 1:37).

Chapter 32: Family History Fun (part 2)

I'm still not finished with this chapter, so I'm going to post this and continue working on it tomorrow.

 

            Miracles and divine intersections continued regularly during the following two years. On April 5, 2018, my sister in North Carolina found an entire family of our ancestors when she followed up on a notification for Cornelia Driesprong (2^nd cousin of our grandma’s dad) that Family Search sent her daughter in February. The temple closest to my sister was now closed for long-term renovations, so I reserved the work for the Driesprong family. The next day, on April 6th, my mom forwarded a notification to me that Family Search sent her back in March for Jansje Cornelia Kruidenier (4^th cousin of our grandma’s dad). As I looked at her family members, I noticed that all of her mom’s temple work had been completed in 1961, except for her being sealed to her parents. So that's how I found her parents, Pieter van der Wel and Maria den Boer, who also needed all of their work done. So I reserved the work for the Kruidenier family, along with their grandparents. That meant I could do the baptism and confirmation of a grandma at the same time as several of her granddaughters. I printed out all of those cards and invited one of my walking friends to go with me to begin the temple work for these families the next day on April 7^th.

            I returned to the Provo Temple on April 12, 2018 to do the initiatories for these female ancestors. After I arrived, I met a kind woman at the initiatory desk who offered to help me complete half of them. Because of that, I also had time to do one of the endowments, and I ended up sitting by that same kind woman during the session. I looked her up later on Facebook and sent her a message. We decided to meet at the Provo Temple again the following week, so we could get to know each other better. I went a couple of hours early on April 19^th to wait in the baptistry for the male ordinances to be completed. Then I asked a kind man to take those completed cards into the male dressing room, so the initiatories could possibly be completed while I was in the endowment session. When my friend arrived, we went to the cafeteria to visit while we ate lunch prior to the endowment session. As I waited for her at a table, I noticed an older man sitting in the corner of the cafeteria and I felt prompted to go over and talk with him. I explained that seven of my male temple cards were in the men’s dressing room and I wasn’t sure if the work was actually being done or not. He understood my plight. Since he was almost finished with his meal, he would check to see if they were completed. If they weren’t, he promised he would do them for me. I was very grateful for his kindness. He came back a few minutes later with the completed cards. He then surprised me by explaining that he spent every day in the temple and completed three endowment sessions each day. This was a Thursday and he said he could have those cards completed for me by Saturday. I immediately jumped up and gave him a big hug, before I realized that it may not have been appropriate. He laughed and said he would take a hug like that anytime, just like he would from a granddaughter. I was overcome with joy in that moment and felt extremely grateful for this obvious divine intersection.

            True to his word, the endowments were completed by Saturday afternoon. As soon as the notification appeared on Family Search, I gathered the other cards I had been working on during the previous two weeks and drove to the temple to help complete the sealings. President Freestone was the sealer that day, which made the experience even more sacred. (Our families know each other and I didn’t realize that he had become a sealer on the day before my birthday in February – which is when this journey began for me. He and his wife now have a special place in my heart). I briefly shared the experiences that brought me to that session and he commented later on how contagious my enthusiasm was. Over the following year, I occasionally asked Heavenly Father to bless that kind man who helped to complete those seven male endowments for me. I wondered if our paths would ever cross again, since he was there each day and my time at the temple had increased. That time would come later.

            I was asked to give a presentation to the youth in our ward on the blessings of temple and family history work. That presentation occurred on May 20, 2018 and I was grateful to have the experiences of the previous month to share with them. I also used a Conference talk by Dale G. Renlund as my theme. He explained, “When God directs us to do one thing, He often has many purposes in mind. Family history and temple work is not only for the dead but blesses the living as well…. We (can) identify our own ancestors who died without receiving the ordinances of salvation. We can perform the ordinances vicariously in temples, and our ancestors may choose to accept the ordinances. We are also encouraged to help ward and stake members with their family names. It is… amazing that, through family history and temple work, we can help to redeem the dead. But as we participate in family history and temple work today, we also lay claim to ‘healing’ blessings…. This long list includes these blessings: increased understanding of the Savior and His atoning sacrifice; increased influence of the Holy Ghost to feel strength and direction for our own lives; increased faith, so that conversion to the Savior becomes deep and abiding; …increased joy through an increased ability to feel the love of the Lord; …increased love and appreciation for ancestors and living relatives, so we no longer feel alone; …increased protection from… the intensifying influence of the adversary; and increased assistance to mend troubled, broken, or anxious hearts and make the wounded whole. If you have prayed for any of these blessings, participate in family history and temple work. As you do so, your prayers will be answered” (“Family History and Temple Work: Sealing and Healing,” Ensign, May 2018).

            He continued, “When ordinances are performed on behalf of the deceased, God’s children on earth are healed. No wonder President Russell M. Nelson, in his first message as President of the Church, declared, ‘Your worship in the temple and your service there for your ancestors will bless you with increased personal revelation and peace and will fortify your commitment to stay on the covenant path.’ An earlier prophet also foresaw blessings for both the living and the dead. A heavenly messenger showed Ezekiel a vision of a temple with water gushing out of it…. Two characteristics of the water are noteworthy. First, …meaningful growth occurs going backward and forward through the generations as sealing ordinances weld families together. Second, the river renewed everything that it touched. The blessings of the temple likewise have a stunning capacity to heal. Temple blessings can heal hearts and lives and families” (“Family History and Temple Work: Sealing and Healing,” Ensign, May 2018).

            I feel like the blessings of the temple have made every part of my life better. It hasn’t solved all my problems, but it has given me strength to deal with them better. Each time I complete the temple ordinances for an ancestor, I believe they become another angel that can help strengthen me and my family when life is difficult. Temple work is an amazing kind of service because the people who have died can’t do this work themselves. So we are literally helping Christ to save them. He has the power to do it all on His own, but he allows us to help Him. I shared with the youth how the temple helps us grow up in a more spiritual way. This scripture passage explains what I mean, “…Do thou grant, Holy Father, that all those who shall worship in this house….may grow up in thee, and receive a fulness of the Holy Ghost… and be prepared to obtain every needful thing” (Doctrine and Covenants 109:14-15). Dale G. Renlund concluded, “President Russell M. Nelson, however, cautioned: ‘We can be inspired all day long about temple and family history experiences others have had. But we must do something to actually experience the joy ourselves.’ He continued, ‘I invite you to prayerfully consider what kind of sacrifice—preferably a sacrifice of time—you can make [to] do more temple and family history work’” (“Family History and Temple Work: Sealing and Healing,” Ensign, May 2018). I thought I wouldn’t ever be able to figure out how to do family history work, but I’ve been so grateful that Heavenly Father knew exactly what was needed and provided a way through these miraculous experiences.

Worry Less and Laugh More

I always appreciate it when life coaches phrase ideas as questions. It feels more powerful to me.

My friend sent me this picture she took in Alaska.
They are plastic flamingos. :D

 

Chapter 33: Never Too Late

 

            The name and order of the chapters in this book’s table of contents and the division of the book into five different sections was given to me very clearly one afternoon at the end of summer 2019. I have tried not to deviate from the names and order that I originally decided on. However, I wasn’t sure what to write for this chapter in its original place at the beginning of section four. As I pondered, I felt that this was the better place for it. I believe it’s never too late to learn, to love, to change, to develop Christlike attributes, or to progress. This chapter has some similarities with the chapter on perfectionism, but I think the concepts are worth repeating.

            Cassy Budd is a professor at BYU. She gave a speech at BYU that was very powerful for me and I used several quotes from it in my final English paper on perfectionism. She explained that her experiences gave her “a deep appreciation for the value of the ‘try’. Simply showing up and starting where you are is all that can be asked of you. Regardless of your level of experience, your failures, or your perception of your own potential, wherever you are in life, you just need to show up and try. Try to listen to the patient instruction of the Savior, try to imitate His movements, try to ignore the negative self-talk when your movements do not measure up, and try to focus on the joy in the learning instead of the defeat in the failure. And amidst your ‘try,’ recognize that others around you are in the middle of their own ‘try.’ Celebrate their progress, even when they seem to be farther along than you, and give them a pass when they fall short.” She applied this to her mistakes in playing the piano. “When you allow yourself to be paralyzed by your mistakes, you diminish your ability to be useful... Making mistakes is simply part of the human condition and can be one of your most productive learning tools. Yes, you need to recognize your mistakes. But more than that, you need to find a way to effectively play through them.” She continued with another example, “Failure is useful in physical development as well. Strategically working a muscle to failure—the point at which you can no longer lift or push or pull whatever you are lifting or pushing or pulling—and then allowing proper time for the muscle fibers to repair is one of the most effective ways to build strength. This process of failing and repairing eventually results in stronger, more efficient muscles” (“On Failing and Finishing,” BYU Speeches, 14 Feb. 2017).

            I especially appreciated on the part of her talk where she focused on the Savior’s role in our lives. She explained, “We all, at one time or other, will be in a situation in which our strength or knowledge or skill or perhaps even our desire is not enough. These are the times when your Savior pulls you up out of the darkness—if you will let go and take His hand. These are the times when His voice guides you to safety—if you will listen carefully. And it is for these times that He descended below all things—to become your stepping-stone.” She then quoted Jeffery R. Holland, “When [the Savior] says . . . , ‘Come unto me,’ He means He knows the way out and He knows the way up. He knows it because He has walked it. He knows the way because He is the way” [“Broken Things to Mend,” Ensign, May 2006; emphasis in original]. She continued, “[The Savior] can work with ­whatever you have to give if you are willing to accept His help…. Living perfectly is not the plan. Repentance is the plan. Jesus Christ is the plan. I think we erroneously equate perfection with living a perfect life, with never failing or falling short, but Jesus Christ is the only one who ever did or ever will do that…. Perfection, for us, is not about being flawless; it is about being finished” (“On Failing and Finishing,” BYU Speeches, 14 Feb. 2017).

            I was fascinated with the conclusion of her talk and how she tied it all together so seamlessly. She explained, “Artists who practice the Japanese art form kintsugi repair broken pottery by filling the cracks with a lacquer made from gold, silver, or platinum, restoring the damaged piece to something beautiful and whole. Kintsugi teaches that scars are not something to hide; rather, they are to be celebrated for the unique beauty they exhibit. The scars themselves are considered precious and therefore are mended with precious metals to honor their value. The finished piece is even more beautiful than the unbroken original. Similarly, we honor the scars of our Savior, for He has graven us on the palms of His hands (see Isaiah 49:16)…. When we turn our broken pieces over to the Savior, our gaps are filled with Him—with His perfection—and we are made complete; we are finished by the Great Creator through the restorative power of ‘the author and finisher of our faith’ (Hebrews 12:2). We come to know the Savior not just by recognizing and reverencing His scars but by recognizing and reverencing our own. We are bound to the Savior through our mutual scars, ‘and with His stripes we are healed’ (Isaiah 53:5; see also verse 4)…. Jesus Christ, the Savior of the world, desires to mend your broken pieces, fill your empty spaces, and make of you a vessel that is more beautiful and whole. May you each find the strength to fail and, in the hands of your Savior, the power to finish” (“On Failing and Finishing,” BYU Speeches, 14 Feb. 2017).

            I was asked to give a talk on Christlike attributes when we moved into our current ward. I really appreciated the opportunity to study more about them. The title of chapter six in the Preach My Gospel manual is “How Do I Develop Christ-like Attributes?” It explains, “Christlike attributes are gifts from God…. Ask your Heavenly Father to bless you with these attributes; you cannot develop them without His help…” This chapter discusses nine of Christ’s attributes. I won’t mention all of them, but I highly recommend going through that chapter and looking up the scripture references. It inspired me to strive to be more Christlike in so many ways. The first three attributes it mentions are faith, hope, and charity. Faith in Jesus Christ. Hope through Jesus Christ. And charity as the pure love of Christ.

            The gospel reference book, True to the Faith, explains, “Faith is a principle of action and power. Whenever you work toward a worthy goal, you exercise faith. You show your hope for something that you cannot yet see…. Having faith in Jesus Christ means relying completely on Him—trusting in His infinite power, intelligence, and love…. It means believing that even though you do not understand all things, He does. Remember that because He has experienced all your pains, afflictions, and infirmities, He knows how to help you rise above your daily difficulties (see Alma 7:11-12)…. He is always ready to help you as you remember His plea: ‘Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not’” (Doctrine and Covenants 6:36). One of my favorite scriptures has always been, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me” (Philippians 4:13).

            Preach My Gospel explains, “Hope is an abiding trust that the Lord will fulfill His promises to you…. When you have hope, you work through trials and difficulties with the confidence and assurance that all things will work together for your good. Hope helps you conquer discouragement….” Another of my very favorite scriptures shows how faith and hope work together. The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ explains, “…Whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world… which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works…” (Ether 12:4).

            In the New Testament, Jesus taught, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.” (Matthew 22:37-39). The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ explains,  “Charity… is kind…. Charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity.... Charity is the pure love of Christ…. Wherefore… pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ…” (Moroni 7:45-48). Preach My Gospel continues, “…Charity is a gift from God…. As you follow this counsel and strive to do righteous works, your love for all people will increase….You will come to feel a sincere concern for the …. happiness of other people. You will see them as children of God with the potential of becoming like our Heavenly Father.…You will avoid judging others, criticizing them, or saying negative things about them. You will try to understand them and their points of view.”    

            I was grateful to discover this verse in the New Testament, “And of some have compassion, making a difference” (Jude 1:22). I absolutely know that genuine kindness, compassion, and Christlike love makes a positive difference! We won’t always know exactly what to say or do, but we can try our best to uplift others when they are struggling or discouraged. The New Testament also explains, “…Above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8). I believe that when we focus on developing Christlike love for others, it helps refine us so that the sins don’t occur as much anymore. The good news of the gospel is that we are saved by grace. That helps us move away from the pressure-filled, checklist mentality and focus more on faith, hope, and charity. We can’t do one thing to earn our way to heaven. We just need to practice making progress in good ways. As we pray and practice, our love of God, ourselves, and others will grow. That way, we are obeying the most important commandments. When we strive to live a Christlike life, we are practicing following Christ. That way, we will be comfortable with Him when we see Him again. Preach My Gospel concludes, “Learning to be like Christ is a lifelong pursuit. You follow Christ’s example—develop His attributes—one action and decision at a time.” It is never too late to make a good decision, to choose to do something kind, or to take a step in the right direction.