Part 1: Finding Balance

            Life often feels like a roller coaster with its slow climbs and fast drops. We dread Mondays and can’t wait until Fridays. Summer feels too hot and winter feels too cold. Road construction seems to be ongoing with the accompanying bumps and detours and unexpected waits.
            Being human is also unpredictable. We “get up on the wrong side of the bed” and everything seems to go wrong for no obvious reason. Or we have a “bad hair day,” which is not only a bad day, but one that is characterized by our hair being particularly unmanageable. There is also an “ebb and flow” in our relationships and just when we figure out a new way of approaching them, the dynamic changes again.
            Sometimes when life feels especially difficult, it’s as if a rug has been unexpectedly pulled out from under us. We flail our arms so we don’t completely lose our balance, but occasionally we do fall down on our back side. This momentarily knocks the wind out of us and causes us to look around and wonder how or why it happened. Or maybe we’re experiencing a type of storm in our lives with rain pouring down and the wind threatening to blow us over. During those difficult times, it may feel as if the ocean waves crash over us faster than we can prepare for or recover from. It feels increasingly difficult to catch our breath and our muscles feel weak from trying to stay afloat. Then, when we do survive, we worry about when “the other shoe will drop.”
            Does any of that sound familiar? Many of those phrases are clichés, but there is a reason they are used so often. We are all in this human plight together. We can learn to “enjoy the journey” or cause unnecessary pain for ourselves and others by complaining that it’s not fair. We can easily fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others and believing the “grass is greener on the other side.” The truth is, the grass is actually greener where you water it.
            I returned to college four years ago and three words have repeatedly caught my attention: homeostasis, equilibrium, and resilience. Homeostasis is defined as the tendency toward a relatively stable equilibrium between interdependent elements, especially as maintained by physiological processes. Equilibrium is defined as a state in which opposing forces or influences are balanced. Resilience is defined as the ability of a substance or object to spring back into shape.
            I especially appreciate a second definition of resilience: the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties. This is sometimes called emotional toughness, flexibility, or adaptability. It’s basically the ability to pick yourself up after you fall or to bounce back after you’ve survived a difficult experience. In addition, steadiness and stability are synonyms for equilibrium.
            I often wish I had developed a little more flexibility, adaptability, and steadiness over my lifetime. The first section of my book will be about learning to develop those skills.